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Thank you and you’re right. It’s just naked when it’s the middle of the night and you feel there’s nowhere to go but sit here in this hurt.
I'm picturing a starry eyed 20 year old taking her “forever” vows (after one year of dating) and settling into domestic bliss until one day she wakes up and thinks I feel trapped. My 20's are almost over and I missed out on all the wild things my friends got to do and I want my freedom (and yes, sexual freedom). I'm sorry but whether or not she's cheating (entirely possible) she's gone.
I see. We were messaging each other constantly, and I'll admit, I was hoping (not expecting) to get fast replies, and I did most of the time as well. That said, we often made each other aware that not replying was fine, and that we should wait until we actually had time to. In general we were quite careful with each others' boundaries.
I was just confused, as I've only seen messages such as “lovebombing, dump him/her” on here, granted reddit does seem to be biased towards that outcome most of the time though. I just never saw it as an issue in our case. Thank you for your reply, friend.
I would put more boundaries and possibly finding a different place to move. No offense, but the more you stay in this situation, you're going to still end up in love with him and you won't be able to move on. So you either have him set the ground straight and tell you straight up, or you will need to get out and move on.
Best of luck to you.
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You have only seen each other in person three times. You have had sex but what was joyous and emotional for you was guilt and anxiety for him. He doesn’t want to do it again but you do and are asking how to make him see sex the same way you do. He can’t because he was literally told from birth that sex before marriage is wrong. You shouldn’t try to change that. You have been abused before so his inexperience is why the sex is different this time, not necessarily because it’s a major connection. And if you are willing to convert to his religion for him, you have to agree that you can’t have sex before marriage. Study his religion. It is very strict on other things too. Going from being an atheist to a Jehovah’s Witness is really a leap. And you haven’t even met his family yet. If they don’t approve or you, it doesn’t matter how much he loves you, he will not disobey them. So all you can do at this point is accept him as he is. If you see each other again, don’t try to have sex. Show him you can respect his body and his faith and have a pure relationship. It will also be good for you to realize that how you relate outside the bedroom is what makes for a fulfilling long term relationship.
dude, you did something shitty and it hurt someone. bigger or smaller lie is irrelevant. you threw aish under the bus and started your new relationship with sara based on a lie. i'm sure it's going to end well lol
Your boyfriend is an airhead no? God my MIL was not willing to let him grow up. Completely attached by the cord
Even told us we wouldn’t last and told him she has a say in who he marries. And he put his foot down that he doesn’t appreciate her behavior will move out with me (living w his fam for personal reason and I pay rent and she’s mentioned constantly she doesn’t have issues w me living there just how close I am to my partner)
And she’s been nicer since then.
Tell your man to grow a backbone or you’ll leave or just leave now cause mommas boys are work
I actually liked your comment because I read between the lines of what you meant. Not holding it against you for real.
That's what a hypocrite is. They care if it's their stuff, but if it's not, then good riddance. I would be careful with entrusting anything of yours to them – at the very least, take knowing this now as a positive lesson that came out of this mess. Might save you money in the long run and might make the car accident into an “investment” leading to no more losses down the line.
Just put a little paper cup full of mouthwash on your nightstands before bed. Then, in the morning, rinse with it and spit back into the cup, then kiss.
It doesn't make it better, but it makes your statement that it was incestuous rape false.
Why haven't you reported him?
Yelling is a form of verbal abuse. Do you yell when you’re angry? If that’s the case, than I could see why your wife would say she doesn’t want you to yell at your kids (as a result of your anger toward her). You said yourself you tend to be an emotional guy who lets his emotions get the best of him sometimes. If you’re somebody who tends to yell when mad, I understand where she’s coming from with the “verbal abuse” comment. However, the “hurting the kids” comment seems extreme.
This is a double standard. If he’s not showering before bed each day then you don’t need to either.
And it’s never a “woman’s responsibility” to smell like anything other how she’s wants to smell.
You resolve this issue by telling your boyfriend to follow his own advice or stop policing you.
Thank you for making these points, people on Reddit are so rabid sometimes to be as nasty as they can possibly justify. Why would you even want to argue that someone is responsible for being abused? Regardless, twisting the knife doesn't benefit OP at all so the best move for her own soul is to either respond civilly and neutrally or stay out of it altogether.
The actual question is, why are you letting this all happen? For instance, if I asked you about your self-worth what would you say? How do you form attachments? Consider you just happen to have the closest people in your life shaft you. So why ate connected to people so lacking in loyalty and compassion? I'd guess you are emotionally needy, a giver, a door mat and you don't expect much from others. Where did you learn that? Your parents? Your mother? Are you still living with your ex? Listen to me. Never move in with a girlfriend. This is a classic example of why you don't. Never let people treat you like shit. If you went back to your ex she would know you really aren't much of a man. She probably just can't stand being single. She dropped you just because you were busy looking for work. Imagine if you had to leave town for a month? How many times would she cheat and blame you for it? You absolutely need to be single until you figure your past out. If you don't only manipulative women will be interested in you. You're too weak a man right now to attract the right woman.
You don’t need to be similar to be in a relationship with someone. You simply need to have an emotional connection and respect for each other.
My partner is vegan, I’m not. He likes rock music, I don’t. He likes extreme sports, I couldn’t think of anything worse. Etc etc but this is the strongest most stable relationship either of us have been in.
I think you should be a bit more open minded and see where it goes without getting too concerned with these details that don’t truly affect your relationship.
Disgusting and unforgivable? Take it down a notch, you kept asking what’s wrong and she didn’t want to talk about it. Part of human communication.
Make a plan with her, a word or phrase or whatever, that denotes she isn’t joking in that moment and move forward.
The best predictor of future behavior is past relevant behavior. You know who he is and what he's capable of so why would you think he would change this time? He's a cheater, liar, and manipulator… Enough said! Think better of yourself and disconnect completely!
Why would he be cold and distant, yet be i upset if you leave him on seen?
Something is fishy here. Be wary, especially since it's a new relationship. Don't confront, observe. Be assertive. Stand your ground. Register how he reacts. If he's a genuine guy, you have time later to confront. If he's toxic, confronting will make you harder to see it, because he'll come with justifications and manipulations.