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He can't unfuck his exes. With his logic, he's twice as bad as you.
Dont waste your precious time with her. Break up
Like everything else, it depends. A stable job/career matters more. $$$ matters more.
Why are you guys together if you keep having fights like this?
you’re wasting his time, tell him and then f off from his life dimple
Yeah I would also break up with someone for acting like you did.
However, he gets paid more than I do! This man has a better job than me, and he is not poor whatsoever!!!
So what's exactly your point? Different people have different love languages, different people care differently about gifts, different people have different budgets for gift-giving.
Have you ever sat down together and talked about expectations around gifts? My husband and I earn good money, and most of our Christmas gifts to each other are usually < 20.- We both love handwritten cards though..
. It makes me angry but I’m not sure if I can be mad or I just sound ungrateful. I’m not asking for a Gucci bag or something absurd, and I gave him a list of things I wanted for Christmas and the most expensive thing on there was $50, there were $15 items on my list too. I go out of my way to buy him so many nice things, food, stuff for his new apartment like utensils and soup when he’s sick.
You clearly have very different point of views towards gifts. Why not sit down together and actually talk about it in general? Agree on a budget, see if you can get on the same page.
Because some people keep back ups in case it doesn't work out with the main person. And she has left, she's soft ghosted you. You're the one holding on.
Ok hold up, you asked about it in passing while watching White Lotus (that show sucks by the way), she said yes but you're not really into open relationships? Welp, sounds like you juuuuuuust cracked open Pandora's Box a little bit by doing that. You might want to have a talk with your girlfriend though and tell her how you ACTUALLY feel about the topic of open relationships.
Why don’t you simply give your sister half of whatever she’s buying for the niece ??♀️??♀️
personally. while taking the high road is , well… probably a nice feeling, sometimes you need to go the same route as them. Take it to facebook. Something like
“I chose to do it this way, because ex-fiancé and his family decided to do it this publicly. It is always sad when a relationship ends. But even sadder when the ex-fiancé has the AUDACITY to demand the engagement ring back that belonged to my mother. Hell will freeze over before i'll give into his or his gold digging family's demands and hand over MY MOTHERS ring. (how about you ask your precious son for the CC statement when he allegedly “bought” the ring?) Let me tell you just one thing, Ex-fiancé and his family. If you keep harrassing me and my family, then you better lawyer up.”
This sounds a lot like my situation with my ex-husband. He would play video games all the time and I was left to do all the chores, cooking, cleaning, finances, and raising our child. I eventually went to therapy myself because he refused marriage counseling. My therapist said I was “over-functioning” in the relationship. This sounds like you. As difficult as it may be, you have to be real and honest with yourself about what you want from life for yourself and if what you’re doing now is part of it. There is absolutely no shame in putting your needs first and knowing your value as a person. Best of luck. You are not alone.
NewlyMarried, your W's abusive behaviors cannot be excused — but perhaps can be explained, especially if you would speak to a psychologist in your city. They may be due to her having very weak control over her own emotions (i.e., a lack of emotional skills she had no chance to learn in childhood). My exW has that problem. If it is an issue for your W, you likely would be seeing 4 other red flags.
The first is a strong abandonment fear. I therefore ask whether, a few months into your relationship, she started showing strong jealousy over harmless events involving other women — or tried to isolate you away from your close friends and family members? She would view your spending time with friends/family as your choosing them over her. Moreover, she usually would hate being alone by herself.
Second, you would be seeing her rely heavily on black-white thinking, wherein she tends to categorize some people as “all good” (“with me”) or “all bad” (“against me”) and will recategorize them — in just a few seconds — from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor infraction.
Because she also uses B-W thinking in judging HERSELF, she would rarely acknowledge making a mistake or having a flaw. Doing so would imply, in her mind, she is “all bad.” She thus would blame nearly all misfortunes/mistakes on you and view herself as “The Victim.”
Further, to “validate” her victim status, she would keep a detailed mental list of every infraction/mistake you ever did (real or imagined) and would not hesitate to pull out the entire list to defend herself in the most insignificant disagreement with you. Moreover, this B-W thinking also would be evident in her frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like “you ALWAYS…” and “you NEVER….”
Third, you generally would not see her directing her anger at casual friends, coworkers, or total strangers. She usually gets along fine with them. Rather, her outbursts and temper tantrums almost exclusively would be directed against a close loved one (e.g., against you, a sibling, or her parents).
Fourth, you are convinced that she truly loves you. But you frequently see her flipping, on a dime, between Jekyll (loving you) and Hyde (devaluing or hating you) — often making you feel like you're walking on eggshells around her. Such flips would occur in a few seconds in response to some minor thing you say or do. A few hours or days later, she can flip back just as quickly.
NewlyMarried, have you been seeing strong occurrences of all 4 of these red flags?
He probably thinks you want someone else, or that you'd want to open up the relationship
Sorry that the truth hurts.
So he can tell you that you know you cheated and that’s why you want your baby tested.
You aren't giving advjce
I would pay money to get the daughter’s anonymous Reddit post telling her side of the story. There is definitely a missing component here
Ask your daughter to read this, and have her reply. Christie Brinklie and Billy Joel's daughter didn't hate her. It's not all about looks. There's more going on, and you won't know what it is until she tells you.
And ppl wonder why the bigots like to say “if I try educate myself, I get yelled at”
I truly think OP is trying but the response they are getting.. Some ppl would weaponise that as an excuse to not learn further.
Right now I’m looking at him telling you you didn’t initiate enough and then that you dry up too much…that’s hurtful and selfish. Or when you brought up the lack of it happening and he just said deal with it. You have some rose tinted glasses on
Life me? What does that mean?
