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It sounds like she knows who the father is and most probably based on your economic status, she is focusing solely on you.
And this is why people with money shouldn't go fwb with youngins 10 years their junior…
This being said, it’s concerning that he would blame you… my partner and I were in genuine shock and it required some research and the fact that my sister was in school studying this..
Maybe he didn't need to go at your place but did later and doesn't like puic toilets. He possibly didnt feel comfortable explaining it yet.
INFO: Are you dissatisfied with your sex life, or are you worried they will find you repulsive? If it's the former, you will have to talk about ways to meet your needs. If it's the latter, please just talk with them about it. If it doesn't bother them and you're fulfilled, this may be less of an issue than you perceive it.
They may feel bad for rejecting you because they're worried you'll leave. You may feel bad for asking because you're worried they'll leave. In reality, you could be a conversation away from easing a lot of insecurity.
To me she's saying she feels like crap, so she's not up to sorting out what the 2 of you are to each other. However, she does get that you may not want to wait and see where things go once she feels more together. She also wants to be clear that if you hook up with someone, they aren't a part of her pregnancy or newborn (which is 100% fair. Once the baby is older it's different).
Personally, if you're sure the baby is yours, I would hold off dating for now. Not because you need to commit to her, but because you should focus on preparing for being a father. Be open to supporting her during her pregnancy if she's comfortable with that (birthing classes, baby boot camp, doctors appts, preparing space for baby, etc). It's a few months to just focus on this major life event that should be your primary focus. You also need to set up ypur space for baby and financially and otherwise prepare for it.
Also, consider couples counseling for the 2 of you if she's willing. Even if you don't want to be together, it could lay the groundwork for peaceful coparenting.
Ha thanks for the honesty at least
I think it’s time for him to stop talking about the women he has slept with with his friends. There is no way all of them have slept with 100+ people. They are most likely exaggerating.
While it’s okay to grieve the dumbassery of being a young kid that sleeps around, sounds like he was never that type of person anyways. So what is he even upset about? Even if he could go back in time, if he’s not the “hook up” type he wouldn’t have slept with a bunch of people anyways. Sounds like his friends base their self worth and his off of how many people they sleep with which is really immature.
Once you find someone that matters none of that casual, meaningless sex matters anyways ??♀️ instead of having regret of “missing out” maybe he should consider different friends that don’t base their worth off of how many people they sleep with. 100+ is quite a bit of people.
If anything he should be proud of himself for having better values and standards compared to his friends. And also be proud he didn’t lie about how many people he’s slept with. He shouldn’t change to fit in to someone else’s box.
As for opening the relationship, absolutely don’t. And as for him regretting things/ leaving you for meaningless sex, well, that would be entirely on him and would have nothing to do with you. Hopefully he isn’t stupid enough to throw away something real for that. That would be a huge loss for him.
He's a very curious person outside of me. He has a PhD and in process of probably studying more..his literal day job is to research and requires curiousity..
In terms of emotionally closed off..if there's anyone , it's me. But I'm working in therapy with 2 therapists to be better. Emotionally maturity is very important to me and through actions he definitely makes me feel loved..and through sex..I've never had such loving sex all my life.
But words are more important to me than actions..I have trauma history and words mean the world to me.
Thanks for suggesting the way to bring it up. I'm going to try that in our next check in.
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No, we don’t believe in anything. My mom is religious however
Lol. Why are still communicating with that skank? Get yourself together. Trying to fake a happy relationship with the cheater for your kids is a disaster coming. Kids aren't stupid.
Don't worry I'm the real beta I do pretty much all house work and cooking as a man since my wife works and I currently don't, and when I did work I still did a majority because she was sick. Doesn't get any more beta than me.
Your friend is interested in you and his Jokes are him testing the waters to see how far he can go with the boundaries. This will escalate and when I say this, trust me it will. Once you guys start getting more serious, his jealousy will increase and no wonder if he starts doing things to silently sabotage your relationship.
