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Model from: co
Languages: es
Birth Date: 2000-05-25
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityEbony
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It sounds like he's naturally charming and fucks like a machine. It's going to be very hot to keep him tied down.
You have many more problems than urine in your house. You can’t have a child with someone who has these crazy alcoholic binges. He needs to get this under control and grow up.
33 is extremely young. Most of your life is left. Is this what you want it to look like?
So another woman can be beaten to death?
I wouldn’t be in OP’s shoes because I’m not stupid enough to pine after someone who doesn’t want me for a year, then find some way to blame her ?
Don't be naive buddy, how many more red flags do you need to see???
Thank you so much
Your friend needs to go to jail ?
I really hope this is a joke but I don’t think it is.
I don’t care what you look like or how much you weigh. No man should EVER treat you like that or even suggest it after the emotional abuse he’s put you through. Talk with him about how it made you feel and set boundaries. Yes, sex can cause us to do some weird things that are outside our comfort zone (looking at you anal) but you shouldn’t feel ashamed about it. My partner would never suggest to have sex with my thunker thighs or even call them that (even though I do)because he knows my body image is already shit.
Sending all my positive vibes, thoughts, and love your way OP. You don’t deserve this.
And just to be clear, if the depression is NOT skewing what your husband is saying to you, and he has really said all the things here, then he’s an awful human and I hope you don’t give him one more second of your time that you don’t have to. I’m just saying, what I hear when I’m depressed is not what my partner usually means at all.
Dude, talk to her.
The chances of it going anywhere satisfactory for you are slim to none. You are the mistress, number 2, plan b for a reason. We have a great saying in Holland that pretty much says that how you start a situation is how you loose a situation. Meaning that even if he did leave his wife for you, chances are high he's going to leave you for somebody else. You either accept that you will always play second fiddle or find a new and monogamous relationship in which you can grow.
Stop what you're doing right now. Stop talking about this on Reddit. Delete your post, and talk to a divorce attorney.
This is a very hot one. There may be truth to what your friends say about him sleeping around, but there may also be truth to his seriousness with you. Cutting him off at this point could deprive you of a good partner, especially since he's shown no concerning behaviors. Go with your gut on this one.
So you don't want her to go, but you are not willing to do the rational thing and bring it up in counseling.
Disconnect the car battery i suppose
Your husband is an asshole. You can get to HIS goal weight..he will then find something else he doesn't “like” about you that he can try and control you on.
I understand him wanting you to eat good and be healthy…but outright stopped you and telling you he wants you to weigh yourself or he wants to know what you do every day. It's toxic and he's put into your head you'll never be enough. If I'm not mistaken it's a way to gaslight and make you feel less then. He does this so you won't ever feel confident enough to leave him.
You deserve better. Plain and simple. Lose weight. But don't do it for him. Do it for yourself. However I genuinely hope you aren't actually thin and he's making you feel like you aren't.
What happens to who? Why does OP need to accept anything that isn't his behavior or behavior that falls outside a boundary he set?
Nope
Thank you !!!
Yep you’re pathetic lol
I am completely open to criticism and I just want to know if I did something wrong?
I reads 10 paragraphs of all the shit he's done to you, including sexual assault and just being a generally annoying, immature asshat, and you end this post with the above question? You need to evict him from your head immediately. He's really done a number on you if you're questioning what YOU did wrong.
Wife may want your child to love the game and realizes that you are going to bash her for it.
Funny you turn to pragmatism about OPs boyfriend having boundaries when its clear you had your own feelings about OP “wanting to be a party girl” while hes looking for a wife. You can say whatever you want but the negative connotation was clear.
OP was never looking to be a party girl – she wants to go out once a month with friends and has saved 4k in the span of 3 months. She has no interest in clubbing. Damn good on her.
This hasn't been entertaining for me – it's frustrating seeing how much older generations look down on us for wanting to have fun before were as miserable as them.
Your friends aren't telling you to leave her?
“Came out as polyamorous.” Oh honey.
Of course you can break up. People change. It would be very unusual to spend the rest of your life with your first boyfriend. But you can't find out who is out there if you don't let go.
You need new friends, a new situation, a new everything. And there is so much wonderful everything out there.
You are 20 years old. The world is your oyster. It's all beginning. The death of one relationship makes the fertile soil in which your new life can grow. This boy will always be a part of your past. Maybe you can be friends again after a while. But right now, let him gooooooo. Don't cling and don't let him cling. Start fresh. On-line your life and be free.
“Came out as polyamorous.” Oh honey.
Of course you can break up. People change. It would be very unusual to spend the rest of your life with your first boyfriend. But you can't find out who is out there if you don't let go.
You need new friends, a new situation, a new everything. And there is so much wonderful everything out there.
