Hi, I'm 27, my fiancée is 43. He is the best human being I've ever met, my folks love him, and so far I haven't encountered anybody who wasn't happy for us.
You never know what's said behind closed doors, but you shouldn't worry about it.
If he's good to you, doesn't talk down to you and makes you happy, there's nothing that should hold you back!
Because strangers can often offer new perspectives on things. Maybe they can introduce you to stuff you didn’t know.
Hell, just a few weeks ago, I accepted an invitation for a beer after work by a gentleman (with whom I had made clear I was married, for the record) and he introduced me to a local charitable organization I hadn’t previously heard of and I am so excited to dedicate my time and energy to this cause!
50/50 when one partner makes 3x the other isn't sustainable. Suze Orman advises contributing equal percentages to a joint account.
$60k in expenses with $150k on income should have you both contributing 40% of your income to the joint account.
If you try to go 50/50, you'll be contributing 75% of your income, while she's contributing 27% of her income, there's no way you will ever be able to save for the future at that rate.
there is nothing to get over – your wife needs to be in that position. if you have great communication, why are you annoyed by this? she is getting to know more about you.
He admits in a comment on another post of his from 11 months ago that a part of him misses his marriage. So, you are right on the money that he likes the attention he's getting.
Here's the comment he made:
I don’t know if I have to meet him, i have just being thinking of him showing up at a kids event or a public place. I don’t know if he actually would because he is clearly still married and doesn’t go out in public with my ex. Every time they break up my ex seems to reach out to me for support which I don’t shut down fast enough. Things ended sooner than I wanted and a small part of me still misses my marriage(it was a terrible relationship) I have an incredible gf now who I love, but this is more about my kids well being.
He's the problem in this relationship. Not his ex. His girlfriend deserves better than this bullshit toxic mess.
My cats are notorious for trying to eat everything and everything kibble sized and I doubt that OP would be so concerned if his cats were also as picky as yours.
Thanks for the positive comments, kind stranger. I'm surprised I got so many downvotes, simply for standing up for basic family values and common decency.
I bring up the fact that I think we should go on more dates and all of a sudden he has a full schedule and can’t make time for it or frankly doesn’t want to. I see it similar to the video game thing since I bring up wanting to play and he finds excuses as to why he won’t play together or just completely blows me off about it. I don’t expect dates super frequently especially since I’m so busy but I do expect some enthusiasm when I bring it up. If I don’t bring it up, I could honestly see him never planning anything
Her friend was chill about the situation, but she wasn't okay with how I said it because she and I talked about how I should treat her friends. Of course, under different circumstances, I would've handled myself better, but in this situation, where I did not receive a confirmation text, at least when she was in the area for an hour, knowing that I was probably still here, really stressed me out, because I felt as if I was being ignored on purpose.
To me it just sounds like she is ashamed to be with you.
Possibly, used to be more open our relationship, now she's a lot more private.
Listen, I like to see the good in people, but there isn’t any here. She basically text her to inform her she is being left you. Take that garbage out, the woman wants drama, don’t be a part of it.
You have your own place, so this really isn’t any of your business. Your bf is doing a kind thing, and ALL of the things that bother you don’t bother him. Lay off already. This woman’s life has been utterly destroyed. Consider compassion.
A relationship doesn’t run on “love” alone. You need trust, respect, intimacy, commitment, compatibility etc.
Let’s pretend you’re still with your gf. She says “I love you”, walks out the door, stays somewhere else for a week, pops back in, says “I love you”, walks out, stays somewhere for a week. Does this on repeat. She may very well love you, but is she showing it? She can say “I love you” all she wants – but is she satisfying what you need in a partner? She’s not spending time with you, not being physical with you, not caring for you. All she has is words.
You weren’t happy in the relationship – your needs weren’t being met – so you ended it. You shouldn’t feel guilt for looking out for yourself. Because at the end of the day, your partner should make you feel wanted and loved and meet your needs – that’s what a relationship is for.
And this isn’t to say she’s a bad person or anything. She just wasn’t right for what you needed – and vice versa ??♀️ I mean now you can find someone that will give you the intimacy you need and she can find someone that doesn’t need as much.
Like suckie suckie and later licki licki private parts. And if it comes out she will blame being drunk, blame him, but she will not take responsibility.
An ex boyfriend of mine had the same issue years ago. He went to the doctor and they gave him some cream which helped and made it less tight. I live! in Europe btw, but I hope they have the same cream available for your boyfriend. It didn't change the sensitivity
M- If you don’t trust someone, then leave. Her clothes are her own choice and have nothing to do with you. They’re not an indication that she’s going to cheat, but you hyperfixating on them DOES indicate that you’re going to be focused on exerting control. Someone being able to see more of her thigh doesn’t mean they have more of a claim to her body, and her showing an arbitrary amount of under boob doesn’t mean she’s advertising. Be better.
Listen, this would be a deal breaker for me. I would be concerned about what other groups he’d be prejudicial towards and also the fact that he lacks the ability to just respect people.
yeah, i dont really understand why she reacted the way she did. I wasn't necessarily denying it. I just wanted proof. But then again, looking back, we were both young and stupid, so who am i too judge?
both of ye i meant
Hi, I'm 27, my fiancée is 43. He is the best human being I've ever met, my folks love him, and so far I haven't encountered anybody who wasn't happy for us.
You never know what's said behind closed doors, but you shouldn't worry about it.
