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I'd go against the majority here and say that you do sound controlling.
Boys trips are fun, and everytime I went to one where someone brought along his gf, it ended up with that specific guy being a separated entity from the group, so it's not unreasonable for him to not want you there.
Despite what he said, he sounds like he indeed like this group of friends, so take from this the conclusions you want, but yes… You ARE asking him to choose between you and his friends, which in my opinion is a shitty thing to do.
??I’m going through this rn and here’s what I’ve come up with, and in cases like these overthinking is your closest friend cause you’ll probably be right.
It could be that she just wants space from you, but her reason being winter making her feel anti social I would assume she’s anti social from everyone but to be texting her friend while ignoring you is like saying she’s obviously giving more time to her “guy friend” than to you, her bf; if there’s nothing major going on in her life like stress, work related, family then there’s no reason as to why she’s giving more attention to another guy than to you. You could always play the waiting game, don’t text her back, don’t call, just give her space with the assumption she’s cheating on you with her friend and wait for results. If nothing happens and or you don’t wanna wait, just confront her on how she’s making you feel and how she texts him more.
Also remember, more than most women don’t know what accountability is
Why are you even angry at them? Shouldn’t you be more angry at your husband?
Your husband told them he told you, why would they bring it up when it appears to them that your husband told you and you don’t want to talk about it?
Everyone who uses their body for work is “selling their body.”
Not triangle face, I hate triangle face. I scares me.
Oh man. Good luck to both of you. I hope things work out. She’s definitely going to need some help.
So she was informing you, and that would have been the time to say that makes you feel uncomfortable. She also can talk through that type of camera, which is probably why she went with that brand, so she can tell her dog off.
I can never understand people that cry for their exes especially those that treat them the worse.. I mean you are human and you should feel se sort of grief if ever three's any because you and that person was together plus have kids but not this level of crying .. this is bound to make your partner feel bad.. I had an ex that used to cry ever so often for a work friend of hers that died and it was like years ago and she keep crying out of the blue which led me to think they had something.. this is totally unacceptable.. grief yes but not all this crying.. SORRY?
Oh hell no, you don't get to feel uncomfortable that he found someone reliable and willing to help him in an emergency.
Been through this sorta thing myself man, she’s just having you as the back up. You’d think he would be the back up boy but it’s actually you. She ain’t it man, don’t waste your time.
I bet you he’s not as very hot as Lele Pons though ?
I am in the US. Last week I got a hold of an insurance broker to help us find something that works for us. Is medicaid free and do they provide mental health services?
I am in the US. Last week I got a hold of an insurance broker to help us find something that works for us. Is medicaid free and do they provide mental health services?
Are you currently in a relationship? How long was your longest-lasting relationship? Why are you posting this kind of bullshit when somebody asks for advice? Are you unhappy and want to make others unhappy too?
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Go zero contact, it's the only way. If it's a one sided break up, there's absolutely not way to get over it but to move on completely. Regardless of your desired outcome (get her back, or not), that is truly the only solution.
The reality is, when going through loss and depression, we tell ourselves that by being in their lives, that creates the opportunity. It doesn't, it just creates more hurt. Ironically, you're actually lucky in that she's making it easy by putting up walls between you. I had the opposite experience when I was younger. She would constantly come back, unprompted. Calls, texts, hook ups, whenever she was feeling lonely. Then the next day it was back to, “I'm just confused and need more time.” This went on for the better part of a year, and I was a fool who let it keep going. It the end, all it did was drag out my pain, and re-open the wound constantly.
For your sake, lose her number, remove any temptation. Focus on yourself, become a better person through the pain. In the end, it will make you stronger for the next relationship, and a better person.
Normalize creepers if you want. No 40yo man is with a 20yo person in a healthy relationship in this millennium. Just broken older dudes finding new ways to traumatize vulnerable people.
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Should’ve known ?
Don't assume that what you consider looking your best is the same as what he finds attractive. Talk to him about it.
You two not being able or willing to communicate about something like this is what you should be more concerned about.
Perhaps I’m being slow, but one thing that’s not clear to me is why did she invent the rape story ?
