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Audrey, 29 y.o.
Location: CA, United States
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Leave. Your value is far higher than him.
He is not going to change for you, he has proved that. Can you picture yourself in this same situation next year? If you want an honest committed relationship you need to leave this relationship and open yourself up to finding that. You are worthy of a real loving committed relationship. Good luck to you.
Not the weirdest thing I’ve read today.
Authority can be attractive.
That would be so incredibly painful. If he’s having sex with people that are in that much pain….
You should ask her point blank why she would say this.
What kinda life do you have that you have time and energy for sex 3 times a day? Get a hobby, a job, something.
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I think you should let him enjoy his relationship. Telling him about your feelings when he's already happy with someone else is only going to bring drama, plus you'd be disrespecting him and his gf and she would most likely make him stop talking to you. You had a lot of time to figure out how you feel and had the chance to tell him. I feel like suddenly realizing you want him when you see him happy with someone else is kind of a bad way to come to terms with your feelings. Good luck.
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Thank you for answering. That’s exactly how I’m feeling.
I'm very glad those good women bailed on him.
Your arms are too short to box with God – or drug addiction. This is above your efforts to help.
Change your locks, get STD tested, and move on OP. Don’t end up in Hell chasing after her.
I don’t think it’s appropriate for either side to just wear underwear in front of a teen. There is also a power imbalance due to age so the daughter probably isn’t being honest with you. Wearing shorts and a t shirt is fine and reasonable.
just because he is dealing with trama does not give him the right to traumatize you
YES this 100%. Its really sad that he has such terrible trauma and I sincerely hope he gets the help he needs and finds peace. But being traumatized does not excuse traumatizing others. Him handling his trauma should not mean he gets to traumatize OP too.
How are her other hygiene habits? I don’t know why but it would be weird to me if someone showered regularly but just didn’t brush their teeth.
If it’s a relatively new change in her hygiene, I’d suspect something deeper like depression or something. Too many questions though.
Personally, I’ve been with my husband a long time, so I’d just say “hey did you brush your teeth today?” We works from home though, and if he wakes up late he forgets but will do it when he has a bathroom break or something.
It seems like most people here have been strongly advising cutting it off right now.
That's just reddit being reddit, I already knew what the comments would look like before reading them. Have a convo first, express how you feel, and see what she says before you get to that point
He’s just a stupid idiot, but don’t put it on your bf to fix him.
that’s rape
Your bf sounds a little unhinged
You have lost a friend, people grieve friendships all the tome, especially when they end so abruptly and horribly, for your brain it is almost as if that person had died, they don't exist anymore and that's a difficult reality to grapple with. Get support from your friends and family and take all the time you need to grieve
If your post history is the same guy (about 9 months ago) you said he punched you, choked you with a belt and walked you like a dog with the belt around your neck when you were upset with him flirting with other women. Then you need to get to someplace safe, away from him. He’s going to hurt you again or he will kill you. It’s just a matter of time. Please contact your family or friends to get you out of there.
Was literally not even trying to dig hey. I just wanted to see if OP responded to any comments without having to scroll and then i saw that… so it's a bit sus.. there are two deleted posts.. but still comments she posted in those posts and they all indicate a relationship with her 55yo boss. Whos she works as an assistant for.
Read the other comments from commenters in the same post .. and it's very dodgy..
Was literally not even trying to dig hey. I just wanted to see if OP responded to any comments without having to scroll and then i saw that… so it's a bit sus.. there are two deleted posts.. but still comments she posted in those posts and they all indicate a relationship with her 55yo boss. Whos she works as an assistant for.
Read the other comments from commenters in the same post .. and it's very dodgy..
NSFW flair please
It's naked to say, the way her trauma has affected her, she's often doesn't clue in that she's doing things until well after. But what happened with joining her with the psychedelic was way too thought out (perhaps overthought) by the both of us, there's no way she was on autopilot for that. She had suggested the idea of me joining in on a trip the night before – apparently having physical contact while on the stuff can help ground the emotional energy way faster, and make it far easier to regulate the nervous system. We waited until the next day after we had a chance to read through a chapter in a book on the subject to get an idea of what might happen, so it certainly wasn't a spur of the moment, absent minded decision. Plus, as we were reading more and more about the possibility of sexual arousal occurring, she seemed to get even more excited to try it, making lots of flirty comments (“you're going to have a fun time moving me around”). She did not shy away from the fact that her entire body, genitals included, was on the table for physical contact, and that a lot of the sensations we might experience were supposed to be what great sex was like.
I feel like an asshole for saying this, but I've suspected for a while based on things she's said about her past (and to a certain extent she's confirmed) that she's attracted to men to a certain extent, but she closed off that part of herself and retreated into a fully lesbian identity to cope with various sexual, emotional, and physical abuses from her family while growing up. She spent her early life being treated like garbage, and found it easier to survive by resigning herself to being treated as such than stand up for herself. Given her homophobic family, I suspect that included taking all their bigotry, beatings, and molestations, and internalizing it until she “became” the lesbian they despised. She's ultimately the only one who can figure out who she is, but I've seen her go through so many motions and not get anywhere, it's absolutely heartbreaking to watch her when it's so obvious she's not living her authentic self. Regardless of whatever intent she may have for me, I love her deeply – not because of anything potentially sexual or romantic, but because I appreciate and accept her for who she is, and want to see her flourish as she recovers from her past.
Your best approach would be to not date people with baby daddies.