No matter what you say to him, he'll continue doing that. The only way is to get low/ no contact and if possible then go with your boyfriend after one day and there are high chances that he may pull up some stunt to spend 1-1 time with you.
My husband likes to surprise me. How he goes about it is telling me in advance that he has something planned, but doesn't give many more details. The last one, he took me on a road trip to tour the distillery that makes my favorite whiskey. What he told me was this; “I am taking you on a road trip somewhere. We're leaving Saturday morning and we'll get home sometime on Sunday, so you'll want to pack a change of clothes.” So I knew in advance that something was planned, but I had no idea what it was. He wouldn’t even tell me how long the drive was, he'd just smile mysteriously and say “something between 5 minutes and 12 hours.”
Next time you want to surprise your girlfriend, maybe take that approach. That way the activity can still be a surprise, but she's aware of the fact that something is planned in advance, and has a chance to say mentally prepare herself and clear out her schedule.
Why are you getting so upset? Are you suggesting the Abolition movement and Women’s rights are extreme in comparison? Because those were the first things listed.
I can’t imagine the mindset it takes to just willingly ignore all context to and argument so you can get worked up about a non-point. Stand down officer. No one is saying vegetarianism is extreme today.
And to say vegetarianism has no historical links to religion is just…lol.
Is your sister one of those people who thinks a bad relationship is better than being single?
These are exactly why you need to break up with him. Don't get stuck on a mortgage with that guy.
Is your sister one of those people who thinks a bad relationship is better than being single?
These are exactly why you need to break up with him. Don't get stuck on a mortgage with that guy.
They say alcohol can lower inhibitions. It sounds like both your friend and gf lowered theirs. Who knows what they were thinking without them communicating. Maybe they were hoping something would happen between the four of you that day? You said your friends had a ‘get your girl’ vibe. IMO extroverts can be more familiar with body language. Maybe both of them were vibing. Its possible for people to be in a relationship but not be 100% committed. Relationship provides safety but other people provide excitement or chemistry or whatever. It sucks but its how we learn what we want.
You definitely need to sit down and talk about this
I can't believe you're even thinking of staying. Please have some self-esteem.
Yeah I see. Thank you for the insight
This is a big red flag and it sounds like brining a baby into this dynamic isn’t the best choice. This will probably get worse the more you try and fight it, maybe just think if this is working.
we have known each other for over 5 years and have been on and off hooking up since we were 13&14 however started dating at a little over a year ago now.
Me and my partner have a 9 month old and almost 2 year old together as well
So you “started dating” whike having a toddler and being pregnant with the next?
Honestly, this is not how good partnerships are built. If he wasn't your partner when you had a kid and where pregnant with the next, why would he be a partner now.
You already broke up the family when you got involved with a married man and I'm not saying it in a mean way…just stating the facts. Hell yea you should tell the wife . I would want to know so I don't spend the rest of my precious life with a cheater. One thing in life you can't ever get back is time… so it's time to tell her.
Thank you for your response! My thoughts exactly, on the overreaction to a “mental health” talk. Haven’t thought about being misdirected. She is willing to speak to me about it, just unsure of what to ask.
Do you have a girlfriend “date” and you go out on a date with your other girlfriend and you are questioning that she’s insecure? She smart, she took her stuff and left your foolish *ss.
Yes,some jurisdictions consider engagement rings to be conditional gifts, which means that the gift is given on the condition that the couple gets married. If the couple does not get married, the giver may have a legal right to demand the return of the ring.
Owwww.
When they get together again for reap please make ann post about it. I know know where, just please do it. 🙂
It's okay to miss the parts of former relationships sometimes; it doesn't mean that the relationship that you have right now isn't fulfilling or that you want or need that thing that you're missing.
I sometimes miss my ex cooking for me (and their cooking in general). I sometimes miss my ex's dog.