… depression is not a jail free card, if her depression is bad to a point where she‘s unable to live! her own life and additionally influencing the people around her as well, and she‘s not able and hasn’t been able to work through it herself, she needs to get professional help.
Being depressed or any mental illness for that fact is not an excuse to use other people and treat them like crap, without even as much as an effort to make it up to them or at least get to a place where they‘re able to do so.
You said went to visit your family & your comment history says that you were talking with someone else to start a romantic relationship.
I don't know what kind of support you expected but it is apparent that you are not a great wife at all & I hope you remove yourself from these good people's lives immediately.
Calling me princess is not the insult you think it is and the term dude might have been gendered in the past, like 60+ years ago past, but it’s now widely accepted to be a gender neutral term. Touch grass.
I realise that I cannot force her to see it the way I see it and with hormones being in the midst it is just a difficult situation all around.
Sorry, where in there does he say, “I haven’t got the foggiest what’s going on with her. Women and their hormones, amirite?”
So he implied he'd be okay with marriage is that's what you wanted? So either you misunderstood or he has reneged on this offer to you.
There are lots of comments saying if you knew he was anti-marriage you're to blame for wanting it, however if he led you to believe that he might go along with it for you even though it wasn't his thing? Then he either said that hoping you'd falling with his ideas.
Honestly, that he said no but still claim life partners, that's just a no.
You can't change his mind, he's going to double down on the no marriage answer. You can't control what he chooses, only what you do.
Your choices are stay with a guy who will NEVER marry you. Accept that now. Let it roll around in your head. He will not ever marry you.
Or, option B, accept that he led you on with the belief he might be ok to do it on paper for you, but then decided you just weren't as important to him as his belief he doesn't want to get married, and you choose yourself and leave him, just as he has chosen himself and said no marriage ever.
I would leave and find the guy who is right for you, he is not it.
You think most people who live! in a city filled with countless homeless people would disagree?
I lived In a blue dot city. So progressive. Especially with all the tents and pan handlers on every corner. Couldn't walk down the road with my GF without people crowding us begging for money and trying to get her to open her purse.
Oh and working on traffic systems during that time meant working on the side of the road. Getting stuck with a fucking needle was a lot of fun and having to get rushed to the hospital to make sure I was OK was even better.
But ya. Philosophy. Give me a break.
Yeah that line about “he eventually gave up so I thought he understood” tells me that he actually did understand and he was trying to decide if he was still interested in a relationship where sex would never be on the table.
This has got to be a troll.
Yeah it does, and it should be approached with the same seriousness and fore thought that adoption is. Sperm donation is what me and my husband chose, and frankly the more I learn about it the harder I find it to try third time. The lack of regulations are shocking. The lack of protection for donation conceived people and receptive parents is shocking.
I would have to say that if my husband presented me with a list it would be divorce straight away. This is not about satisfying his needs alone. Plus, you are dead right, it is manipulation and control.
No, I said he isn’t judgmental. He knows the Bible was rammed down her throat. I’ve never asked if she’s apologized. It’s none of my business. He can choose whatever friends he wants. He lives his life and let’s others live! theirs.
It makes perfect sense.
You didn't cheat, you were raped.
Jesus. What a bitch. Take accountability and stop being a victim.
You ain't one
It doesn’t sound like this guy is “Mr. Perfect” if you have broken up 77 times in only 2 years. Someone checking off all your boxes doesn’t mean they are perfect, and oftentimes what boxes we want checked aren’t as important as the character of the person as a whole. It seems as though he wants out of the relationship and is just using this allergic reaction as an excuse, knowing you’ll go along with it and keep going back. You shouldn’t be having constant breakups in a long term relationship in your 30s. I suggest you add kindness and maturity to the list for the next guy you date.
A lot of times this kind of homophobia is just the “default setting”. Like, this is how they were raised and they don’t understand anything else and they don’t want to because even thinking about it makes them uncomfortable. It’s not your job to fix that, but if you have the emotional bandwidth to spare there are ways to push back that won’t put them on the defensive. That’s why I went with kinda toned-down language in my suggestion above – It sounds like you’re not trying to drive them away or demonize them – you just want to be treated the same as everybody else. I think if you keep the focus on that there’s a good chance that over time you might be able to get through to them that you’re not some kind of deviant weirdo – you’re just their daughter and deserve the same treatment and love as their other kids.
A lot of times this kind of homophobia is just the “default setting”. Like, this is how they were raised and they don’t understand anything else and they don’t want to because even thinking about it makes them uncomfortable. It’s not your job to fix that, but if you have the emotional bandwidth to spare there are ways to push back that won’t put them on the defensive. That’s why I went with kinda toned-down language in my suggestion above – It sounds like you’re not trying to drive them away or demonize them – you just want to be treated the same as everybody else. I think if you keep the focus on that there’s a good chance that over time you might be able to get through to them that you’re not some kind of deviant weirdo – you’re just their daughter and deserve the same treatment and love as their other kids.
How sure are you it was her? What if he just asked her about you? My advice would be to politely decline.
what? most people spritz their clothes with perfume/spray before they go out
Couldn’t afford an a3 but ive been tuning my golf , another thing thats changed thag i became into cars
Guys/people can be surprising. All you have to do is don’t become an ex.
he’s in for a surprise when he wants something from them later on. and they always do.
Well don’t know how custody works there….. I hope everything works out for you! I hope they have a fair system so he has to support with both time and money
My Gram buried 5 husbands (first married at 14) and everyone was like “wow, you're bad luck!” and she'd be like “It's not my fault they had a bad ticker and I'm THAT good in bed.” *waggles eyebrows* lol
That's not how they passed, but it got people to shut up. 😉
Yes tell her