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That's an extremely hurtful comment. What no one understands is many of us go undiagnosed for so long, and for my case I assumed it was normal behavior given the household I grew up in and it being my normal. Never once have I seen someone said it's an excuse, it's not, it's just a hint or explanation into something this person should probably get checked for. Everyone with personality disorders isn't a shit heal or a POS. We're just use to trauma and abuse and our bodies react with little to no control. We have no idea how to emotionally regulate and most of it feels almost uncontrollable. It's takes years and years of intense therapy to learn how to emotionally regulate but our insides still react the same.
I am a mother with three kids and a husband who is actively going through the process and I wish it upon no one. But I choose to get help and make myself better because I need and want to be for my kids. The people you are referring to are usually ones who use their disorders as an excuse to be an asshole. But most of us don't do that and most of us hate ourselves and hate feeling and being this way. We had absolutely no control over it. Most of us were significantly abused. We were conditioned to constantly be in fight or flight mode. It's seriously a lot of work. So your comment is gross and you need to research more before you talk shit.
This is why I come to reddit. You just never know what you’re gonna read.
I mean you had an affair with a married man. Are you sure you really want to explore this? Yes you were young but if you are really going to get to the bottom of this you should explore your role too.
I totally agree with your take. This is the first red flag I noticed from her and wanted to see if I'm going crazy or not.
Have you tried asking your doctor?
And, you know, using lube?
And not dating someone who was in high school on the day you were born?
I wouldn't do anything different at all with Dan. I do think that telling Elana that your group didn't know would be a good idea. Let her and/or Dan handle it from there.