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I would'nt worry about it my dude it probably just has never happened to her before where the guy has had any issues. As she gets older she will realize this happens now and again for whatever reasons
Girl….break the fuck up
For custody/money, you obviously need to get your own lawyer. Consults are free.
As for how to leave, it's best to not say anything until all your i's are dotted and t's are crossed. Open your own bank account if you don't have your own and don't tell him. Find your own place and don't tell him. Move your stuff out and find your own support for childcare and don't tell him. Get a job, any job, if you don't have one and don't tell him. It would also be good to have a custody and child support arrangement drafted up at this point but I don't know exactly how it works so that's why you gotta talk to lawyers and hire one. Once you're actually ready to cut the string, tell him you're leaving and direct all communications via lawyers. Don't engage him on anything except for kid-related stuff like school pick ups, trade offs etc. And lastly but not least, find a good therapist to talk to. Reconnect with family and friends if you need to as well.