they asked for advice, not encouragement to compromise on their core values and principles, theres a stark difference you are failing to see. telling someone to lighten up isn't helpful. please do not overestimate the value of your opinion and enjoy your day 🙂
You can't, really, because it is weird. She's a grown adult with a fully developed brain in a supervisory position. You're a barely legal teenager that is her employee.
I agree to take time to reevaluate your situation. I would personally not marry this guy. He’s stuck in a toxic codependency and can’t or won’t realise it. I’m so glad you all could go on holiday instead of the honeymoon! You have such a great group of friends!
One thing I kind of noticed was that it sounds like this relationship has mirrored in some ways what you grew up with. I’m not saying it’s your fault! Just that if you go into therapy you might be able to identify some things so your next partner is truly able to be there for you as you deserve. For example, taking your meds away for his brother is a big thing!
The fact that you want to “punish” your partner is unhealthy. Sure, of course they can make their own food- that isn’t the issue. You trying to punish them because you’re angry instead of handling it like an adult is the problem.
There’s no other way than just reaching out to her. Message her and say, “Hey, I know the last time we talked I wasn’t nice to you. In fact I was pretty mean to you. I think about that today and just wanted to offer an apology.”
That’s it; that’s all it needs to be. If she accepts and wants to engage with you, she’ll let you know.
Sorry about the vis situation, that fucking sucks!
But it all does make sense if you stop thinking about this as a tortured/confused man who loves you, and a selfish man who doesn't love himself, and does not respect you.
I want to say tell her. I would want to know. However, the fact that he is in law enforcement puts a completely different complexion on things. If there was a way to let her k ow and ensure your safety… but that probably wishful thinking. Even if he personally doesn’t retaliate against you, his buddies on the force might. Not worth the risk.
Honestly, people will suggest couples therapy but that’s really not a good idea for relationships that contain abuse which this has many hallmarks of.
What do are afraid of? I mean, why are you hesitant to just tell him exactly what you’ve posted here?
Lol exactly! Support is what I was giving him when I didn’t know this was the type of shit he was doing.. he gets nothing from me now. Just a wave ? goodbyeee
Nobody but you seems to arguing about whether or not he is on the hook for his decisions.
But OP is pissed off at him for not being happy about her proceeding with a pregnancy that he does not want. That's ridiculous. He has no say in whether or not she proceeds with the pregnancy, and he has legal obligations if she decides to do so. That doesn't mean he has to like it, or be “supportive” about it.
I will be devils advocate here and say your wife’s response is the exact response I’d probably have had after getting through a few abusive relationships. I definitely do weird shit trying to cover up things that don’t need to be covered up due to trust issues.
Don't change your plans. I missed out on a wedding at 35 weeks with prodromal labor, but I still don't regret not going and never in a million years would I have been offended that the couple didn't move their wedding.
Yeah this one sounds like a real gem. Look for someone who respects you.
once when I was like 13. certainly never anyone after meeting my gf
Does your friend live! with you? I don't understand the problem if he doesn't.
they asked for advice, not encouragement to compromise on their core values and principles, theres a stark difference you are failing to see. telling someone to lighten up isn't helpful. please do not overestimate the value of your opinion and enjoy your day 🙂
Hugs from Arizona
But it's rough if he never has the time. Will he have time for kids?
You can't, really, because it is weird. She's a grown adult with a fully developed brain in a supervisory position. You're a barely legal teenager that is her employee.
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Your mental health is more important than your dick
Thank you for this.
Thank you for answering. That’s exactly how I’m feeling.
I agree to take time to reevaluate your situation. I would personally not marry this guy. He’s stuck in a toxic codependency and can’t or won’t realise it. I’m so glad you all could go on holiday instead of the honeymoon! You have such a great group of friends!
One thing I kind of noticed was that it sounds like this relationship has mirrored in some ways what you grew up with. I’m not saying it’s your fault! Just that if you go into therapy you might be able to identify some things so your next partner is truly able to be there for you as you deserve. For example, taking your meds away for his brother is a big thing!
The fact that you want to “punish” your partner is unhealthy. Sure, of course they can make their own food- that isn’t the issue. You trying to punish them because you’re angry instead of handling it like an adult is the problem.
She lied, her past mattered and she onew that which is why she lied. You cant have a relationship with someone like that
There’s no other way than just reaching out to her. Message her and say, “Hey, I know the last time we talked I wasn’t nice to you. In fact I was pretty mean to you. I think about that today and just wanted to offer an apology.”
That’s it; that’s all it needs to be. If she accepts and wants to engage with you, she’ll let you know.
His masturbatory habits are none of your business. Stop having sex with this guy and either find a new place to live! or get him to leave.
You choke on a naked dog. Compressing you neck is strangulation. It’s a primal death threat.
Sorry about the vis situation, that fucking sucks!
But it all does make sense if you stop thinking about this as a tortured/confused man who loves you, and a selfish man who doesn't love himself, and does not respect you.
I want to say tell her. I would want to know. However, the fact that he is in law enforcement puts a completely different complexion on things. If there was a way to let her k ow and ensure your safety… but that probably wishful thinking. Even if he personally doesn’t retaliate against you, his buddies on the force might. Not worth the risk.
Honestly, people will suggest couples therapy but that’s really not a good idea for relationships that contain abuse which this has many hallmarks of.
What do are afraid of? I mean, why are you hesitant to just tell him exactly what you’ve posted here?
Lol exactly! Support is what I was giving him when I didn’t know this was the type of shit he was doing.. he gets nothing from me now. Just a wave ? goodbyeee
Nobody but you seems to arguing about whether or not he is on the hook for his decisions.
But OP is pissed off at him for not being happy about her proceeding with a pregnancy that he does not want. That's ridiculous. He has no say in whether or not she proceeds with the pregnancy, and he has legal obligations if she decides to do so. That doesn't mean he has to like it, or be “supportive” about it.
That's assault. Leave. Now.
He will hurt you again, and worse. It will not get better
I will be devils advocate here and say your wife’s response is the exact response I’d probably have had after getting through a few abusive relationships. I definitely do weird shit trying to cover up things that don’t need to be covered up due to trust issues.
Don't change your plans. I missed out on a wedding at 35 weeks with prodromal labor, but I still don't regret not going and never in a million years would I have been offended that the couple didn't move their wedding.
The like 3rd sentence states they share the same friend group.
I honestly think the guy googled side effects of T boosters and is just acting them out. He’s taking supplements from like a vitamin store haha