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I've been through the same thing. Girl it's such a double standard you know your worth and he sounds misogynistic. There's no talking him out of this one find a man who will see your worth as a person and not as a sexual object
Oh man… just don't get married. I lived that “life” for a decade. You're worth it. I know you don't think so and you'll later realize that it was stubbornness but value yourself and find a teammate.
Run away and never go back
You're calling him to cry and freak out over the phone. He is at work. What can HE do about it? Put up posters and flyers of your cat. Bothering him at his job is childish. Sometimes we need to figure stuff out on our own.
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For the same reason?
I believe that people in relationships should be willing to compromise on issues that actually make sense, especially when they are asking someone to spend their hard-earned money.
I'm giving my own personal opinion here. I'm sure there are people willing to abide by, in my opinion, senseless requests no questions asked, but that's not me and I know that being with someone like that would not work out long-term for me.
To each their own.
Your response was nicer than mine would have been. Have a conversation to manage expectations and to communicate openly. If she cannot respect that…you have your answer
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delusional comment
What?
Dump. His. Ass.
Dude you had every reason not to want to interact with your dad.He made his bed and there some things that can’t be forgiven.
I don’t know what’s your girlfriend problem but she is a really shity person.
Devils advocate, lets argue the other side of this comment section and try empathizing: clearly he was needing you to listen. Obviously he would be defensive if you start the argument by saying he embarrassed you to yalls friends. You're trying to correct his behavior when you could've easily seen he was upset and tried to talk about other things to cheer him up a bit (if you so cared to). Instead you knew he was emotional regardless of the reason, and hammered in how much of an embarrassment he was to you in front of everybody. Of course he would be defensive and react.
Id be shocked if I had a hand over my mouth also. That was the point. How many times in the past has he told you to listen and you kept interrupting? Why did he feel that the only way you would ever listen to him, was if he put a hand up to your mouth for only 2 seconds? Did he interrupt you when you were telling him about what an embarrassment he was?
ESH. Yall need to break up because you sound like a controlling drama queen who would rather be right and make corrections to behavior and “the argument” and he sounds like a similar dramatic emotional bottler who bursts over the silliest of things. You need someone who will do whatever you say and not have human moments in public or otherwise, and he needs someone who will have his back and not make him feel like he's not good enough.
Like look at what you're arguing:
Your point: you put your hand to my mouth so I'd “finally” listen.
His point: you called me an embarrassment to you and then won't listen to my feelings.
Hm.
This is one of the most toxic descriptions of a relationship that I've seen in a LOOOONG time. It's full of abuse. Get yourself out of that relationship, get yourself safe, and get yourself SANE!
There is nothing redemptive here that is worth keeping.
You are staying in the comfort zone of abuse and toxicity because you are scared of leaving. Be brave, nobody deserves to online like this. The longer you stay with him, the less sensitized you become to abuse. You don't know what a 'normal', caring relationship is.
She's your “work-wife” and I feel you are slipping into an emotional affair. Check yourself and your feelings if this is something you really want to put your wife/relationship through – especially considering this:
our relationship has always been a bit rocky, very anxious-avoidant
How about some couples counseling instead?
Yes, that is absolutely rape. You must consent to sex before someone has sex with you. You can’t consent when you’re asleep. Just being in a relationship isn’t consent to sex.
In my opinion, the truth will set you free. Tell him while searching for the requested photo, you came upon other photos and video of him having sex with other women while you were supposed to be a committed couple and faithful to one another. Tell him he has broken your heart and the boyfriend test, and can no longer trust him. Then say you wish him well and hope he has learned something from this and finds happiness with another woman. Then, go complete no contact. You can text it if to difficult to discuss, but again, be honest.
And that works both ways, correct?
I'm not sure but I'll look into it.
If you want to start chasing someone else and then feel the same way you can do that and choose to feel pain or you can do yoga opening your heart up chakra and feel 200% in about 4 days You likely won’t try it but meh out of the hundreds replies at least someone will try it and find their peace Good luck though whatever you pick!