You are 20 years old. The world is your oyster. It's all beginning. The death of one relationship makes the fertile soil in which your new life can grow. This boy will always be a part of your past. Maybe you can be friends again after a while. But right now, let him gooooooo. Don't cling and don't let him cling. Start fresh. On-line your life and be free.
??
Sounds like you're more invested in your relationship than he is. These are definitely red flags for a person you're in a committed relationship with.
You don't get to decide if/when your husband finds put. It's not for you to tell, its up to her.
Her initial rudeness was having unannounced (or approved of) guests, particularly at that moment of the day.
I'd also argue he wasn't actually rude, he was just 'not overly polite'. She on the other hand was also not rude, she was abusive.
Trust me the elevator in my building is not faster. It stops about 5 times before reaching my floor and then about 5 times before reaching down.
I understand your concern here, but based on your accounts you have stopped spending time with him, spend a great deal of time on your new endeavors without him, and do far less in the marriage. All of these things are for you and you alone, and nothing is being done to nurture your relationship and marriage. This isn’t defending his behavior in any way, it’s just describing the alienation that has taken place. It really does sound like your marriage isn’t useful to you anymore and that it may be best to move on, for both of your sake.
I always worry I’m being unreasonable or jealous
So it's not the first time?
Just over a month is def not long enough to split medical bills.
EXACTLY. honestly that part alone makes me feel like this isn't real, because who would take the time to go to the bathroom for that ?
Absolutely. If you don't like your BF looking at bikini shots of other women, how can you justify being one of those women yourself? And who do you think would be looking at those shots? I'm glad you're self-reflective enough to ask, though. Good on you.
He wants a big house hence why he wants to borrow
Sadly, yes
These are just things I thought maybe red flags but idk
You are not seeing it. Red flags all over the place, and you've listed so many. Funny and good in bed do not mitigate all of the iffy things you've listed. This is not a relationship guy.
Or rather:
To YOU he is youdmr best friend, OP.
But to HIM you are just one out of many friends.
Had that once with a girlfriend many years back.
I pulled out in the end, because I couldn't stand being fifth wheel always.
OP needs to fiend a friend to whom he is as precious as his friends are to him.
First of all, you aren't dumb, and your feelings aren't dumb. Cry, let it all out. Whether he was good for you or not, you spent 3 years together, and its still a loss. Your sadness and regret and heartbreak is all very valid hon. Allow yourself to cry, because thats where healing happens. Its also how you heal your past trauma too. You are going to be ok. You are hurting right now, but you will bounce back better than before. ❤
Hey, I was devastated by a narcissistic cheater once and I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry for what you’re going through. She’s very manipulative to say that any of it was your fault. There’s no clarity that you’ll gain by talking to her. She’ll just use the contact to her advantage to either slowly convince you that it was somehow your fault or that she can’t be held accountable.
The reason she did it, I struggled with that too. I wanted to know why he did that to me when we’d been so close. She did it because she’s selfish as fuck and getting attention from some asshole was more important than your relationship or your feelings. You’ll never understand that train of thought bc you aren’t a garbage human. Let’s look at what she told you was her “reason”: you didn’t hype her up as much as you used to. This is bullshit. You don’t cheat on someone bc they are not fawning over constantly. Sounds like she needs constant narcissistic supply. Ultimately, this would’ve happened one way or another. There’s nothing you could’ve done to stop it so even though you feel like shit, don’t blame yourself. People like her will always choose themselves regardless of who it hurts. I think a positive to take away from this is, at least you didn’t marry her or have children with her, you are young and get to walk away and start over. I recommend therapy so you can get help unpacking this. Cheating is emotional abuse. Talk with your therapist about how to set some healthy boundaries and deal breakers to help avoid ppl like her going forward. Personally, this is why I never believe ppl who want to stay close to an ex or ex fwb.
I don't think she should go clubbing with other guys. Very hot stop. It's not ok.
I was with you until you said “why do men?” This is not a men thing honey this is the asshole that you’re choosing to date. To him you are a machine that he can put a few bucks in and make a blowjob come out. Someone will treat you better and you need to find them
Start simple. Take a piece of paper, fold it in half, draw something cute on the front — anything, a cat, a doorknob, a flower, a bug, whatever — and write “I have loved you with all of my heart since our first kiss, on our first date. You know who I am, and you accept me for that. You wake me up with your snoring and I can’t even get mad anymore cause it’s another opportunity to see your beautiful face at night. You have been gone since eleven this morning and I miss you so bad. I’d slap my mamma if she ever spoke ill of you. I’d kick my old man in the nuts if he looked at you the wrong way.
Thank you for everything you do. I love you, not only for what you do for me and my family, but for who you are. I'm lucky just to know you.”
xoxox, etc.
Sounds like gaslighting to me.
Hope everything gets better tomorrow.
Me too.
Thank you.