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That would all be gaslighting. Look he actually did you a favor and take all the things he said about you to actually be true about himself. Yes you were probably deceived for most of the 3 months BUT at least you know now and three months is not so long. Tinder is great for people like that.
sounds like hes feeling old and like hes running out of time and wants to bag you while you like him. i would say that you probably shouldnt have left him thats a pit extreme. just talk it out ask him questions on why hes so eager to get married and have kids. asking the questions that may shake things up sounds like it would be a good thing in this situation. i mean if you dont know why he wants them why go through with it. also try and understand his view on the answer he gives, if hes telling the truth that is. i hope you two find common ground and that you understand his needs and he respects your bounds.
Is it mental or physical illness?
Are you receiving treatment? Why did you quit instead of sick leave?
What did he say about quitting your job and your illness?
What is your recovery timeline?
Break up. His trust was always fragile, and now it's gone. The worst thing is that he likes it that way. It's not going to get better.
Yeah, you are the one who caused a family rift by dragging an argument about something what had nothing to do with you. Your sister doesn't have to share things like that with you, it's her choice. You made it all about you and caused an argument at home, where you knew your parents can overhear and that will cause problems, but all you cared was you and your bruised ego.
Of course there is no doubt your parents are the shittiest people here, but you need to take a look in the mirror. Not everything is about you and you don't need to know everything. Next time when you find out that someone didn't share something, just accept it and say 'thank you for sharing it and trusting me now', instead of making it all about you
Just for your own sanity, record the screaming/sex. You don't even need to confront them over it. Just whenever they gaslight you, you can turn it on for a quick sec to know youre not going crazy.
Conversely, if you record it then hear nothing thats no good and you'll need to figure out what to do.
That is my hope. In fact, that is currently how I may try and open the door about all this. Just haven't had the chance to talk to her in person yet.
Those CPS reports were “unfounded”? And resulted in nothing?
Ignore the posts about being needy. It is not unreasonable to expect to be invited to her group's things at least once in a while… especially if there are other couples included in the ranks. To be honest, it seems more odd that you are NOT being invited because unless something else is going on, you would think these people that are all so tight knit would want to know more about her boyfriend.
This stuff was all before you were together? He doesnt seem to give you a reason to not trust him. Talk things out. Find a good time and tell him that you want to clarify stuff from his past and how he views things. Dont point fingers or accuse him. Be open and vulnerable about it and I'm sure you can talk this out.
Sleeping habits are habits. If you want to go to bed at the same time as her, it's something you can do, but you have to work to commit to it. It's tough to adjust at first, but you can absolutely change your behaviour and go to bed at the same time, but the only way it'll really stick is if you force yourself to her schedule even when she's not sleeping with you.
Though if you don't WANT to adapt to her schedule, that's understandable too. My partner and I don't have the same sleeping schedule so we sleep separately, but that's not realistic for most people.
If someone woke me up in the middle of the night simply because they wanted a kiss, I'd be pretty upset too. The thing is, while you have a right to time and attention from your boyfriend, you don't have the right to time and attention on demand regardless of what else is going on. I'm sorry that your abandonment issues were triggered, but it is not your boyfriends responsibility to help you work through your traumas. That's your therapist's job. Just because you are triggered doesn't mean he did something wrong.
Frankly, it sounds to me like a crime has occurred been committed. If she was impaired, could she have freely given consent? Not only is his brother a loser but possibly worse than that.
You're so wrong in this situation. You're basically asking your partner to do living if you die. Grow up.
Why did he ask for advice?
Well, one reason I can think of is that he was on the fence wrt whether or not he should break up with his girlfriend. In that context, giving him advice that would lead to a breakup is as valuable as advice that allows him to overcome these issues and stay together.
It's not so much how to force one particular outcome over another as it is to illuminate all viewpoints so that OP may make as fully educated a decision as possible.
To my way of thinking, the infidelity is the minor part of it. She's demonstrated her loyalty in the time since. That early infidelity can be chalked up to not wanting to put all her eggs in one basket in the early stages of a relationship. Once she committed to OP, she jumped in with both feet and has been nothing but loyal to him since then.
Alright…
Now, the second issue…
As for how she sees him as a sexual partner, that is open to some question and some interpretation. If this were only an FWB arrangement, OP would be in the clear. That's because the only needs being met in an FWB arrangement are sexual needs. If OP wasn't producing good results, such an arrangement wouldn't be permitted to persist.
However, this is not an FWB arrangement. This is a multifaceted, committed, romantic relationship. It has a multiplicity of variables and dimensions to be evaluated by. Perhaps in its totality, OP's girlfriend sees him as merely adequate sexually, but enough so that when added to all the other qualities he brings to the table, committing to him was a no-brainer.
This doesn't mean that OP must accept a subpar sexual component to his relationship just because his girlfriend has. Here's the rub. If she feels that the relationship, her relationship, is in jeopardy as a consequence of OP's line of questioning, she may feel compelled to say anything to OP that preserves that relationship. This may be the case even to the point of outright lying to him as a truth that ends a relationship is less valuable than a lie that preserves it.