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It took her a while to recognise it, before we became an official couple – we were seeing each other every week, she’d come visit me when I was staying away for work. Often driving 2-3 hours just to spend a night with me whilst her divorce goes through. Then when things were officially sorted with the ex husband I asked her numerous times do you need time before we become a thing. She always said no, she just wants me.
I would never scare a woman, let alone the woman I love. We often talk about raising a family together and she’s often the one to tell me she can’t wait to have kids with me.
I will add IMPORTANT POINT the ex husband is still messaging her saying how he can’t live without her and he’s going to jump off a bridge. He’s still playing with her emotions to this day.
We could never just be friends now, it’s nude to describe the connection we have. I think it’s what real love is, she just melts me like no one ever has.
Not boy strip? Awww ?
Your relationship is a dead bedroom from the start.
The longer he stays married to her the longer he will have to pay alimony. Get rid of this albatross.
It sounds manipulative. I def overthink and ofc it can annoying to my bf, but he has never said to me, “I'm gonna tell my gbf about it”.
If he never talks to you about how he feels, downgrades your emotions, and literally threatens you that he's gonna talk sh*t about you to loved ones, he isn't a good guy. You deserve better. He sounds like he can't process his own emotions so doesn't want to hear about yours. He's better off single. Sorry if it sounds harsh. Good luck!
You should really give him an ultimatum.
You clearly expressed you wanted to have children an he just leads you on for years.
I think he‘s an idiot.
He should have told you earlier what he wants but he seems to only care for himself.
Is your gf on disability? I notice you posted about her inability to contribute to expenses and also you mention being responsible for her “financial well being”. Shouldn't someone as disabled as you describe be on disability and therefore eligible for Medicaid? I'm just at a loss not understanding why these resources are not in place.
Is there a reason you want to meet up with him? This whole situation doesn't sound particularly enjoyable or healthy.
The only problem with waterpicks is that they don't strengthen the gums the way floss and interdental brushes do
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So the women you’re dating has someone sending you revenge porn which is a literal crime and your whining about how you feel insecure? Blimey. Self centered much.
Babe he’s telling you he doesn’t want to marry you but if it’s such a big deal to you he will show up to it if it doesn’t cost him anything but a day of his time. Idc about gender roles – make the life you want. But after 6 years he straight up told you no I haven’t thought about proposing or marrying you.
If your wife is willing to go that far to prevent your child from maybe experiencing something similar to what she went through as a young child, she needs to see a mental health professional and get help. These are very extreme measures for an unlikely scenario and she is projecting naked.
I saw that as well but I'm wondering if it should've been “if I aborted the baby he would marry me”, I hope it's a typo or else that “compromise” makes absolutely no sense and if it's a typo, well that's just worse
I took a look at your profile, and I'm going to take a different approach here:
My friend, you're heading down the wrong path. Trust me on this one, because I headed down this same path when I was your age about 10 years ago. I had some atrocious and honestly deeply embarrassing approaches to making moves on women.
I noticed the way you worded your question, and it felt off to me, which is why I had to check your profile just to make sure. As I expected, I saw you post this same thing on another subreddit for some dude called Coach Corey Wayne.
The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to delete every word that dude has ever said from your brain. Throw it in the trash, and start from scratch. It's worthless garbage, it's never going to work out for you. These self-help and pick-up coaches are con men, and what they're selling is a simple and easily digestible narrative about dating.
The truth is that dating is complicated, because people are complicated. There are no shortcuts, there are no tricks, and if there were they definitely wouldn't be whatever this guy is claiming they are. Usually the advice these people give are things that lead you to ask someone out the way you did here, which is an objectively terrible way to do it. I'm not going to go into why, because you already have plenty of comments telling you why.
My advice to you is to take a break, and stop focusing on how you can get better at dating. You're 20, you're still figuring yourself out, and the most attractive thing you can ever do is to go ahead and figure yourself out. You'll never figure yourself out by trying to follow guides from self-help gurus or dating coaches, because that's just going by what someone else thinks you should be. You have to figure out what you think you should be.
