uh, i did mention that i sent a message explaining how he hurt me. i wrote that despite knowing about this fear (if want to know more about it, read another comment i made, maybe thus clears it up a little) he still made that comment and that he hurt me like this.
I’m unsure right now. She can be harsh with her words and I just recently got myself out of feeling suicidal from the relationship. I’m apprehensive of her and her intentions. I do not want to fall back into that head space. I’d love to make it work if we went to couples counseling though.
Tell to your grandmother that she must be much more concerned about her stupid son and their decisions than about you. She educated her son for being an absent father for 13 years. She might be there but all this time but not him.
Tell to your grandmother that she must be much more concerned about her stupid son and their decisions than about you. She educated her son for being an absent father for 13 years. She might be there but all this time but not him.
This sounds like a massive disconnect and definitely a relationship breaker.
“you never talk to me” “You never shut up and stop arguing”
lol what? Drama for no reason…
“he said he won’t be talking to me until i apologize” “what can i do to express how his behavior was ridiculous”
You can thank him for taking out the trash. He's being unreasonable, crazy and was nice enough to make unrealistic demands (apologize for his behavior lol)? Your response: “Thank you and this isn't working out. Have a good life”
Well, I can’t tell because I’m not around you, but it sounds like your girlfriend is very codependent and doesn’t have much of a life of her again this is one of those situation that needs to be talked about. It’s gotten to the point now where you don’t want to online with her anymore she let it go too long. In the future on stuff comes up address it as soon as you can. I don’t know if she can do that but it’s up to you if you love her enough to try. What that looks like she needs to get hobbies and some friends she does things with so that you have some alone time and can do what you want. She needs to be more independent.
Couples therapy, and in the mean time, consider this. By her being needlessly rude, when there are healthier ways to bring up concerns (she can google how to turn complaints into requests to see this) she’s undermining the relationship (she can google magic relationship ratio to see the truth of this point as well). So yes it may get her point across in the short term but in the long run, she’s slowly killing your relationship.
Yes and she has as-well, and we both came between eachothers relationships but never really talked it over. My ex girlfriend and I broke up because she got jealous of her. And this girl’s most recent boyfriend asked me if she was cheating on him with me.
So I can understand the desire to blame the coworkers. And maybe they are egging her on because they want her to start going out with them or something. But the real problem is she’s saying these things to you. And some of them may not have even been things that coworkers have said. She’s just floating things going on in her mind and saying “they “say this. But even taking it at face value so and so at the salon said I shouldn’t be with you anymore and I can do better than you. If she cared about you why would she say that out loud. She would tell them to go fuck right off. But she’s engaging in these conversations and then going out with them, and then following it up by saying I wanna break up with you.
Your dad is a grown adult following other adults on social media, and as you said it, he is doing it publicly so he is not hiding anything. You really have no business stirring up issues with your parents over it. I'm sorry to tell you but majority of men especially your dad's age are looking at “almost hard young females” on social media. And I promise you if you look through your mum's eyes, she could very well be watching content involving young attractive men. It's not illegal or disgusting, and it's honestly none of your business. Leave him tf alone.
But you haven’t failed. Look at your son. Did you try to ‘make’ him love you? No you just loved him. And he loved you back. It is really just that simple! He is proof that you know what you’re doing! Believe it. Believe in yourself!
Mama’s boy can’t love you because no one can love him more than he loves himself. Who can compete with his own majestic delusions?! Only mama comes in at a very far, close second. It’s a tough crowd so you never stood a chance.
He said you looked good, but wasnt sincere. So he perhaps feels you sincerely did not look that good. And that hurt your feelings. What do you want of him? To lie more convincingly, or to feel something he didnt feel? This isnt his fault.
I don't find it ridiculous. There are asexual people that don't feel the need, desire or ever want to have sex (not all asexuals don't want sex, it's an spectrum on its own) and they still find someone to have a romantic but non sexual relationship with.
The thing is that this has to be communicated and clear expectations stablish from the beginning of the relationship.
My girlfriend is on the ace spectrum, we don't have sex as frequently as other couples, but that's absolutely ok for me and we talked about it from the beginning.
If in this situation the girlfriend doesn't want to have sex ever and OP sees sex as part of a romantic relationship, than they're incompatible, is sad and should have been brought up before 4 years of relationship, but there isn't much to do about it other than going separate ways
– You have a full-time job at a company or something that makes X dollars
– You are a full-time child carer saving yourself what?
[[1]] 40,000-60,000 in child carer for your kids DURING THE DAY. They have ASD and speech delays which means it might be more expensive to find them a place, and then you would have to pay a nanny when they get sick (sorry, but taking sick they ONLY YOU because you make less was a totally unfair move!)
[[2]] $$$ night child care when you are alone and he goes out for his hobby
– You clean, cook, do all of the chores, so add what? 20,000 a year for being a full-time maid, cook, grocery shopper, household shopper.
So there are the numbers. You are NOT making less than him.
I am rude by using honesty. Do you really want to have children with him while you haven't even tested him how he is around creatures that need his totally caress, his totally attention and they are weak and totally dependent on him??? Do you both had a pet first to see how he is??? If he can't even take care of a dog or cat how is he going to take care of a baby???
