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A FWB might have the word “friend” in it, but you really aren't friends outside of the sex. You might share a meal or two, but you really don't hang out or do things together. If you did then you'd be dating. Too often FWB go south because feelings start to manifest and you can't have that in a FWB situation unless you both are feeling the vibe. I'd just reiterate with him that this is about sex and nothing else. If he still doesn't get it then perhaps it's time to look for a new FWB.
Why can I only see 1 comment and there's 5? I know one is the automod.
. It’s also a bit weird she didn’t mention meeting him at the wedding. I’d have been all “guess who was there? That asshole from college”.
this is such a small thing, but it really speaks volumes.
If it were me I'd have a bit of a steal check of her messages and social media while she is asleep or in the shower as a bit of a verification, so as not to cause alarm or for her to start being more cautious and deleting messages.
Everything you say sounds like you're being “trickle truthed” and there is much more that she isn't telling you, and that she only tells you what she needs to to quell the questions.
Moreover I would find it extremely odd of my wife came home from a work function sleeping nude on the couch, that would have immediately sent off a red flag for me. If she normally sleeps naked then that is normal I suppose, if not then that's sketchy. If she immediately got up for a shower without the usual affection then that is also sketchy because that is what someone would normally do to mask being with another person, an immediate wash (and she probably didn't do it when she got home as you might be suspicious of her showering at that time of the morning).
Be alert and be observant, also think if any story changes and do some investigation, don't leave it.
He doesn't tell anyone about you cause his wife might find out.
This is amazing advice!! And 100% truth.
This is one of those times that as a stranger looking in I can easily say I would not accept that let alone her still being friends with one of the guys on Facebook. I also totally understand how being in the actual situation would be a mind fuck that I'd honestly want to get over yet it would be so nude and cause a lot of cognitive dissonance. That is the price you will pay for your wife's decision to do it, I'd suggest either coming to the conclusion that it was a somewhat selfish thing for her to do albeit as a “young, dumb, college girl” but still selfish because she is putting that on you or realise you're just not right for each other. If you can reconcile that in yourself and come to a mutual conclusion of what this means to you and the work you will need to put in to get past it then maybe you have a chance to get over this but any hint of her not accepting the path you need to take to get over this then either go straight to therapy or end it.
You can celebrate another day. You said yourself you don't know exactly when your anniversary is so you can just make it another day this year!
It's entirely possible she's lying 100%
Either way, that revelation didn't change your stance.
But most of all, you knew your BF. Chances are high he never entertained her bullshit .
If there’s anything I learned from my 31 years of life it’s TRUST. YOUR. GUT. If something feels off, it most likely is
I too have access to money. I can go borrow money and we could both on-line in a mansion happily ever after. It doesn’t mean we should and it doesn’t mean it’s the responsible thing to do…..
I think it is a real possibility. Memories that get repressed can be unlocked randomly.
Does your father show other indicators of being a pedophile? Would you be comfortable asking one of your siblings if they thought this was strange?
My father did something similar, and I'm fairly certain he molested me when I was little.
Honestly if his touches made you uncomfortable, that in itself could be assault/sexual assault.
Updateme!
It’s also for people concerned about someone. What if you’re wrong & it isn’t blackmail or escalates. OP said they were scared. If so, they can use the Hotline number too.
I mean the advice you need is “don't snoop on your boyfriend's phone” and “leave this other woman alone and stop stalking her on-line.” You're not going to do either of those though. Which is why your boyfriend is going to dump you.
You've got kids? Keep them the fuck away from all that crazy. Try to be the most stable, mentally healthy parent you can possibly be for them.
But it hasn't been 20 years and OP is not in love. They're 8 months in…not much to lose at that point. It's literally not the same thing. I'm in a long term relationship and we've had our rough patches; I'm still very much in love. But by the time we'd had these issues, we had something worth fighting for and weren't a mere 8 months in. If the problems we had would've taken place 8 months into the relationship we absolutely would've broken up.
And yeah, I'd still replace the vase. Unless it holds some sort of sentimental value, it was only meant to be used until it couldn't be anymore.
But it hasn't been 20 years and OP is not in love. They're 8 months in…not much to lose at that point. It's literally not the same thing. I'm in a long term relationship and we've had our rough patches; I'm still very much in love. But by the time we'd had these issues, we had something worth fighting for and weren't a mere 8 months in. If the problems we had would've taken place 8 months into the relationship we absolutely would've broken up.
And yeah, I'd still replace the vase. Unless it holds some sort of sentimental value, it was only meant to be used until it couldn't be anymore.
Im sorry that you are going through this. It must be very excruciating to see such indifference from someone you have actively tried to build a life with. I went through something like this. It distorted my sense of self. Do get therapy, not for the marriage or her, just for you.
She won't agree for therapy or anything, even if she does (very small chance) it'll be to look good infront of others or giving you a false perception that she tried. Please don't fall for it. She's already hiding something. When selfish people hide something, they protect themselves with their lives, even when exposed. She will manipulate you and herself to make sense of it all.
People here or anywhere can give you advice, and maybe you already know in your heart what to do. But the most difficult part is to put yourself together. Try therapy so you don't lose sense of reality. Only a few people will empathise or understand what you're going through.
Saying I love you shouldn’t be said with the expectation of getting an answer, it’s an expression of your feelings. Expecting the other person to feel the same way you do at the same pace is kind of unreasonable imo