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This is literally such a bizarre hill you have chosen to die on but if you read my first post, it says that her normalmeter is broken because she has been conditioned for many years to think that abuse is love, and only then did I recommend therapy and a book to break the cycle in the future.
Like I don't know if you've even clicked on the link, but it is large-print, accessible, with a table of contents hyperlinks to chapter headings on specific things and a summary at the end of each chapter.
No one told her to read the entire thing cover-to-cover. Stop being condescending in thinking that victims of IPV can't read.
Yeah, it's time for radical candor. However you put it nicely to him before didn't get through. You have to be very direct…direct because you care.