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Because he will never change and she will never just be able to accept it.
Also, a 43 YO man who follows IG models is criiiiinge. I was thinking this guy was early 20s or something.
I didn't know people were allowed to drive away from nursing homes.
That’s not saying no. And that’s why he asked her out again.
Why would you try with someone who treated you this way?
Yup. OP is way overthinking this and commenters are making it worse
What gold are you digging for exactly? The gold that came from your family in the first place?
Are others aware the ring came from your mother?
This guy is a complete turd.
Have some self respect and lose his number and never speak to him again.
I accept some people are but look where all these main groups are? Around University where it is the in thing to be different?
4 month relationship?! Leave her! You're already putting too much effort into this new relationship.
This just happened two hours ago.
Jealousy fucks people up, maybe get a different sitter?
oh, that sounds like a really brilliant tip.
especially as there is no reasonable way to just wipe him from your consciousness, as they share kids.
op – the guy is a slime ball. hope little julia knows what a treasure she has found???
Thank you for your advice. I do agree, I don't know all the ins and outs of their relationship (I don't want to know either). From another comment, they advised to only give my input if my opinion is asked. I think that's right, and I'll definitely try my best to not make it sound like I'm blaming him or anything.
Do you think, if she vents about something odd, and I restate it to her, she'd realize how odd it sounds?
I’m dead ?☠️
Have you told the management at the gym?
Alright so usually, ADHD people (like myself) have zero object permanence. So unless an object (like trash, personal item) is of immediate use or need, literally won’t even notice it exists. Also if he’s inattentive (like me) he probably can’t remember to do literally anything unless he has some type of external reminder. We forget to remember things.
Now that sounds like “wow how could anyone exist or do anything”. This is where the magic of alarms and reminders works (on your phone).
What I might suggest is having him agree to what I call the “trash lap”. This would be a designated time of the day where he would go and pick up anything around the house. Just go do that or clean dishes or something around the house. Ideally nothing more than 20 minutes. Then set an alarm on phone for that designated time.
This worked wonders for me because it did give me a sense of accomplishment and contribution to the household, without feeling like a mental burden of having to remember to remember.
Now hygiene or other things, there’s gotta be some bare minimum commitments. And eating food is important but I only learned that in my thirties because I can literally feel myself becoming drained or unhappy. Even still I sometimes forget lunches.
You’re way overreacting
Thank you for the response!
No socials either, that doesn't bother me because I also don't post on Instagram. I do make tik toks (my own red flag ig lol) and he would send me my own videos to comment and I asked why he wouldn't just comment that on the tik tok itself and he started doing that at least.
Basically people in school would stalk him and harass anyone he was with and that's the main reason. I know how bad it can be to get over these traumas and that's why I always had patience but it has become really unbearable.
I know we see a little of everything these days (like people having complete separate lives for years) but I truly know this isn't a side piece situation. However it doesn't matter since it's still a big disrespect and lack of consideration.
I'm standing my ground right now, thank you for the words!
A lot of people don't respond well to hormonal birth control, and they didn't get plan B. Stop belaboring the point. Offer real time advice!
First off, take the time she’s away to quit vaping. When she returns tell her that if she wishes to continue to vape she can’t do it in front of you or in the house. You can’t really tell her to quit but you can create some boundaries so that you don’t relapse. When she sees you are serious to quit, if she really wants to quit she will make efforts towards quitting. But she has to WANT to quit, you telling her to, will not do it. Hopefully you both will quit and figure out that messing with addictive drugs isn’t something smart people do.
Also, when she returns, start going to counseling to learn how to communicate better. You should have figured out a while ago that she really doesn’t want to quit and that’s why she’s passive aggressive about it.
First off, take the time she’s away to quit vaping. When she returns tell her that if she wishes to continue to vape she can’t do it in front of you or in the house. You can’t really tell her to quit but you can create some boundaries so that you don’t relapse. When she sees you are serious to quit, if she really wants to quit she will make efforts towards quitting. But she has to WANT to quit, you telling her to, will not do it. Hopefully you both will quit and figure out that messing with addictive drugs isn’t something smart people do.
Also, when she returns, start going to counseling to learn how to communicate better. You should have figured out a while ago that she really doesn’t want to quit and that’s why she’s passive aggressive about it.
What's yours?
You're not compatible. She seems she is just trying to online her life after being separated, potentially working through a divorce, and just doesn't want to be confined anymore.
If this is not what you want, you deserve to go find someone who wants the same as you. This woman isn't it.
It’s definitely not a thing anymore, and i’m 99% sure it was once during a rough time, she rarely goes out and i never saw/heard anything about him ever again…
exactly what I'm saying so why does she keep changing her mind and making me believe in false hope
He's a 50 year old man and a manager – who has definitely had corporate training on what is and isn't acceptable behaviour – he's not innocent. He knows what he's doing. He's relying on your kindness and lack of desire to risk “being wrong”.
It's fucking creepy. None of it is ok. Report it to HR.
Your boss is basically testing your boundaries for weaknesses and seeing what he can get away with. It also allows him to gradually escalate his behavior so he doesn’t just jump right into doing something aggressive and maybe have you question yourself and not raise alarm bells.
Start being strong in rejecting the overtures while talking to others about it.
You can certainly bring it up but be prepared for an overly-defensive reaction. If you're interested in him, then you need to find that balance of gauging how much he is interested in only you while not going overboard invading his privacy to find out. Just use common sense and keep your radar up. If you see more of these types of red flags, then you know it's time to move on.
Yep, I've seen it all.
I almost considered this but she said she is sexually attracted to me but she isn't sure what will turn her on and if anything will-thanks for the reply btw