She could have said- I’m done and it’s out of my system- and you probably wouldn’t have been the wiser.
She is a piece of work though…
I mean, you have to admit, it’s kinda hilarious
He's being a baby. In fairness, he's 22. And you're 19. You're both too young to sink time into toxic relationships.
I remembered your previous posted and commented. You did the right thing. He has got issues and he is verbally abusing. If you would’ve stayed it would’ve gotten worse. Wishing you the best of luck in 2023.
Let it go. Also, I’m curious what the expectation was when you came out as bi in the midst of a monogamous relationship? Obviously you’re attracted to who you’re attracted to and you should be able to share that with your partner. That said, if you’re in a monogamous relationship, introducing the idea of wanting to have sex with anyone else – which on some level is what coming out is – is liable to cause misgivings on your partners end.
Ultimately, y’all are very young and this was never likely to be the person you wound up with. You being bi is not an issue, and not something you should need to hide. My wife is bi, and it’s something she was clear about with me when I met her. We’re monogamous, so it doesn’t really affect much, just let’s me know that if we ever split, there’s a wider pool of people she would potentially be interested in. Had she come out to me while we were together, I would wonder seriously what she was looking for and whether or not it was me.
This is the stupidest crap I’ve heard in a long time. I have ADHD and ASD, and when my husband brought up opening our marriage, I told him he’ll no and if he couldn’t accept that then to leave. ADHD doesn’t cause you to be a spoiled brat wanting all the toppings. The only thing at fault here is you, you made the choice to open your relationship, you chose to not listen to him and blow him off when he told you what he would do, and you’re the crying and having a hissy fit when you finally realized what the consequences were. Take some responsibility and grow up.
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Thanks for the input its very hot to acknowledge the truth of my actions I think I've been justifying them to myself. A decision is needed you're right
I know I wasn’t present in the beginning and am the only one to blame
I would like to address this first. You are NOT to blame. No one is. PPD is a mental illness likely caused by the hormone changes brought on by pregnancy and childbirth. It just happens sometimes. Its not ones fault.
I am glad that you're doing better and were able to get help. It must be so frustrating for you to not be trusted now but his fears are based on things that did happen. What needs to happen now is for him to get caught up to where you are now. Perhaps he could go with you to speak with your therapist so they can confirm that you're in the right state of mind now. Perhaps going to a parenting class together could help (and imo everyone could benefit from parenting classes).
I give him nightly full body massages and I run epsom salt baths for him when I get the chance, I honestly think he just sees it as him “burdening” me even more, even when it’s something I’ve chosen to do out of appreciation care and love.
Unfortunately, I don’t have my driver’s license as my vision is not strong enough for me to drive although I highly wish I could do that. I’m currently trying to find work for him here where I am. It’s a lot less physical than where he was before and accommodations for his condition here are very doable.
You’re right. Thank you
When you say non white what do you mean? I presume you mean black? Because for most other non-white races the stereotype seems to go the opposite way.
Best of luck ♥️
Worst part is I knew what was going on because I went through her phone, she keeps telling that I invaded her probably which I understand) I had to force her hands to tell me more and there was. She knew it was eating me up and had the power to tell me . She legitimately holding her ground saying she didn’t do anything inappropriate because was self aware on what her intentions are. ?
We have been very open to each other (at least I am and he agreed to be open too) but if that’s the case, why not not say it directly?
That answer is very understandable too and I would have no problems with it!
If neither of you three guys have discussed commitment with her then she’s not officially cheating of anyone. If you want to know what she’s thinking or if she’s wanting to make a commitment and stop dating those other guys, you can ask her. Instead of ghosting her, would you feel comfortable saying, something like, “Hey, I ran into an old friend who seemed surprised that you and I were dating because he says he’s also dating you, as is another friend. I guess I’m just a little surprised and need some time to process that.” And see what she says. That way your not attacking her; you’re just being honest that you’re surprised and a little confused,as you should be.
Yes, along these lines.
Make some quality alone time for just the two of you. Hold hands or show her physical affection without being overtly sexual. See if she warms up to you.
