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I just don’t see him doing this and would be very blindsided if he was.
you might get some value from the work of Marshall Burtcher @healyourcodependency. his youtube videos are really great and his ig content has red/green flag checklists.
it makes me sad that you wish it was easier to forgive and forget. I know you love him. but you are not only doing yourself a disservice, you are actively causing yourself more pain by staying. he's been going further each time you catch him. and he lies to hide or downplay it. he doesn't openly communicate it with you and make a plan that's right for you both, he just goes out and hides it and acts like it's no big deal when you catch him. this won't be the last time. it will be harder on you the deeper you go with him.
love yourself enough not to disrespect yourself this way. don't sabotage your future self and her heart this way. yes it's going to hurt to stay, and it's going to hurt in different ways to leave. but you deserve a real and honest partnership. and you aren't getting it here. if this was someone else I know you'd see that it wasn't healthy to stay. please make the very hot but healthy choice to leave. grieve. cry. get angry journal it out. focus on your hobbies. go to the gym. take long walks. dance in your house to cathartic music. break dollar store glass into a dumpster. anything to get in touch with how you feel and move through it in a healthier way than just giving him no consequences and staying. you are teaching him that you will stay even if he betrays you. please love yourself enough to go even if it breaks you in half for a while. I know it's hard. I'm going through a breakup too. the urge to just let it go is so strong but I know that the healthy choice is to hold to my values and not enable him while sabotaging myself.
best of luck to you
If it’s a pretty nice hotel then it could be fun for her to go! And it’s pretty convenient just to stay there and sleep in a fancy hotel bed. BUT I wonder if you could meet her afterwards to meet her co-workers and stay in the hotel room together? You could suggest you’d think it’d be fun to pretend to be on vacation
If #4 doesn’t work should I just give in and accept it? Is there nothing I can do?
It seems trivial to me. Idk I guess I just feel like if you need rules, you're already in a bad spot.
What about a gay friend who has a crush on your partner? Are you okay with your partner spilling all these details about the relationship, talking about the sex, snuggling and watching a movie with a same-sex friend who has a crush on them? Probably, because you know your partner won't go for that (assuming this because the emphasis is entirely on opposite sex in your post) because they're not interested.
So why does being opposite sex matter? Your partner will either be faithful or not. They'll either cheat or not. They'll either be interested in other people or not. No rules you create around that is going to change who they are and how they behave in those situations.
Don't you want a partner who chooses you every day because they want to, and not because of some rules you made?
Whatever works for you guys but in my experience, rules like these just make it take longer to find out someone's true colors (if there is anything to be concerned about in the first place).
What's a cad? I secretly believe I can't get pregnant, which is why I don't worry. I've never taken birth control though, too many side effect.
I see she just had a baby. Post partum psychosis is a real thing. She needs to see a doctor or psychiatrist.
Hey man, I genuinely do sympathize with what you’re going through and I’m not trying to make you feel bad at all. What I’m trying to do is point out the fact that the way you have written your post/responses indicates that you are not seeking raw insight, but validation. It feels good to be told that you’re not crazy, and for people to confirm that you’re being wronged when you feel frustrated with your partner’s behavior.
Your gf has stuff to work on for sure. Are you okay with her putting her own feelings before yours sometimes, or is that also off the table? Reread what I said about how women respond to men who hit on them. It’s not as easy as just saying no.
That's his girlfriend.
OP needs to fix this in his life then move on to the other things lol
This isn't really your main point, but you should absolutely not look into an open relationship just because your partner has been cheating on you. Open relationships are about trust and you cannot trust him. I also don't know if your therapist is conflating bisexuality with a need to be non-monogamous, but I really hope not, because over sexualization of bisexual people is a real thing.
And a break to go sleep with other people is literally why breaks are dumb and don't fix anything.