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Look up the sunken cost fallacy. The fact that you've invested time and effort in the relationship to date should not figure in your thinking as to whether you keep going with this relationship- think about whether the relationship you have right now is something you want to keep.
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It also just improves your life. Less stress. Gives you a routine. Healthier in general. There are very few people who want to work out right before the workout – but almost all are glad they did it when it’s over
This is bothering you so much. Dude, you need to do something about it before you let these stories you’re making up in your head about their relationship destroy what you have.
Omg I am so sorry, that's really mean. Why does he have such misconceptions? Did you tell him his view of bisexual people is plain wrong?
I heard a lot but this one is a new one. You had sex with him! I suspect that he's got more of a problem with jealousy or he feels like he wasn't enough. If he actually believes what he's saying he has no clue.
I am sorry this happens to you.
The only advice I can give is try to talk to him. If he does ask him to read a bit on r/bisexual to get a better idea.
If all is lost I can only give you the advice to disclose it first thing when dating. A lot if people are fine with a bisexual partner. Weed out the others early.
having skim over the previous post. your (and i hope this is true) soon to be ex- husband fucked up massively as soon as he said “im above you” (the line “he compromised and married someone not in his league so his kids would have a good mother figure”)
“… time to go!”
You sound absolutely insufferable.
For clarity, you were a 21 year old falling in love with a 16 year old? Is that correct?
I’m picking up quite a bit more hate than advice here, just saying. I used “family friend” because she isn’t part of the family anymore. I wasn’t trying to hide her relationship to me, if that’s what you’re implying. And I mean, yeah I find furries and food mixed with sex gross. But at the end of the day, why should I care what consenting adults do with each other?
Also, her birthday is next month. We started dating when she was 21 and I was 29. And about cutting her loose, we tried that and then wound up back with each other so…?
I’m just trying to be a better person this time.
This sub hates agegaps. I suggest r/agegap for advice 🙂
As a white person I agree with you’re comment – they’re so naive
You weren't replacing him before but you should now.
Girl, come on. This is not because you are autistic. You knew how to behave when sober, but you said too much when drunk. You clearly know what is socially appropriate in this context. Don’t try to deflect. Because autism didn’t make you say shit. Alcol did. And you are fully responsible for your alcol consumption.
Sorry but I can’t find any excuse for how you behaved.
I don't believe this. Not for a second.
Sounds like there has been a falling out of their dynamic, he regrets it, doesn't want to get ” caught” so is claiming these rapes to have happened.
YEARS ?! Give me a break
But, I warned him about it at the beginning.
That doesn't mean he's required be okay with it. I think you'll find most people would not be okay with this level of sharing. It's basically like having another person in the relationship.
He does enjoy it, it let's him know he is in control. He knows exactly what he's doing, he's fucking with you and reestablishing his dominance, and he loves that he can put you in your place.
It makes me wonder if there is anything else that he has said to her to make her feel uncomfortable that she is not telling her mom to avoid causing drama.
You talk to her about it and not Reddit
There’s room for discussion on bans on company but it has to be fair. I’m over here stuck thinking that your roommate needs to realize that you all are adults now, and barging into your room isn’t ok unless you’re yelling for help, probably. If I was the date in the room it certainly would’ve escalated quickly. There’s a lot of conjecture and speculation going on in these comments though lol. The “getting heated over the spill” has turned into an aggressive screaming match that totally warranted Captain Rescueman to cosplay her Dad and come in to extract this obviously deranged, violent lunatic she brought home.
He also mentioned that he might want to cheat on me in the future “because he needs it physically”.
lol, what an idiot to say this to someone he wants a relationship with.
Do nothing, as you aren’t together. He is not worth it.
He was cheating, btw, no matter his bull excuse.
Tell her if she puts up half the money, she can have some input.
Thank you!
I mean, what kind of advice are you looking for here? He’s not the love of your life. You should be relieved and leave him alone. Have some self respect, accept the break up and move on. You’ll find someone much better.
How long have you been together?
1.) Your ex losing loads of weight made him think, hmm, if I looked like this 6 years ago, would I have had loads of options, not just OP? He started putting out feelers, got positive responses, broke up with you to explore them.
2.) He's scared. Sacred that he'll regain the weight and lose new dates interest. He's probably resentful of these woman. Sees them as fake for not showing him interest before the weight-loss. He probably has all the insecurities he had before and probably attributes any interest he gets from woman as validating his weight-based insecurities.
