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Life doesn't owe you a do-over. Leave this woman alone.
Omg. Your BF told you hurtful things, that he truly did mean at the time, bc of a months ago convo that he chose to bottle up his feelings instead of communicating with you; then after he hurt you so deeply that you cried, he's now saying he feels so bad about hurting you, and therefore he can't accept your forgiveness and move on like you want to do? He just keeps degrading himself and putting himself down to you?
Right there is a perfect example of emotional manipulation at its finest. Sounds like a possible covert narcissist (google it, lesser known than typical narcissists, I think you'll find your BF has many if not all of those traits).
Your BF seems determined to play the victim at all times, you're going to lose no matter what you say or do. It's bad enough that he's too immature to talk to you about his feelings re that past talk, and that he let himself get to the place mentally where when he finally did talk to you months later, he starts the talk with, maybe we should break up.
Then after he hurts you, he feels so much better, he let's you know that he didn't mean anything by “break up” but since you cried bc he hurt you so much, he can't empathize with you or give you the respect to feel hurt; no, his go-to reaction is not to do whatever he can to make you feel better, but instead he gets so upset and down on himself for having done that to you. What has been your reaction to him doing that? You end up comforting him when you're the one who deserves to have him comforting YOU!
You say he's always naked on himself like that? Hmmm…. I'm guessing you are always going above and beyond to put yourself and your needs aside so you can cater to him and his? That's not something a person who truly loves and respects you, who values your relationship, does or says. I think you are the best thing that will ever happen to him but he's likely one of the worst things to happen to you. I hope you'll reconsider this relationship and hopefully move on; you deserve to be treated with respect, and to receive the kind of love that you give. ♥️
I was thinking, he didn't tell her sooner because he knew she'd freak out lol.
Don’t be in an exclusive relationship with someone who doesn’t trust or respect you.
6 kids. What are people thinking?
I can see you're trying for it to work, but he's emotionally abusive and taking advantage of you by using the mental health card in his case.
This and other subs that ask for advice. There was always the “but I love him/her” ,”he/she wasn't always like this”, or make excuses for their disgusting behavior. Sometimes people can't be reasoned with until they take off the rose colored glasses.
Or…now hear me out, they want to make sure your safe??
Yeah mine had a girl exactly like this and when we broke up they were together two days later. Tread carefully
I know. But do you think I should kick her out of the house? I've been kicked out in my life before, it's a hellhole I don't wish upon anybody.
Honestly, wasn’t even registering that middle school would be 13, in that case I’m pretty sure it would’ve been when she was 15 or 16 cause it’s from 2017-2018 range.
Taking responsibility for your actions, giving her space to heal, listening to the impact your choices had on her and your kids. Going to therapy, coming up with a plan for next time you check out of your family life. Do you think this hasn’t been naked for you wife? How come she had no choice but to pick up your slack but you got to check out? And don’t say depression, because there is testament for this. It’s our responsibility to deal with the issue we have that are negatively impacting those around us.
You are very defensive about how you’re a good parent. Dude you didn’t contribute to your family, your wife had to use time, energy and emotions tending to you and filling in your gaps. Valuable resources that really should have been given to the children. Your lack of action and inability to acknowledge and take responsibility for your behavior is creating a tense home. Your own Lu concern here is being seeing as some kind of good guy who’s doing his best. You’re really not. You want to rug sweep everything.
I saw you say that you want your wife to tell you what you need to work on. Dude she’s not your mother. She’s not your therapist. Take accountability. Take action. Get involved in your own healing.
You leave.
She cheated on you.
She broke the foundation boundaries of your relationship.
If you don’t leave, she will know that she can push and break the boundaries in the future.
OP, start pointing out every gorgeous man you see and make sure to announce how naked they are and how much you’d like to sleep with them. Tell him that you saw a hard guy today and you masturbated to him or ask your bf if you can have sex with him while imagining that hot guy you saw earlier. Yeah, that would be pretty ridiculous, childish, thoughtless, tactless and unproductive. I’m sure your bf would just love that, right?
What is it with these guys that just say any ole thing to their partners? It’s completely natural and human that we will find many, many people attractive in our lifetime but most partners in a monogamous relationship don’t need to hear about it and your bf is too old to not learn how to filter his thoughts. Speak to him and express that this hurts you to hear and that it’s something you’d appreciate if he kept to himself. Even explain to him how it would make him feel if the roles were reversed and you were to do it to him. Emphasize how unnecessary it is for you, the gf he professes to love, to hear about his desires for other women. Are you his gym locker bro or something? No, your his gf and you deserve at least some respect in regard to his fantasy’s and the stupid shit that comes out of his mouth.
I love reading this updated version. People are so quick to believe these fake stories and vulnerable to scams. I hope the Reddit readers learned a lesson from this.