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This makes so much sense and explains why I feel so invisible all of the time
Thank you!! Exactly what I said
girl go to therapy if this is how you see yourself
I don’t know what you mean. To be honest, if you already let him know you’re around and available, and he hasn’t asked you out, he’s most likely simply not interested.
The confident thing to do is to forget about him and find someone who’s actually into you.
The only advice I have for you is to fix your morals.
Yes, you are responsible for your own mental health. They are not your therapist and your depression is above their paygrade.
He’s nonchalant BECAUSE it will make you second guess yourself. It’s not because what he did wasn’t violent and abusive – it’s because downplaying it is one of several tactics abusers use in order to get you to stay. The other one is to over-apologise and love bomb you and insist they’re the worst person in the world so you end up comforting them and telling them they DO deserve a second chance – so watch out for that too.
Seriously, my grandfather beat my Nan for YEARS to the point where she literally had to put all their 8 kids in state foster care in order to escape him. People like this don’t change, and they don’t stop after the first time. Spare yourself a life of misery and take your mother’s advice – leave after the first blow.
This doesn't sound like the kind of person worth fighting for.
Move on and leave your wife. They never change. Please im begging you. Think of your kids, do you even want to risk that?
ok that old chestnut.
Your gut is telling you the truth here – listen to it
Op, you need to acknowledge something very important here:
1) She doesn’t need to be consciously manipulating and abusing you in order be manipulating and abusing you. She doesn’t need to have consciously bad intentions toward you in order to suck you in and pull you under.
2) Being a victim of mental health problems and being an manipulator are not mutually exclusive things.
3) if you can’t see a way out of this relationship without absolute disaster, than essentially you are in a toxic, manipulative relationship.
Op, you need to acknowledge something very important here:
1) She doesn’t need to be consciously manipulating and abusing you in order be manipulating and abusing you. She doesn’t need to have consciously bad intentions toward you in order to suck you in and pull you under.
2) Being a victim of mental health problems and being an manipulator are not mutually exclusive things.
3) if you can’t see a way out of this relationship without absolute disaster, than essentially you are in a toxic, manipulative relationship.
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I don't want to abruptly end our relationship. She hasn't said anything about it, but I know I'm not doing the right thing. That's why I want to say sorry and fix things before it's too late.
Nothing. You do nothing. Your dad doesn’t feel bad for his behavior; it’s just that the stakes of the situation have shifted away from him and he doesn’t like it. He has no intention of apologizing or owning his behavior and ensuring he changes it. He merely wants to meet his grandchild while continuing to treat you sister and BIL poorly.
Your sister has made her choice and deserves to be respected. Failure to do that completely means you shouldn’t have a relationship with her family either.
She had breast implants when she turned 18. She works out 3-4 hours a day. She has done her lips and cheekbones is what I can see and I don’t know the rest
Honestly, I think it shouldn't be a question. He should have been offended and disgusted with an automatic block and deleted. Don't let her gaslight you and if she tries just spin the narrative, ask her if there's no such thing as girl code?
I'll give her a call soon im just so embarrassed to air our something weird like this.
I also hope she can get a better living situation. It just drives me freaking nuts that everyone will ignore crappy behavior from parents and claim it's the kids' fault.
I don't know why so many people are so stuck on parents only being parents for so long. Oh, you're this old? You are a burden living with your parents. They shouldn't have to be parents anymore. You need to gtfo. So what if you make their expenses lighter by paying your fair share of the bills. So what if you do regular work on house maintenance (raising your parents' property value) when you're not breaking your back for a paycheck. It's still their house, and you are an interloper that should have been tossed out at 18.
Like Jesus people wtf is wrong with you?
Yea maybe that was his excuse he was giving everyone on why he was leaving. Yea it might’ve not been for 2 more hours but it sounded like he didn’t want to be there any longer and tried to find a easy way out without sounds and looking like an Ash**
Y’all are in your 30s and have been together 3 years and she ends up crying at the end asking what you’re doing in your relationship?
Is she maybe upset that this surprising grand gesture didn’t end in an engagement?
I would not be comfortable with my boyfriend discussing his sex life with another woman, or another woman discussing her sex life with him. That's crossing a line of respect in my opinion. I don't think you are being unreasonable for having hesitations about this “friendship.”
Honestly I don't even know what to say. He needs therapy and I feel like your relationship will never be the same.
I’m so sorry that this is happening to you. I e been in your shoes. My marriage didn’t survive it, but perhaps you can.
As I read your post i immediately started thinking “I hope she doesn’t think that this is her fault”
And then there you were, thinking that something that you did or didn’t do caused this to happen. It’s absolutely not your fault. Nothing anybody else does is another person’s fault. This is all on the two of them. They are being selfish a-holes.