Of course a direct conversation about each others needs and wants is the simplest way to understanding, there will always need some behavior changes to make it work.
Relationship ship is sadly over, she already has dudes in kind and your in the way , either you let her go or she will go and break your heart .
So, there is a girl who was in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. He never treated her nice but she was in mad love with him. They were friends since college and were working together. The guy didn't want to marry her and she was not happy about it.
When you learned this about her, you should have immediately written her off as undateable due to the fact that she has horrible judgement and makes awful life decisions. Instead, you did the exact opposite and now you have learned the very hot way to be smarter about whom you choose to date.
You are saying a guy who kissed another girl while he had a girlfriend when he was in high school 20 years ago is the same as the guy (or girl) who has had multiple affair partners and has been cheating on their significant other for those same 20 years with no remorse. They are both forever “bad people” and should be shunned.
Can you really not think of a single situation where someone cheats but has a valid explanation (not an excuse, an explanation) or where someone used it as a learning experience to become a better person?
If you can think of even one, your statement is no longer valid.
If you really do have this line in the sand, that is fine. Everyone gets to define what is important for them.
Because what you are feeling is infatuation not love. You don’t know someone well enough to love them after 3 months. You freaked her out. I would bolt too
Yes, you made the right decision!
Is it possible for her to be just platonic friends with her ex? Yes! Is that what's going on here? Who knows? Is it possible those 2 will just fall into bed together? Yes! Would they then shine it off as no big deal because it's just physical…no emotions? Possibly!
Either way, your uncomfortableness with the situation sis ufficient reason to end your relationship?
I am a forgetful person. A baby shower is not one of those things that stay forgotten when someone reminds you unless there’s something else going on affecting your memory.
I wish her well. Going to rehab and AA has probably ruined it for her (if she tried that). If she spent any time at all in AA, she’s probably feeling a lot of guilt about relapsing especially after 10 years of sobriety. It’s never too late though, and I hope she keeps trying to quit.
I think the dog was 8 at the time OP and bf moved in, which was after 6 months of dating. Now they've been together for 8 years and the dog is 16 and still alive but not doing well.
Why I can't see the comments??
Isn’t this the plot for white lotus season 2…
couples therapy and if you feel the session is one sided, find a different one. Not all therapists are created equal.
Short of divorce, this is your only option for him to learn
Thank you again, I really appreciate it. I definitely *feel* manipulated, or at least can feel that's what he's trying to do. Wanting someone to not lie to you repeatedly isn't unreasonable and yet all he can do is tell me how special our relationship was instead of being normal and leaving me alone.
It's out of character because all you saw was a facade of who she really is.
*obtain
Subjective is the level of cleanliness
Check her comment, she apologized & got back with the dude ?
Go find someone who respects you enough not to cheat on you. It's going to take self-respect to understand how important that is.
Hey thanks, it's nice to be validated in my feelings. While it isn't possible to by a home solo where I am, I do want to accept these feelings and move forward with him and eventually be at a place where we are both comfortable.
She is probably seeing someone already
Of course!
You wanted to see this one particular guy more than you cared about what your BF thought about it. I would also be thrown off if my partner was attracted to someone who was my “total opposite in almost every facet.” What does that say about me? You want the EXACT OPPOSITE of me? When I dislike it and voice that, you grow resentment toward me?
This was already a monogamous relationship you opened up because it wasn't working. Why are you shocked it ended? Why are you shocked it ended after this pushed you further apart? I can't understand why you're blindsided when you stopped treating him like a priority.
Any chance to take her to her parent, tell her, and leave? It's not the best way, but it's probably the most hygienic.?
First off, congratulations on losing the weight! That shit is very hot, and you did it. I am so proud of you. Second, that didn't just feel like body shaming.. it 100% was. She can feel however she feels but her way of delivery is just.. I have no words for it. She could have said “I appreciate you and all your work but I just need some time to adjust to your new body after seeing you a certain way for xy years”.. totally fair, besides, you are so much more than a meat suit. I encourage you to highly reconsider your relationship.
she said “facts don’t care about your feelings”. wow
What have I just read?
What is this illogical bull??