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First, just because you only drink once or twice a month does not mean that you are not an alcoholic. You speak of how you usually act when drink, so I'm assuming getting drunk is usually what happens when you drink alcohol. That IS a sign of alcoholism, even if you are not drinking at all in between regular monthly or bi-monthly occasions where you drink to drunkenness and are being responsible in terms of not driving. Also, 5 shots, alone, is a lot to drink. Adding three mixed drinks to it, not knowing how strong the bartender is making them, is really excessive. If you are routinely drinking that much and getting drunk every time you drink, that is a characteristic of an alcoholic. Finally, drunkenness is largely determined by body mass. So, if you have less body mass than your partner, you should not be matching him drink for drink.