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I’m low contact with my family. I keep the relationships surface level and see them sparingly. I don’t tell them anything personal and keep things vague.
Like I’m seeing them for holidays so I can spend time with my sibling that I’m not LC with. I keep mostly to myself. If they criticize me, ie “Why are you doing xyz with your career, you should do this” I say thank you, I’ll consider that. Even though I won’t. If they try to bait me into arguments in our opposite politics or religion I completely grey rock and excuse myself to the bathroom and get another glass of wine. It’s taken me years to not be confrontational or overshare, it’s especially very hot when it’s your family and they hit emotional triggers for you that wouldn’t happen with strangers. But it’s the only way to keep the peace and have a shallow relationship with them. I love them but I don’t like them.
It’s mentally exhausting, I’m gearing up for it. But it’s nice to see my siblings. I’ve just accepted that I’ll never have a normal parent child relationship where I can go to them for any kind of emotional support. It is what it is.