But your are making excuses for her though… Would you ask be making excuses if the lamp has hit you daughter? Or if your daughter had gone blind from glass getting on her eyes? You married a monster
Yes, I just felt it was worth explicitly putting out there. It would be interesting to know gf's reaction…would she be ok with OP also choosing someone else to kiss?
Do NOT move in with them. That is not a safe situation and he can't be a changed man if he never admitted to what he did to his stepdaughter. Even if he never touches you, I bet there would be some peeping Tom moments. I think it's reasonable to question being with your boyfriend unless he gets counseling to address this. Imagine what would happen if you have kids and his parents want to babysit. Are you going to believe the “changed man” scenario then? This is a serious problem.
Yeah I’m a little like what? I get she’s “single and dating, whatever” okay… but then why say she had no intentions of hooking up with Vegas guy and then immediately hooking up with Vegas guy and then telling the guy that’s sweet and supportive and understanding… especially when SHE had to be the one to say are you gonna ask me out or what…
What do you want OP? I’m so confused. If I were that sweet guy I would give the best sex I can to someone that isn’t you. You ask for a date but don’t want a relationship (which is fine). You don’t think you’re gonna hook up with someone and then you do (which is also realistically fine but holy mixed signals Batman) and run back to tell him. For what?
Did they plan this with him or without him and now with everything bought or rented he would feel obligated to go along with it now? Like say they planned it way before you came to the agreement to have them on the same day. Now he’d be stuck between either having it when they planned it or not at all.
Don’t put yourself into debt over a ring. She’s superficial and shallow. Sure she’ll “wear it for the rest of her life” until the 10th anniversary and she wants an upgrade. Rings do not make a marriage.
???????
uh, i did mention that i sent a message explaining how he hurt me. i wrote that despite knowing about this fear (if want to know more about it, read another comment i made, maybe thus clears it up a little) he still made that comment and that he hurt me like this.
I think the Reddit world will need to know what exactly you're talking about. What the discussion was about.
I’m unsure right now. She can be harsh with her words and I just recently got myself out of feeling suicidal from the relationship. I’m apprehensive of her and her intentions. I do not want to fall back into that head space. I’d love to make it work if we went to couples counseling though.
he's complained many times about me, he says that he doesnt veiw me in a good way
Just tell him what happened, that you got called out and now you feel you did something wrong
Tell to your grandmother that she must be much more concerned about her stupid son and their decisions than about you. She educated her son for being an absent father for 13 years. She might be there but all this time but not him.
Tell to your grandmother that she must be much more concerned about her stupid son and their decisions than about you. She educated her son for being an absent father for 13 years. She might be there but all this time but not him.
???
This sounds like a massive disconnect and definitely a relationship breaker.
“you never talk to me” “You never shut up and stop arguing”
lol what? Drama for no reason…
“he said he won’t be talking to me until i apologize” “what can i do to express how his behavior was ridiculous”
You can thank him for taking out the trash. He's being unreasonable, crazy and was nice enough to make unrealistic demands (apologize for his behavior lol)? Your response: “Thank you and this isn't working out. Have a good life”
Good lord…
Talk to partner, be gentle about it. Talk more about small apt and lack of privacy. See where that goes. ( and do it before she shows up not while ).
Well, I can’t tell because I’m not around you, but it sounds like your girlfriend is very codependent and doesn’t have much of a life of her again this is one of those situation that needs to be talked about. It’s gotten to the point now where you don’t want to online with her anymore she let it go too long. In the future on stuff comes up address it as soon as you can. I don’t know if she can do that but it’s up to you if you love her enough to try. What that looks like she needs to get hobbies and some friends she does things with so that you have some alone time and can do what you want. She needs to be more independent.
Couples therapy, and in the mean time, consider this. By her being needlessly rude, when there are healthier ways to bring up concerns (she can google how to turn complaints into requests to see this) she’s undermining the relationship (she can google magic relationship ratio to see the truth of this point as well). So yes it may get her point across in the short term but in the long run, she’s slowly killing your relationship.
Yes and she has as-well, and we both came between eachothers relationships but never really talked it over. My ex girlfriend and I broke up because she got jealous of her. And this girl’s most recent boyfriend asked me if she was cheating on him with me.
If oyu are not comfortable with it, do not do it. It can be a hard process, and it's your body. You have time. I am 42 and have a 4 month old.
If you both ease up and try not to stress each other out about making a baby, it can happen a lot more easily.
So I can understand the desire to blame the coworkers. And maybe they are egging her on because they want her to start going out with them or something. But the real problem is she’s saying these things to you. And some of them may not have even been things that coworkers have said. She’s just floating things going on in her mind and saying “they “say this. But even taking it at face value so and so at the salon said I shouldn’t be with you anymore and I can do better than you. If she cared about you why would she say that out loud. She would tell them to go fuck right off. But she’s engaging in these conversations and then going out with them, and then following it up by saying I wanna break up with you.
