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He will do this to someone else if you don’t press charges. I understand your feelings, but your current feelings should be weighed against the guilt you will feel if the next girl gets hurt or killed bc he wasn’t held accountable this time.
My best friend is a straight man; he's never flirted with me or alluded to anything other than friendship (I've never asked if he finds me attractive, that would feel gross honestly lol). He's even said he considers me as a sister (a sentiment I cannot reciprocate because I have a brother, and I don't wanna smack him like I want to smack my brother lol).
We met in high school, btw. I also have another friend (not as close) that I met in college and he's also never been weird with me.
Well at least she is honest about it! I say, go for it.
Where are your parents in all this?
A pretend lawyer. My father pulled this stuff during his divorce too. Basically any authority figure in the vicinity was blamed for his various poor decisions when he wanted to reverse them later. He was then shocked when the whole “I'm just a poor adult man and parent who had no choice but to do whatever insert-authority-figure said” didn't work and everyone called him out for being a bad father.
He's not emotionally mature enough to have kids and probably never will be. Either that or his unresolved trauma fro his childhood prevents him from even wanting to be a good father. The thing he said about not having a home base is true, though. You can't have kids if you're both travelling for work. Ideally you should both be in the same place every day. But it's moot. He's not up to it. When he said he'd want kids 'when the time or right', he meant never. If this is a dealbreaker for you, divorce is the only viable option.
Also he commented he could use a girlfriend.
If you trust him, let him be. He's out having fun with friends, you're staying in at home. He's not going to be glued to his phone, it's not like he has a neurodivergent child with a new babysitter right?
I don't text my partner when I'm out having fun, because I don't go to the cinema or a bar or restaurant to be checking my phone every five minutes.
My partner and I work on a principle of “no news is good news” and it's much healthier than constantly texting when you're out to do other stuff.
Others have given you tips to help manage your panic attacks, please try what they suggest.
As a mother I’ll chime in.
You may want to ask r/divorce or there’s some other subreddit that supports people who have been cheated on. You could also ask parenting subs or something.
The commenters here tend to skew young and never had kids. Kids are a game changer. Detonating the nuclear family is not a great first resort. Therapy might be good for you to figure things out but I personally wouldn’t make a huge kneejerk reaction- it would destabilize the home for the kids.
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I am following his lead. He doesn’t know what to do right now
omg lady
I'm 38, and I'm less likely to think about marriage (quickly) at this age. For me, age = experience, which only tells me to get to know a person fully before such a commitment as even living together.
i don't feel like i need to be the smartest person in the room. quite the contrary. i would much rather go unnoticed
As much as it isn’t nice to feel like this, at least we’re not alone:) those are good ideas! I hope you’re okay
You should use clear and unambiguous language. Do whatever you already have planned but after, ask her if it is ok if you take her out on a date in the future. Using the word date will make it clear you are interested in pursuing a romantic relationship, then you can see if she is receptive.
I would add: get tested first! Autism, learning disabilities, everything! Then find out if your college offers special grants for people with your issues, whether you qualify for government money, and whether there are group homes in your area, or whether your college has accommodations you would qualify for.
There is probably a neurodivergent advocacy group in your area, or a support network of some kind – read their website, contact them for help – you need an advocate, someone who is in YOUR corner and can help you get all this done. I don't know if you can get your parents for medical neglect somehow, because what they did to you was highly unethical and unfair. Imagine if you had been paraplegic, and they had refused to get you a wheelchair, because if you “just crawl naked enough, you'll finally get there, so you can just compensate for it, right?”
Why are you staying in this miserable relationship with an insecure, controlling, selfish man who exhausts you? It’s been 4 months and you have experienced enough of this man to know that you are not compatible and that he is angry and controlling. So why are are staying and wanting to continue this relationship?
Before making an opinion, ask yourself if your fiancé asks for your opinion.
Besides, my to-go saying is “if there is nothing nice to say, rather stay quiet”
STOP HAVING SEX WITH HIM
You're living with a drug addict.
You know what to do.
Her actions here would suggest otherwise.
Again Mind Your Business – if your not so close friend’s spouse wanted you to know – you would know.
I’m not looking for a one sided non-monogamous relationship
Why are you in one then?
Sooo you talk about her sweet submissiveness, that sounds like she got sick and tired of you being a controlling AH. She’s not your lap dog anymore.
It doesn’t matter what we think or whether or not we feel you need to lighten up. You should be with someone who you feel comfortable with and he should find someone who is a bit less…dour.
I made it about halfway through, but honestly the title alone is enough. This is not appropriate behavior for someone in a relationship, and he treats you badly in other ways. Stop letting him back into your life, end this and go find your happiness elsewhere.
This is not normal. This is abusive. If my husband said those words he’d no longer be my husband.