3.) He needs you as an option. If/when he decides he's done dating around, he can seamlessly step back into your serious long-term relationship. So he talks to you daily. Visits you on your birthday. The care and love you get when you're 6 years into a relationship is very different from how someone communicates to you in the dating stage. When you don't text back, does that mean you're already building that bond with someone else? moving on? Falling out of love? So he spam calls you. Because if any of those things happen, he'll lose you as second choice.
What are you going to do? You've been broken up 3 months. It's been 4 months since he told you he didn't see a future anymore. You can wait. When he's done sleeping around if he doesn't find someone he will come back to you. If he does meet a woman more conventionally attractive than you who wants to date him he'll date her. You also have options. You can stop patiently waiting for him to stop jerking you around. Block him. New number. Move. Reconnect with friends. New haircut. New hobbies. You can chose to move on from the guy who wasn't the man you thought he was.
Why are you being friends with someone you clearly don't want to be just friends with? If she's emotionally unavailable and you're not willing to emotionally accept that, you need to respectfully walk away. Continuing to push/prod is only going to cause issues for you two.
I think you need to add some distance between you two. If she inquires why you're being distant, be honest and tell her you're not sure if you're willing to just be friends right now.
I asked why the video was in her recent videos (1 week ago) and she said she was clearing out old photos and found that and was going to delete it.
I'm not 100% clear on what you mean by recent videos but I know for certain that thinking about deleting a video doesn't change the date. If she is being honest the best explanation I can think is she did delete the video and then found it and saved it again but that in itself would be a huge red flag.
Time to cut and run buddy, you deserve better than this.
If you're sure that you don't want kids, then get a fucking vasectomy, dude. It literally takes 15 minutes in the doctor's office. And next time, make sure that you and your next partner are actually compatible. If you don't want kids why are you even dating someone who is pro-life?
Find a woman who understands and can cope with it.
I’m keen on a surgeon myself…but I know there is no way in hell he can make more time for me without risking lives (including his own).
She is only going to become more resentful over time, and if you add in kids, it’ll be a huge mess.
OP, I see that you haven't made any comments. I just want to say that making you feel bad about yourself over nothing is a really good way to control you. And it's working. She is making you question yourself, have no confidence, and making you feel ashamed for normal things!
Everyone saying she's projecting is also probably correct. But, again, I think the ultimate goal is to make you feel bad. Please don't stay in this relationship, and please know that there are SO many people who will make you feel good and support you.
The baby progresses in development weekly that's why people refer to it in weeks not months. Same thing with the development until toddler years.
The baby progresses in development weekly that's why people refer to it in weeks not months. Same thing with the development until toddler years.
It’s not just a lack of knowledge. It’s a lack of him caring. He’s been alive 27 years and never bothered to learn these BASIC life skills cause he doesn’t want to learn them. They’re not hot.
It was a deliberate choice that he made, not a mistake. It’s also 100% cheating and whether it’s forgivable or not is 100% up to you.
Before couples counseling, he should be trying to work on the part of him that allowed himself to do this.
The way you further this situation is dump his ass for violating your trust and boundaries.
Go NC with both of them. That situation stinks and you don’t have the time for it.
A lot of ppl use it for teeth/skin/hair
I absolutely agree 100%. Just be single ad sleep around, you don't need a contract to do that. Whenever I hear reddit going on about how open marriages work and blah blah blah, I just laugh inside and wait for the upcoming jealousy or cheating story. Has 1 worked before? I'm sure but according to reddit open marriages are the norm and they always work.
he's an abusive asshole who wouldn't care if you died in that fire as long as his money was safe
Ah ok or he might just been really busy or ill that he hasn’t got round to replying
Info: where’s the money now?
Being to close to someone blurs your vision. Maybe they are seeing something you can't see?
Alcohol is not a magic potion that makes you have thoughts and feelings you never had before and act completely out of character based on them. Alcohol removes whatever inhibits you from whats holding you back from what you struggle to accept within you.
If you’re anxious and shy but want to be social and talkative, alcohol often helps take that barrier away. It’s suddenly super easy to talk and socialize with new people once you’re drunk.
If you’re always thinking of violent thoughts and have strong anger emotions, but know not to act on them because it would get you in trouble and you know it’s morally wrong, then you have alcohol and suddenly that barrier that was suppressing your true emotions is gone and you become violent. No one magically becomes violent, they already secretly had those emotions, but while drunk is when they come out.
If you’re always secretly wishing to be with someone else, really wish you weren’t together with your partner but can’t actually break up with them or face the reality of your own wishes, suddenly with alcohol it’s a lot easier to just go after what you truly want and get a profile on a dating app. Suddenly giving into that anger is so easy.
Understand that and realize that you have to move on.