If he's good to you, doesn't talk down to you and makes you happy, there's nothing that should hold you back!
Because strangers can often offer new perspectives on things. Maybe they can introduce you to stuff you didn’t know.
Hell, just a few weeks ago, I accepted an invitation for a beer after work by a gentleman (with whom I had made clear I was married, for the record) and he introduced me to a local charitable organization I hadn’t previously heard of and I am so excited to dedicate my time and energy to this cause!
THank you for this. I really appreciate this framework!
50/50 when one partner makes 3x the other isn't sustainable. Suze Orman advises contributing equal percentages to a joint account.
$60k in expenses with $150k on income should have you both contributing 40% of your income to the joint account.
If you try to go 50/50, you'll be contributing 75% of your income, while she's contributing 27% of her income, there's no way you will ever be able to save for the future at that rate.
there is nothing to get over – your wife needs to be in that position. if you have great communication, why are you annoyed by this? she is getting to know more about you.
I’m a real person, I didn’t know about the troll thing until I had to add the throwRA to my account
He admits in a comment on another post of his from 11 months ago that a part of him misses his marriage. So, you are right on the money that he likes the attention he's getting.
Here's the comment he made:
I don’t know if I have to meet him, i have just being thinking of him showing up at a kids event or a public place. I don’t know if he actually would because he is clearly still married and doesn’t go out in public with my ex. Every time they break up my ex seems to reach out to me for support which I don’t shut down fast enough. Things ended sooner than I wanted and a small part of me still misses my marriage(it was a terrible relationship) I have an incredible gf now who I love, but this is more about my kids well being.
He's the problem in this relationship. Not his ex. His girlfriend deserves better than this bullshit toxic mess.
My cats are notorious for trying to eat everything and everything kibble sized and I doubt that OP would be so concerned if his cats were also as picky as yours.
Thanks for the positive comments, kind stranger. I'm surprised I got so many downvotes, simply for standing up for basic family values and common decency.
I bring up the fact that I think we should go on more dates and all of a sudden he has a full schedule and can’t make time for it or frankly doesn’t want to. I see it similar to the video game thing since I bring up wanting to play and he finds excuses as to why he won’t play together or just completely blows me off about it. I don’t expect dates super frequently especially since I’m so busy but I do expect some enthusiasm when I bring it up. If I don’t bring it up, I could honestly see him never planning anything
Her friend was chill about the situation, but she wasn't okay with how I said it because she and I talked about how I should treat her friends. Of course, under different circumstances, I would've handled myself better, but in this situation, where I did not receive a confirmation text, at least when she was in the area for an hour, knowing that I was probably still here, really stressed me out, because I felt as if I was being ignored on purpose.
To me it just sounds like she is ashamed to be with you.
Possibly, used to be more open our relationship, now she's a lot more private.
My advice, leave. It sounds like a toxic cycle you aren't going to break.
Listen, I like to see the good in people, but there isn’t any here. She basically text her to inform her she is being left you. Take that garbage out, the woman wants drama, don’t be a part of it.
You have your own place, so this really isn’t any of your business. Your bf is doing a kind thing, and ALL of the things that bother you don’t bother him. Lay off already. This woman’s life has been utterly destroyed. Consider compassion.
A relationship doesn’t run on “love” alone. You need trust, respect, intimacy, commitment, compatibility etc.
Let’s pretend you’re still with your gf. She says “I love you”, walks out the door, stays somewhere else for a week, pops back in, says “I love you”, walks out, stays somewhere for a week. Does this on repeat. She may very well love you, but is she showing it? She can say “I love you” all she wants – but is she satisfying what you need in a partner? She’s not spending time with you, not being physical with you, not caring for you. All she has is words.
You weren’t happy in the relationship – your needs weren’t being met – so you ended it. You shouldn’t feel guilt for looking out for yourself. Because at the end of the day, your partner should make you feel wanted and loved and meet your needs – that’s what a relationship is for.
And this isn’t to say she’s a bad person or anything. She just wasn’t right for what you needed – and vice versa ??♀️ I mean now you can find someone that will give you the intimacy you need and she can find someone that doesn’t need as much.
Like suckie suckie and later licki licki private parts. And if it comes out she will blame being drunk, blame him, but she will not take responsibility.
I’m on a two year waiting list for therapy. Nothing I can do but try to handle it myself. Thank u tho :,)
An ex boyfriend of mine had the same issue years ago. He went to the doctor and they gave him some cream which helped and made it less tight. I live! in Europe btw, but I hope they have the same cream available for your boyfriend. It didn't change the sensitivity
The change is only temporary. You are better off without him.
M- If you don’t trust someone, then leave. Her clothes are her own choice and have nothing to do with you. They’re not an indication that she’s going to cheat, but you hyperfixating on them DOES indicate that you’re going to be focused on exerting control. Someone being able to see more of her thigh doesn’t mean they have more of a claim to her body, and her showing an arbitrary amount of under boob doesn’t mean she’s advertising. Be better.
Listen, this would be a deal breaker for me. I would be concerned about what other groups he’d be prejudicial towards and also the fact that he lacks the ability to just respect people.
yeah, i dont really understand why she reacted the way she did. I wasn't necessarily denying it. I just wanted proof. But then again, looking back, we were both young and stupid, so who am i too judge?
You're dickmatized. Move on now before you end up being baby mama #3.
From the post I would assume you both would be maybe 18. 30 is too old to deal with that rubbish. Leave.