Praying for you and your family. I know how difficult this must be.
How is it so wrong if she's done the same though? Also why does it matter if we've only been dating 10 months the picture was taken while we were dating
I would be very sad to end this perfectly good relationship
You don't have a perfectly good relationship. You've been together for 3,5 years, living together for 2 years & still haven't learned to communicate openly. You don't tell him that you cannot afford paying half of the bills, you haven't told him that you find it unfair that he makes double your money & you want him to pay more than you do & you haven't had an actual honest conversation about marriage & how you want your finances in a marriage to be handled.
You know that he does not want children but that you most likely do want children. That alone is a huge issue that cannot be compromised on. Do you really think that having a ring on your finger & lots of legal papers signed will change anything in your situation?
These are the things that need to be solved before planning a marriage.
so he’s misogynistic because he has boundaries?
“My wife recently shaved her head. I thought it was a short term thing, like she just wanted a fresh start on her hair, but now she keeps shaving it. The thing is, I find her gross and creepy now. When she is bald, she looks like a creepy monster. I told her that I find her hair style creepy, and I would have thought she would have backed off by now.
I am not normally someone who uses sex as a weapon, but I told her that while she refuses to grow her hair out, I won't have sex with her. She thinks I am joking, and is now teasing me around the house. Kind of like 'I'll grow my hair out if you throw out your collectibles' kind of thing. How do I bring this up to her in a way that might actually make her care?”
I’m confused. Has he been honest about anything in this relationship? And if there’s been infidelity issues already, I’m assuming his but correct me if I’m wrong, the fact that he’s immediately defensive is an absolute red flag.
There is no harm in consulting with an estate planning lawyer to protect yourself, your husband and your father. I expect that even with you owning the accounts outright in the event of your father passing, you can probably count on your brother to sue you over the estate.
I will never forgot her face – but I didn’t recognise them in photos ?
Yah, run. Listen to your gut on this one, he’s not your person. Why invest more in him?
I’m very sorry you two are in this position, but please do not do this.
There’s really no safe way to punch someone and knock them out. It’s not like in movies. A knock out happens because of brain trauma against the skull. Do it wrong and it will cause a concussion. Do it very wrong and it will cause death. If you hit someone in the head and they’re out for hours, they probably won’t wake up again.
She’s better off taking a sleep aid to knock her out, because a punch isn’t going to stop the side effects of eating the food either. It doesn’t matter what makes her unconscious, her body is still going to try to void the food. If it were me, I’d use a sleeping pill, find a way to keep my head tilted so I don’t choke, and sleep on a tarp on the bathroom floor for ease of cleanup.
You don't “have to” anything. You can continue with him, you can drop him if he makes you uncomfy.
Personally I wouldn't stay with a person where the phrase “tinder masturbating habit” applies. Dunno wtf a tinder masturbating habit is but it sounds not-great.
This is a ridiculous thing for your husband to do, especially knowing you'd like to go away together with him while you're pregnant. $2,000 on a trip alone with some woman he's friends with live!? It's an absolute nonsense and you need to put your foot down.
It is ok for you not to be ok with this, it's an entirely bizarre thing for a married man to be doing, especially with a pregnant wife at home who needs a relaxing break away with her husband. Any rational person can see how ridiculous this is an what an horrible position this puts you in. If your husband is resistant when you speak to him again, show him this post and everyone's comments.
Honestly, wtf is he doing? I'm stunned at the complete selfishness and lack of empathy for the woman who is literally building his child with her body. His focus should be completely on you, not some random lady he wants to run off and holiday with. Jesus Christ.
He’s had 3 years.
If he hasn’t noticed up until now, why waste more time on him pointing it out.
Yes well said.
I didn’t read the text, ngl, because when I read your ages I thought PREDATOR.
Which normal 40 year old dates a 22 yo other than to manipulate and control her? He should be dating someone in the range of 33-40, closer to his age.
Good riddance girl
She could have a UTI. it shows as dementia and then they get a kidney infection and die.
Please call someone for help
Ma'am I unfortunately do not have this document on me, I usually carry it along with my registration.
Seriously though ? Dating is so messy in this age and sounds so rough, I am happy I don't have to deal with all of this.
I have slow internet and I was half way through singing My sweet home Alabama before it loaded…
This isn’t a difference of politics. This is a difference of morals and integrity.
You need to move out, buddy. I know you are saving up but your living situation is a real concern. Mostly I'm concerned what your parents have done to your social skills and ability to relate to people in real life. Try to find a real community to join. Church. Martial arts gym. Hiking groups. Somewhere you can practice your social skills. Life is not what we plan. It's how we react to what is actually happening.
Good for you for giving it up. Priorities my friend. Good luck with it all.