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How do I explain to him I am not taking everything seriously?
I'm sorry OP. I just can't imagine why you would be with someone who's so mean and nasty. Of course I'm sure he must have some good qualities, but based on your post, a good response might be that you are taking SOME things seriously – as you're seriously heading for an exit.
Trying to puff up your ego more like.
When am I going to get it into my head that no matter how much I think I can’t read anything worse than a previous horror of a post, there is always something worse lurking around the corner!
Your boyfriend is too old to be acting like this.
So, let me get this straight. She blamed YOU…for her hooking up with some rando? Dude. No. Just…no. If your instincts are screaming at you—listen to them and walk away.
Not buying it. You move on and then you see other people, not the other way around. She’s saying you made it difficult to leave but evidently not too difficult to cheat. Notice a trend here? None of this is her fault. Has she taken ANY responsibility for her actions?
There are no reasons to cheat, just excuses. She’s telling you she’s a coward and cheat and yet wants to blame you. Cheating isn’t a solution to a bad marriage, divorce or counseling is. If this is such a bad marriage in her eyes, she won’t mind when you divorce her. Let her on-line with her delusions and move on. Maybe someday she’ll understand she screwed up, not you.
He doesn’t need a friend to confide in, he needs a mental health professional.
Well not really. He doesn’t get the girl and he hasn’t worked on himself now he probably just feels like shit and gets nothing for it.
If you shoot for the moon even if you miss you land amongst the stars.
If this was male strippers at a private function then anything goes and it likely wasn't just a nipple. Move on.
Np. Here’s an afterthought:
If he went from “should have stood up for yourself” to “shouldn’t have bought the stereotypical items,” those two responses have something in common. They’re both ways of saying you had some control in this situation. That there’s an easy solution.
That’s not true. Standing up for yourself has its own cost and risks. Skipping items you want to buy would suck, so there’s a cost there too. And staying quiet sucks in a different way. There’s no easy solution where you can control the racism you experience without paying some price.
He may not get that. He may want this to be simpler and easier than it is. I don’t mean on a conscious level that he’s necessarily aware of. But there may be a part of him that resists the randomness of racism, the constant threat of it, and the energy that goes into dealing with it.
So technically she could’ve requested $4 from her lol
It sounds like a hassle enough! Sometimes phone companys will wave a few if you're being harassed like this and are wanting a restraining order too. I think… lol
And HOW DARE you say it's his fuckin ego. Women always think it's our ego. My god you've got a shit ton to learn about men as you know NOTHING.
I think your boyfriend is free to explore and do what he wants and I think you are free to set the boundaries you require for you to be in a relationship.
If those two things don't overlap then you move on. You can't force him and you shouldn't succumb to his pressure to force you.
I assume you also bathe the outer area of your self-cleaning vagina.
I really just hope people don’t let their partners’ aversions create or reinforce aversion to their own bodies, or cause anyone to tell themselves they don’t want something just because their partner isn’t able to enjoy it. That goes for all genders.
I’m glad you are happy with your current arrangement! Compatibility is key.
Low contact. Rare cordial chit chat but mostly just no reaction
These are REAL sensory issues. The term is sensory processing disorder. I am autistic and am exactly like ur bf wrt noise. In fact, I'd react even worse. It's not a joke, and I think he might be autistic too, but undiagnosed, because sensory processing disorder is one of the criteria of autism spectrum disorder. If it's not ASD, then just a sensory processing disorder.
Unfortunately there is no cure, the individual can only learn how to deal with the onslaught, or how to tone it down/avoid.
i avoided going out for most of my life. When I discovered noise cancelling headphones and loop earplugs, I found I could tolerate the outside world much better and I am much calmer, happier and I actually go out more.
If possible, consult a doctor/psychiatrist to get an autism assessment. Then ask for recommendations on approproate therapies to help him cope better.
You’re probably 23 or so and assuming you’re gonna get married soon. Good luck to you.
This wasn't intended to be a dig? Sure Jan.
I assumed you were younger because you seem to have an issue with the contention that getting married young is not smart
Context is vital. They are on the younger side for marriage these days, but they are the outlier in that they've already been together a decade. If they'd only been together a couple years my perspective would be different. I'm not sure why YOU are so hung up on people not getting married in their mid-late twenties. Statistically marrying at age 26 or older drastically improves your chance of a lasting marriage, and that gives them time to plan a wedding for a year or two and still fall into that window.
And again, I'm asking you to address the fact that he's lying, which you continually ignore. Why?
If you’re over 30 and not married, why is what I’m saying so upsetting to you?
I'm not upset. I disagree with you. There's a difference. You seem, frankly, a lot more upset about this issue than you seem to think I am.
So to sum it up, you and your sister are both broke, financially irresponsible “adults” who expect your 23 year old daughter to pay their way, sacrifice her room and car, and sleep on a couch to help take care of your broke asses. Holy crap. Who is the adult here?? Get your shit together.
Yeah because I get up with the baby all night and I’m exhausted. I have small gaps of time when the baby is napping to choose between sleep, shower, or cleaning.
Tell him you'd like to break up but will on-line together platonically until the end of the lease.
Don't marry her.