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Right exactly! But OP is claiming to know for certain he met the husband, so even if that’s the case, I would still be wary
Just cause she had sex 7 times in one day before doesn’t mean that’s regular practice for them. Talk to her about what your sexual needs are, and what’s the max you would have. If you’re not aligned, then it might not really work out.
So would he have no problems with you doing the same?
Ah yeah, I knew who I was responding to, just was trying to keep it about the numbers & what OP said previously, to not be overtly rude.
Fiancé doesn’t get to pull that shit. He needs to put on his big boy pants and communicate.
dating apps don’t work for me. i don’t know if i’m not attractive enough or if i’m too nice. shit don’t work man. this was my one and only opportunity now i’m gonna be alone forever.
1-2x/week is normal? What do you do the rest of the week? ??
When someone shows you who they are believe them. Women are left by men at alarming rates when they are sick. Men are left as well, but it's more common the other way around. I think you should find a better partner. Good ones so exist. You didn't take him wrong. He is just wrong.
I truly don't understand why some people are so stuck on the 9 years no contact bit, and especially why some people are trying to twist it into being suspicious when it inherently isn't.
I recently reconnected with a friend I hadn't been in contact with for 6 years because after we graduated college I lost her phone #, she didn't have social media, and she was dealing with serious mental illness. Now it's like those 6 years never happened.
I also have friends who reconnected with close friends after years due to similar circumstances, moves away, getting a new phone, family issues, and the like.
Life happens.
There are a multitude of reasons why someone may not be in contact with a good friend that don't involve nefarious, boundary-pushing intentions.
You feel severely underappreciated and disrespect over what? To the point you want to call it deep wounds.
Are you feeling underappreciated because she's not jumping for joy that it took like 4 years for you to do your share of household chores? Would you find it reasonable for her to feel underappreciated if she cheated on you for 4 years and then got mad that you weren't jumping for joy when she didn't check out another man?
You feel disrespected when she brings up divorce when you fuck up and remind her of who you were for the majority of your relationship aka a guy that didn't do his share of chores? Would you find it reasonable for her to feel disrespected when you bring up divorce when after she fucked around for years she brought up how hard another man was?
She was asking for the bare minimum and it took you FOUR YEARS yet you want her to sweep away all that and throw you a parade because you started pulling your weight for 18 months.
She's been feeling underappreciated and disrespected for most of your relationship. And she managed to suck it up and she was in the right.
You're in the wrong and you want that all ignored because hey you're finally doing your share. Like how dare she make you feel bad about how you treated her.
It's like how some couples can get over cheating while others cannot.
It's time to divorce. She's always gonna be angry and resentful over those FOUR YEARS of disrespect and underappreciated. There is nothing you can do to change that unless you even the score and for four years let her slack off like you did.
Her resentment is too big. She's going to feel disrespected and resentful about those four years.
She's may feel even more disrespected and resentful that it you can actually do your part you just chose not to. So as odd as that sounds you pulling your weight would make her madder because it just reminds her of all the times you didn't.
She's may feel resentful when you fuck up because it's going to remind her about how long you have fucked up for.
And then she may even feel resentful that she stayed with you this long and let herself be treated like shit.
My father won custody of me when I was 11. If the dads make more money, they can afford better lawyers.
I think she's still wary of me making female friends but I don't think she'd be too against it. Going on a trip without her, even with just guys would probably make her upset. To be honest I'm not sure how she'd react about the hobby. Also she's made it very clear porn is not allowed in this relationship. Are these things not normal?
Yeah I conceived on August 11 of last year (I was tracking ovulation so we were able to pinpoint it), tested positive on August 21, and my due date is April 29. Even June 1 is waaay too late for OP’s dates to match up.
These are pretty typical addict behaviours he's displaying. And as long as he continues to drink/use then it doesn't really matter what conversations you have, what boundaries you set, what promises he makes, it will continue because he doesn't have control of himself.
People who are addicted don't tend to think from a place of logic or empathy. You'll just keep having the same conversations over and over if you keep thinking that you can persuade him to understand where you're coming from and be different.
