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If he asked you out, either he should have paid, or at least discussed splitting it as part of setting up a date. Without prior arrangement, splitting seems fit here because he asks you out (his part) and you chose the restaurant (your part, which effectively sets a price point on the date expense).
I personally think that it is the responsibility of you and your ex to provide a college fund for your child, your wife and her ex to provide for their child, and you and your wife to provide for your shared child. So, I don’t see what she’s doing as an issue honestly. I get why you’re paying for all 3 right now since she’s not able to work. Is she planning on going back to work once your toddler is able to go to school?
This is so disgusting. I could never be with anyone so off-putting and disgusting as him. I hope you find true happiness someday. Virtual hugs and hope everything goes well with the newcomer!
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Yupp. Say this exactly OP. Her insecurities are not your problem to deal with. You have tried giving her validation and she is refusing to believe you. You need to set up a very hot boundary here to protect your well being because now her insecurity is causing her behavior to escalate and that is not ok.
Maybe call your other brother to try and get some control over this, guys like this usually only listen to other men, see if he can get some sense into his head and show him that this behavior isn't okay.
were in couples therapy and also got my own therapist i've had for a while. She is also in therapy which she has just started
Most places do not have common law
I got you brother. I really hope it works out. I’m sorry you’re going through it.
I worry she might still give him money and eventually will sneak to see him after his release. I get her pity, so I’m not demonizing her, but this is such deteriorating behavior that is exactly why so many kids continue to be exposed and hurt by people like this. I also was victimized as a kid, it makes my blood boil when people make excuses and look out for these people, family member or not. Maybe he learned his lesson, but why risk it with allowing the kids alone with him or around him? I wouldn’t want to associate with them. My best friend had a similar situation when her sister dated someone similar. Statutory and claimed he had no clue she was 14, he was 29. My friend told her sister she never wants to meet him and he will never see her family or children. Refused visiting her parents if he would be there not that she needed to much, since they felt similar.
It’s tricky but you guys are very different on this topic. You know exactly what it’s like from the kids point of view, and exactly how these people can be alone with their targets then how they act to everyone else. Best case with those who don’t they’re normal human beings that didn’t have to go understand how bad it is, then those that are ignorant and pity them or still care and buy their persona they show towards them, your wife sounds the later. It would be i creditably hot gif me to be with someone who isn’t as against this and on the same level as me towards this having been through it also, it’d reopen some wounds.
You’ve talked, you have to watch. And if she continues for your sanity you might need to leave this then have to live! thinking he’s hurting your nieces etc and no one cares and your wife enabling him like the rest forever.
I think that she might like to meet you though u/Cool-Reindeer-6145
I have to disagree. I'm not saying there shouldn't be boundaries. But there is a difference between loving someone and staying with them. There is a difference between having a partner and making commitments and pledges to one another and not following through. One may still love said partner but leave because they can't be respected or no longer have trust in the relationship. That is entirely different than the situation with OP. The actions do not directly impact him, any reactions are solely OPs responsibility. This situation is less akin to a cheating spouse and closer to situation such as finding out a family member is gay or dating someone of a different race. No boundaries were crossed here, no promises broken, there was no betrayal here. I'm not doubting OP feels betrayed but he needs to recognize the betrayal is one he created in his head and if anything, he betrayed his parents. He cut people who love him out of his lives simply based on an aspect of their life that quite frankly has absolutely nothing to do with him. He has an obsession with their sex life that is absolutely inappropriate and it would make alot of sense for his fiancee to question what else will take him over the edge. He created an idea of what his parents were and when that wasn't followed to a T, he stopped loving them and cut them off. Why should his fiance feel that couldn't happen to her? I hope all of this conveys what I mean when I say his love is conditional.
Hopefully she can get over it.
this isn't a “get over it” situation. she was in abusive relationships in the past and this probably brought all of those unresolved fears back to the surface.
this is gonna take a lot of therapy, not just a “suck it up” response
Stay strong! You know you are doing the right thing! This will be naked now. But staying with him will be hot forever.
Your thoughts are totally valid. She just wants to sleep with another guy. She’s not interested in the health of your relationship, and she’s not interested in what’s fair to you. She’s being selfish trying to have her cake and eat it too.
Leave her, find someone better. Trust me, this girl is not the one for you.
Please please go tell your parents and the police. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be in denial. Take a deep breath and accept it for what it was…RAPE. We are here to help you in case you need anything.
You need to get it together and start thinking about your kids. Use some birth control to start highly doubt you are supporting the kids you have on your own. Tell girlfriend to use some birth control and I’d show him the text.
You know what to do, you’re just afraid to do it.
Honestly man, this needs a serious conversation between you two. She's not pulling her weight when it comes to household chores and it's unfair for you to carry all the burden. You gotta remember: you're her partners, not her servant. Talk about splitting tasks fairly and set expectations for both to follow. As for your intimacy issue, the added stress of a chaotic home may be affecting your connection. Communication is key, sort out the cleaning problem, revisit the emotional and physical side of things, but carry on as a united front!
Hell no. He’s crossed the line if he’s planning this. Ditch him.
I’ve in large/small group trips and they tend to be a logistical nightmare. However, what would happen if you and your BF stayed in a different hotel, made sure you had your own places to see (if they happen to match in some cases that’s okay too) and made sure you had plenty of alone time with him? I don’t think you two are trying really naked to get that wonderful trip you’re after.
Another thing to take note, the best trips aren’t planned to the hilt and rarely work out the way you think they will, sometimes it’s way better. Good luck
Does it even seem worth fighting for?
I also cry almost every day.
It absolutely does not seem worth fighting for in the slightest. Throw him away and find someone who doesn't keep you captive.
My mother, friends, and family have also noticed that I don’t go out much without him. When I do, I don’t stay out long or too late because he gets upset.
You already know he's abusive. Get out while you can
If he was secure in his masculinity, he wouldn't give a shit where he is in the store unless you asked him to be somewhere, in which case he would be there. Avoiding feminine products is overcompensating for the “Beta male” he wants so badly not to be.