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This is a very kind response.
The higher earner usually ends up paying spousal support lol. It's a very short term marriage so it would be maybe for a year and a half, couple years max, but being the high earner/contributor doesn't get you more out of the other party – it makes you pay them more.
You've been on one date and you want him to cancel his cruise and lose $500?? And you're talking about how you'll be texting him while he's on that cruise if he goes??
Sorry but no. That's overkill. This was planned before he even knew you existed. If it makes you uncomfortable, don't date him again. But telling he he should cancel is a serious overstep.
You have to, if you're talking to 5 women, 3 might ghost you. You might get 2 dates and only one you might see more than once.
that’s really weird of her to go into that much detail without you asking. if the roles were reversed i’m sure she wouldn’t be happy.
Not normal.
“hey,I have had a sexual past.” OK,
specific description of “how the dick curved upwards when doggy on molly” wayy too much.
There is something else she's going to say. Pay attention.
He doesn’t need nudes. It’s not a need. He’s being a manipulative jerk.
It’s been 4 years and your parents want their 26 year old daughter to not date anyone? Your parents are being incredibly controlling in a way that will damage her future chances at a normal life.
Still, it’d probably be best if your sister talk to a therapist and start to work some of this out for herself. None of us strangers on Reddit know the whole story. Only she does, really.
Okay, I will Show her this. I hope she understands English, if not, I will translate it for her. I really hope you and her can help me, to finally get some peace into my life. Thank you so much for your input
You know she has agency in those situations and can say no, right? And if it’s not that, if your fear of her getting raped is so all-encompassing that an activity as mundane as staying at a hotel after a party is making you nervous, I think you should consider unpacking that and speaking to a professional.
As a psychologist, once he stopped paying for her services, she literally should not have any kind of interactions with him that weren’t in the workplace and 100% professional for AT LEAST two years.
Their little coffee dates are her breaking the law, their little cutesy texts are her violating her license to practice, every friendly interaction they had is just a small part of what we know. A crappy psychologist willing to do this could have any kind of personal relationships with their other patients, and it needs to be seriously looked into. She needs to report this, her husband is not the only patient she ever had and they all deserve proper care.
Thank you so much, I appreciate your time, I really like the idea of asking if she wants to talk about it now or later, that will help a lot, she’s trying to work on her problems and is going to therapy and is actively getting better but her mom and her have a lot of weekly issues that she has to talk about in therapy so talking about our relationship in her therapy doesn’t get talked about much, her issues with her mom are definitely more important at the moment, I plan on asking her to talk tonight after work and listening to her side, and I will bring up those points that you said, I’ll post a comment about how it goes/ her side thank you so much for your advice
Well you can try a strike. But it will be a war.
One point in my marriage my husband was blind to the fact that I was the one making half the money while also doing 80-90% of all domestic care including taking care of the children, while being his servant, secretary, lover. I begged for help from him. Sure he always said nice things like thank you. But didn’t change his ways. He really was a great lover and great at playing with the kids, always went to work. Just all around nice husband, but old fashion in the fact that I should run the house, children and take care of him. Working was a side hobby ? that paid half of everything. Boy was he blind.
So finally after a fight of I didn’t do x. Everytime he said you didn’t do x. I just keep repeating neither did you, if you don’t like it then do it.
Then I said after several of these fights, I’m done, I’m doing this and this and you can do it the rest and shut the hell up.
So I stopped making food for him, I stopped cleaning up after him, I just stopped. He really thought I was going to divorce him. He also didn’t do jack. For a good 90 days it was a total train wreck. He ran out of underwear several times and would be pissed. My answer was not my problem! I have underwater and the kids do to, you are a grown ass man wash them yourself. Car didn’t get an oil change do it yourself, missed your doctors appointment to fucking bad.
Finally he opened up to his dad about the issue, his dad told him what a stupid husband he was being. It took him about another month before he waved the white flag.
He messed up, and grow up. It worth the struggle. Is he perfect nope but it’s much better.
It would only get you in trouble if you were egging her on and telling her to do it. Other than that, no.
But it is not your job to save her, as cruel as that may sound. Tell her you won't be manipulated like this and block her. Then report her to the non-emergency line and tell them what she said. They will perform a wellness check on her.
First thing, you must see a lawyer.
Then see if you can eventually find work near your family/ friends. If you sell the house you'll have some money to help you out. I'm sorry for the dogs, but you cannot go on living like this
Sorry I didn't mean my post to come across as chastising. I am kind of direct in how I speak and the tone doesn't translate well sometimes. I'm glad you are looking at your own behavior here. When I say to give freely, I mean to give without any expectation of a response. In reading your post, it seems like you don't expect material things in response, but you seem to definitely be looking for some hefty acknowledgment in terms of gratitude to validate what you've given.
I approach gift giving like this – I give without any expectation of a response. If someone isn't grateful for that gift, I don't give them things like that anymore or I talk to them about what kinds of things they would want instead. Or sometimes I just understand that there are times when people will be more or less thoughtful. If i find myself resenting someone for the reaction (or non-reaction) they had to my gift, then I check myself, because I'm giving expecting to get something from it (emotional validation, etc).
Let me get this straight, he is soo caring about his daughter he continues to sleep with the woman he claims is neglecting her??? Take this wonderful opportunity and leave that man before he forced a kid on you as well. The trash took itself out.
Just divorce him. He's abusive and toxic.
He didn't say he was going to use the baby as a bargaining chip.