He won't be different, not unless he chooses to get help, and even then it's a long hard road, and it sounds like you've been through enough already. Especially since it doesn't sound like he's actually intending to get help. It might be time to just call it, and try and heal from all of this before he does more damage.
Do not ask for explanations to a liar. Can't trust what he says
Go to work the minute he gets home. He will have to learn how to take care of the child and home.
Waking up somebody to cry about an ex from over a year ago is just disrespectful. He clearly has no respect for your time or your boundaries. He's probably driven off his other friends by being overly needy and disrespectful. Because of your relationship with your BF you've gotten stuck dealing with his bullshit. Your BF's probably thrilled because it's not him anymore.
Unfortunately, this situation doesn't have a good fix. There is no way to back off from this “friendship” without it being awkward as hell. I'd tell him that he needs therapy and block him for awhile. Just don't go to your BF's house. Yeah it sucks, but it is what it is.
It tires him a lot where he tells me that he can't go any more rounds but I keep wanting for more
What do you mean by this? When he tells you that he doesn't want to have more sex, have you ever pushed his boundaries and tried to make him go for more rounds? If so, how often have you done that?
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To be completely transparent about this improvement; he has transitioned from name calling such as “you stupid fucking idiot”, “psycho path” “dumb stupid” etc.. to “I hate you so much”, “you’re the worst person I’ve ever met.” So, I’m not sure wether this truly amounts to improvement, but he seems to think so.
He’s recently complained that I act like I don’t like him, and has cried to me on the phone saying he doesn’t want to lose me because he fears neither of us will meet another partner as compatible as we are. Part of this convinces me and compels me to stay with him out of a similar fear, however I worry that I’m already too far into feeling disrespected by him to make the efforts he needs. I feel really bad that I might be truly hurting him now/acting cold, but whenever I try to change I just can’t help feeling like I’m settling for disrespect and subpar treatment. Outside of conflict, he’s very affectionate, funny, insightful, and our tastes are very in tune.
However I also feel like I can never voice a different opinion without him trying to change my mind or tell me I’ll “get it when I’m older.” Which feels incredibly patronizing. Whenever I disagree with him he can never respect that it’s my true opinion, he attributes it to some defect of my understanding. This is perhaps my largest issue as I feel like it strips me of my personal autonomy, and reiterates that he doesn’t respect my intelligence. He has even said on multiple occasions that I can’t “handle the fact that he’s smarter than me.”
I’ve said I don’t want to be in a relationship where there’s this kind of imbalance, of him operating under the assumption that I will always be of a lesser intelligence. It’s really hurtful and imo unfair. I don’t think it’s true, and I would really prefer a relationship where there is mutual respect/ admiration, and no one is quantifying the others intelligence. He says this is impossible and that he’s smarter than 99% of the population so it’s not his fault. I’m just really stuck because I have genuine strong feelings for him and worry I won’t find another partner that is as compatible in certain areas. He really seems to love me and cry’s to me about the potential of us breaking up. But I also don’t want to be a bad partner by continuing a relationship where I feel disrespected/ resentful. Just really at a loss right now and don’t know how to proceed.
He sounds annoyed because she’s being a hypocrite. He’s saying he does put in work for foreplay but she doesn’t do any of that for him…
This is when keeping money separate is helpful because what he’s doing is financial abuse.
Talk about a big purchase like a $1500 appliance? Sure. A fucking can of soup? No.
I’d split the finances up and do his/hers/ours where you each put in for the shared expenses based on % income and the rest goes to your personal accounts to spend as you see fit. If you aren’t working for some reason, I’d recommend you get a job so you have your own money.
I can’t imagine for one fucking second having to jump through the hoops you’re describing. Or expecting my partner to. It’s just abusive behavior straight up.
If I want to go buy a horse trailer or my partner wants a new to him boat, we just…do it. I’d never think to talk to him about the grocery budget because I pay for that. And he wouldn’t question me needing a new damned shirt.
This is crazy!
Yea i snapped at him today because he tried to blame me for him not wanting to have sex with me. He told me that i pull him every. Which way so he doesnt want to. I literally have severe adhd. What the heck. And yea its like all you can do is snap because youre so irritated you just want one thing and they cant give it to and or wont