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It was never his ring to begin with. Does his family know this?
Make the choice that is best for you. Your ex is an ex for a reason and it doesn't sound like he's going to be supportive of any decision you make.
Maybe your mom should take a break from hosting for a while (go away for thanksgiving or whatever) and avoid the circus all together. I wouldn’t be rushing to take sides. I would keep my eyes and ears open and let this play out as it does. If you are questioned on your loyalty on either side, I would make it clear that you love everyone involved and hope an amicable resolution can be found—and your priority is trying to ease this painful process for the kids as much as possible—no matter where they on-line.