Just let her be gone and stay gone
Your dad is a grown adult following other adults on social media, and as you said it, he is doing it publicly so he is not hiding anything. You really have no business stirring up issues with your parents over it. I'm sorry to tell you but majority of men especially your dad's age are looking at “almost hard young females” on social media. And I promise you if you look through your mum's eyes, she could very well be watching content involving young attractive men. It's not illegal or disgusting, and it's honestly none of your business. Leave him tf alone.
But you haven’t failed. Look at your son. Did you try to ‘make’ him love you? No you just loved him. And he loved you back. It is really just that simple! He is proof that you know what you’re doing! Believe it. Believe in yourself!
Mama’s boy can’t love you because no one can love him more than he loves himself. Who can compete with his own majestic delusions?! Only mama comes in at a very far, close second. It’s a tough crowd so you never stood a chance.
You‘re literally an asshole I hope she files for divorce.
He said you looked good, but wasnt sincere. So he perhaps feels you sincerely did not look that good. And that hurt your feelings. What do you want of him? To lie more convincingly, or to feel something he didnt feel? This isnt his fault.
I don't find it ridiculous. There are asexual people that don't feel the need, desire or ever want to have sex (not all asexuals don't want sex, it's an spectrum on its own) and they still find someone to have a romantic but non sexual relationship with.
The thing is that this has to be communicated and clear expectations stablish from the beginning of the relationship.
My girlfriend is on the ace spectrum, we don't have sex as frequently as other couples, but that's absolutely ok for me and we talked about it from the beginning.
If in this situation the girlfriend doesn't want to have sex ever and OP sees sex as part of a romantic relationship, than they're incompatible, is sad and should have been brought up before 4 years of relationship, but there isn't much to do about it other than going separate ways
I am not. I don’t bring it up every waking moment.
I would heavily side eye someone if they referred to me as ‘bio mom’ instead of just my son’s mom.
She’s not looking for validation , she’s weaponized her transition my guy. You’re not in the wrong, she’s being a bitch tbh
The numbers are that:
– You have a full-time job at a company or something that makes X dollars
– You are a full-time child carer saving yourself what?
[[1]] 40,000-60,000 in child carer for your kids DURING THE DAY. They have ASD and speech delays which means it might be more expensive to find them a place, and then you would have to pay a nanny when they get sick (sorry, but taking sick they ONLY YOU because you make less was a totally unfair move!)
[[2]] $$$ night child care when you are alone and he goes out for his hobby
– You clean, cook, do all of the chores, so add what? 20,000 a year for being a full-time maid, cook, grocery shopper, household shopper.
So there are the numbers. You are NOT making less than him.
If you get a divorce, he can have 50%
In 5 to 10 years, you'll realize you should have married this guy. I guess you're not ready to accept it now. So, yeah, get a prenup.
Define celebrate?
Than she has no say or input.
She can say no but she is not your mother and your money isn't tied up with hers.
sigh
Breaking News:
Relationship between middle aged man and young woman leads to one sided power dynamic and sexual abuse.
LEAVE.
I am rude by using honesty. Do you really want to have children with him while you haven't even tested him how he is around creatures that need his totally caress, his totally attention and they are weak and totally dependent on him??? Do you both had a pet first to see how he is??? If he can't even take care of a dog or cat how is he going to take care of a baby???
But your are making excuses for her though… Would you ask be making excuses if the lamp has hit you daughter? Or if your daughter had gone blind from glass getting on her eyes? You married a monster
Yes, I just felt it was worth explicitly putting out there. It would be interesting to know gf's reaction…would she be ok with OP also choosing someone else to kiss?
Do NOT move in with them. That is not a safe situation and he can't be a changed man if he never admitted to what he did to his stepdaughter. Even if he never touches you, I bet there would be some peeping Tom moments. I think it's reasonable to question being with your boyfriend unless he gets counseling to address this. Imagine what would happen if you have kids and his parents want to babysit. Are you going to believe the “changed man” scenario then? This is a serious problem.
i’m not sure honestly but i plan on talking with my landlord. i think i can get someone to take over my lease but i’m not sure if i can break it
Yeah I’m a little like what? I get she’s “single and dating, whatever” okay… but then why say she had no intentions of hooking up with Vegas guy and then immediately hooking up with Vegas guy and then telling the guy that’s sweet and supportive and understanding… especially when SHE had to be the one to say are you gonna ask me out or what…
What do you want OP? I’m so confused. If I were that sweet guy I would give the best sex I can to someone that isn’t you. You ask for a date but don’t want a relationship (which is fine). You don’t think you’re gonna hook up with someone and then you do (which is also realistically fine but holy mixed signals Batman) and run back to tell him. For what?
Did they plan this with him or without him and now with everything bought or rented he would feel obligated to go along with it now? Like say they planned it way before you came to the agreement to have them on the same day. Now he’d be stuck between either having it when they planned it or not at all.
You must be new to Reddit. This is where people come to tell you their partners are horrible to them, “but other than that, they're amazing.”
Don’t put yourself into debt over a ring. She’s superficial and shallow. Sure she’ll “wear it for the rest of her life” until the 10th anniversary and she wants an upgrade. Rings do not make a marriage.
If he is anti-choice he doesn't believe in equality. That's a huge red flag.