Right now you're inundated with cultural messages about what you as a man should be. Stoic, strong, successful with women, assertive, direct, and so on. That doesn't necessarily match with what you truly want to be deep inside, though. The best thing you can do for yourself is to stop following the script you've been told to follow, and start writing your own. How do you do that? Hell if I know, figuring that out is part of the journey, because it's a different journey for everyone.
At the end of the day, once you figure out yourself, and feel like you're able to be a person you like and a person you're proud of being – other people who like that person will be attracted to you both platonically and romantically. From there it's all honestly very natural, because they're attracted to you because of who you are. There's nothing easier than just being who you are once you've figured yourself out.
is confident it may be mine
So which one is it? “confident” or “may be”?
Sounds like you're getting bamboozled, do the patternity test and never think back on it.
This is disgusting. He dating a 16 year old before didn’t make your skin crawl?
Fellow gal with ADHD here. This is not the guy for you. Not because he isn’t into PDAs – plenty of people aren’t – but because he’s dismissive of things that are clearly important to you. It’s one thing to say “I’m not comfortable with XYZ”, it’s another to say “XYZ is childish/not important/unrealistic”. The former is simply a difference in preference, the latter is a judgement. I think you feel rejected and judged because, in these instances at least, you ARE being rejected and judged by him. He sees the ways you express and wish to receive love and he thinks poorly of them, and doesn’t trouble to hide that fact.
Now I don’t think that makes him a bad person. I’m married to someone not dissimilar – it’s a running joke for us that we’ve been married over 8 years and he still hasn’t accepted my “married” request on Facebook. But the difference there is, I genuinely think it’s hilarious. I’m also someone who tends to express love more privately, and we are a relatively close match when it comes to our comfort levels around showing affection or professing love when other people are around. But if it WAS important to one of us, and the other one thought it was silly or childish or deserved to be dismissed, then THAT would be a problem, and we would not be compatible.
Neither of you is wrong. You’re just not a good fit. And this is the kind of issue that festers in a relationship because it’s not a problem with a solution – this is part of who you both are. Your expectations are only unrealistic in the sense that HE will never be a partner who can fulfil them, because he doesn’t enjoy doing so. But another person would do so freely. And his are unrealistic because he’s expecting you to be happy with a level of affection that falls short of what you need to feel loved, because that’s all he feels comfortable giving you. Again, no bad guys here. Just a mismatch of needs which is unlikely to be resolved.
There's nothing you can do. Accept his decision.
Have you asked about her at all?
She's a parasite (or if that's too blunt for you, a cake-eater). You need to give her an eviction notice.
Are you more well off than him? He could have married you for financial gain while his “ex” is actually still his primary.
Nope. They don’t. Probably come from religious backgrounds though where they were groomed into thinking marriage & a kid are the epitome of life
Finding a single soyboy is like finding a unicorn. I'd love a vegan partner.
Girl stop squeezing yourself to fit into this guy's life.
Whoever commented please comment again it was erased
Op I am sorry that you had to go through this. Your job was more important than his. Teaching is a very difficult job. I bet he didn't count all the class work you took home. He didn't have a right to yell at you or blame you for all your problems. He left the relationship long before you realized. His views and volatile behavior is very scary. Get a lawyer and exit out of the relationship safely. Good luck
You are dodging a bullet here, BIG TIME. Don’t you dare get back together with him. Punching walls is NOT OKAY. Blaming you for his emotions is NOT OKAY.
Run, woman. RUN.
I finally told them to go fuck themselves.
Proud of you, OP
He says he won’t accommodate your request when he knows you are uncomfortable? That’s a nope for me. You are asking a very small thing and he literally does not care about your feelings. Will do it anyway, just not tell you. That would make me leave tbh. He doesn’t care what you want, he’ll will do whatever he pleases. You need to rethink this relationship
Your post history tells a lot. Don’t marry him.
The intent is what makes it manipulative. There's a difference between “you made me mad, so I'm not speaking to you for 3 days” and “I'm angry with you, and for the moment I can't be happy around you. I need space to cool off. I'll text you in the morning to let you know I'm ok, but I can't promise I'll want to actually have a conversation.” One is punishment, trying to force a desirable outcome. The other is communication, protecting both you and him from an argument or escalation while one or both of you are not capable of reason.