Contrary to a lot of what you see on the internet, bisexual people do not need to have multiple relationships with men and women at once in order to be fulfilled. Bisexuality and polyamory are two totally different things.
Your partner is telling you that they love you and they love your relationship and are happy. Believe them.
Pay the personal debt off aggressively. You don't want that hanging over your head at family picnics. Taking the money is a good idea (if there are no relationship issues) because you won't be putting as much towards interest.
Just be sure his name is not going on the deed and you have a formal contract.
Im late to this but it aint worth it dude. My ex was actively friends with her ex, but i didnt know it. It made knowing this dude was around chilling with her more than i was an issue. My friend told me, because he knew the dude. She got pissed at my friend for telling her business, despite the fact she hid it from me.
And another friend i hooked up with. She got back with her ex recently. A few of us were going out to grab drinks over the weekend and her bf wouldnt let her come with us, because she gets frisky when she drinks and he knows about me and her. I actually sided with him that i dont blame him for how he feels, because id be the same if i was in the same boat.
Theyll try to say it doesnt matter but ultimately knowing that everybody in her life got a turn will wear you down. It would be different if she went to college across the country and never saw these people but no, everyone you guys go out with had the same access you do now.
That sounds like an engagement with extra steps
I'd tell them over the phone and in the same sentence say, if you don't approve that's your problem and yours alone. If you're not supportive then you've no right to be in our lives.
The time restriction: this is neither red or yellow to me, it may just be he's found he's not good at always recognizing he's getting overwhelmed until he breaks down in some way so he has set this boundary for himself to force himself to take a break.
Polyamory: again not necessarily a red or yellow flag. Generally speaking (though like with BDSM there are those who use the term but don't understand the guidelines) polyamory is big on boundaries and communication. So in some ways it could be a green flag that if he ever wanted something different he's very likely to communicate that. However, there is a chance he may find he's not interested in monogamy after all and either ask you to be open or end things so he can again pursue that.
Dating in itself is an expectation. You cannot date without expectations. This one is a red flag to me. It states “I want the perks of being able to keep you around but without needing to sacrifice anything emotionally or otherwise in return”. I'd seriously worry about one sidedness arising from this. Also the finance part, if he makes significantly more I think it's fair for him to pay more if you ever share living expenses but it's also probably fair to split things while just dating.
His fear of marriage/commitment. This is hugely concerning even if you don't want marriage. It often leads to wishy-washy behaviours. It also strikes me as a huge red flag that he's worried a out financial abuse… He makes more and that's just not usually how financial abuse works….
You didn't mention it but the age gap is concerning to me. Less of a red flag because you are over 25 but at least yellow. Especially with his fear of commitment and avoidance of expectations. I'd expect a 37 year old to know better at this age and wonder if he's dating someone younger because he knows know 30+ woman would be okay with that.
This is the way. I've had to do this with a friend. Using the words, “I'm so sorry you're going through it right now, but unfortunately I don't have the capacity to handle much right now. I hope you're able to figure it out”. It might take a few times saying it, she might get upset, but she'll get over it. Especially if you share a friend group.
That's because your brain hasn't fully developed yet, or you're just really worried about what everyone else thinks. Gonna be a rough life being a puppet. Start thinking rationally for yourself.
A: I'd suggest rubbing her nose in her own s**t by not only telling your parents, but by sending them the tamest picture as evidence. Following that you could punish her a pleanty by simply ghosting her hot, for the next 40 years.
B: Your boyfriend, simply put, is garbage, and it's trash day.
I would go and my husband would support me but he's not a possessive immature guy like your bf. I reckon that you eould have greater emotional distress not seeing your grandma than placating him. If he's so desperate to go with you is there any way he xan ask his own family for the air fare? If not, you should still go and he needs to get over himself. You're going to see your grandma who will be attending a work conference.
Keep it to yourself. It will only cause drama and struggle in your marriage.