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Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells because of how she has specifically reacted to you opening up in the past; or are you just assuming she’ll react a certain way? I’m going to be blunt OP. Reading your comments and post- you come off as a bit insecure and jealous to me. You are failing to communicate your feelings (which if you ARE afraid to share- you shouldn’t be with her anyway since a relationship is about feeling stable and NOT feeling like you’re walking on eggshells) and getting butthurt about how she acts in group settings (something to consider- many people put on a “social mask” and it’s not necessarily wrong- we just as humans tend to act a bit differently in groups as opposed with our SO’s).
It may be because she’s a people pleaser and so she’s subconsciously trying to include EVERYONE in the conversation; and is thus accidentally leaving you out. But again…. have you actually voiced these feelings? Communication is so important- because it prevents resentment from building. Resentment builds when we feel miffed about a situation and there’s no feeling of resolve on our end; which is why it’s important to ALWAYS voice how you are feeling. You’re getting increasingly insecure the more you ignore bringing up your feelings. That’s a problem.
My last thing for you… do you not think women can be friends with men? Because we can. And it can be purely platonic. I have a lot of male friends due to the field I work in (software development); and the fact I moved to another state where most of them are last year due to a cheating ex husband and ex best female friend I left behind in my hometown. Just because she has more male friends than (you’d expect) doesn’t necessarily mean they all want to actively fuck her or that she wants that either. Sometimes it’s purely circumstantial. You sound insecure more than anything, because from what I gathered; you think she’s lying about guy friends being there; yet it seems like you don’t have definitive proof she lied.
At the end of the day, if you want this to work- you need to communicate WHEN the thing that bothers you happens instead of waiting. This all falls on you due to this. It’s ok for you to have boundaries; but it’s important to discuss them WHEN an issue arises so you can both see whether you see your lifestyles and opinions being compatible or not in the future. Holding back and not communicating that will only waste time and build up anxiety/resentment for both of you. Her for being upset you held off the convo; and you for internalizing what she’s doing without getting clarity. I hope that helps.
You’re only 30, and you’re a man willing to take on therapy in your life. I hope you understand how much of a green flag that is.
Sorry this one didn’t work out but you are going to be ok.