You’re definitely right. I was flabbergasted. In the heat of the moment I told him to shove his ring up his ass, then said oh wait nvm you’ll need to sell that to get money back for our children for Christmas. I honestly dont know how to feel right now. I’m being distant and have a lot of thinking to do.
A lot of people are saying screw your ex, flirt right away. But I haven’t seen anyone consider how you making moves on Peter after this breakup with someone else in your group of friends might effect the group dynamic. What if your ex gets pissed and your friends start to choose sides? What if you get assed out and Peter doesn’t think it’s worth it. Now your alone and groupless. Weigh how much drama you’re willing to endure, if Peter is worth causing possible issues in your social crew if you pursue him. In my experience, dating within the same group of friends is risky at best, lonely at worst.
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Yes, it's manipulative with intent. Why? Because his response to your concern has absolutely nothing to do with the concern you raised.
Now, with no other context, I honestly don't understand what you were making an issue out of to begin with, but I guess you'll have to let us know. Either way, him letting you know he won't be initiating anymore has no correlation with what happened. To add clarity, if your concern was something like “I think you're sometimes pushy when initiating sex,” then sure, him saying he won't initiate anymore might be a perfectly normal response him doing so would address your concern, regardless of whether or not it might be an overreaction.
In your situation, he explicitly told you he's going to stop initiating. The question becomes, why? What does that have to do with him getting up right after sex? The answer is nothing. So to make an unsolicited statement like that can only be manipulative, in the sense that he's now “punishing” (for lack of a better term) you for raising an issue which will make you now focus on that instead of the problem you had to begin with. You now feel guilty and he turns himself into the “victim.” Can't get any more manipulative than that.
Having said that, before just jumping right to the most extreme scenario, I also feel like a lot of information is left out here in that I feel like there's a lot more to this story or stories that isn't here. The reason I feel this way is because you otherwise describe him pretty well, and the last bit about makeup doesn't seem like an issue at all but you seem to be finding an issue with it. That sort of makes this a common theme here where you find problems where they don't exist, so I wonder if there was actually a root cause you intentionally left out which led him to say what he said. You'll have to let us know.
Considering he went and recorded the moves, then put them into a computer simulation to prove that she was throwing the games, I'd wonder if he is like this in other ways and she is scared to be honest with him.
Is the part where you tell her either she starts changing her attitude or she had to go. Do not tolerate this type of behavior she actually was something you give it to her and then she wants to start acting funny no Do not tolerate this.
Yeah; this sticks out to me. I know it's petty, but I probably couldn't resist snarking abot that.
Her: Please delete that picture and don't share it with anyone. Me: You mean like, I shouldn't post it on an online cheater page or facebook group without your consent? Her: …
How is he exploring women by paying them an agreed upon fee for a service?
You’re definitely right. I was flabbergasted. In the heat of the moment I told him to shove his ring up his ass, then said oh wait nvm you’ll need to sell that to get money back for our children for Christmas. I honestly dont know how to feel right now. I’m being distant and have a lot of thinking to do.
Even if you were touching yourself, why should he care? It’s your body and you can do whatever you want.
Don't do it! Forced open relationships never work. Both sides have to agree completely and he's basically trying to push you into it.
You made me cry. You got the if part down to the nail. Thanks
A lot of people are saying screw your ex, flirt right away. But I haven’t seen anyone consider how you making moves on Peter after this breakup with someone else in your group of friends might effect the group dynamic. What if your ex gets pissed and your friends start to choose sides? What if you get assed out and Peter doesn’t think it’s worth it. Now your alone and groupless. Weigh how much drama you’re willing to endure, if Peter is worth causing possible issues in your social crew if you pursue him. In my experience, dating within the same group of friends is risky at best, lonely at worst.
Just wait a few weeks and you’ll get used to it.
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Dying doesn't give you an excuse to cheat on people.
Leave. He has medical professionals to take care of him and presumably this other woman. He is no longer any of your concern.
Yes, it's manipulative with intent. Why? Because his response to your concern has absolutely nothing to do with the concern you raised.
Now, with no other context, I honestly don't understand what you were making an issue out of to begin with, but I guess you'll have to let us know. Either way, him letting you know he won't be initiating anymore has no correlation with what happened. To add clarity, if your concern was something like “I think you're sometimes pushy when initiating sex,” then sure, him saying he won't initiate anymore might be a perfectly normal response him doing so would address your concern, regardless of whether or not it might be an overreaction.
In your situation, he explicitly told you he's going to stop initiating. The question becomes, why? What does that have to do with him getting up right after sex? The answer is nothing. So to make an unsolicited statement like that can only be manipulative, in the sense that he's now “punishing” (for lack of a better term) you for raising an issue which will make you now focus on that instead of the problem you had to begin with. You now feel guilty and he turns himself into the “victim.” Can't get any more manipulative than that.
Having said that, before just jumping right to the most extreme scenario, I also feel like a lot of information is left out here in that I feel like there's a lot more to this story or stories that isn't here. The reason I feel this way is because you otherwise describe him pretty well, and the last bit about makeup doesn't seem like an issue at all but you seem to be finding an issue with it. That sort of makes this a common theme here where you find problems where they don't exist, so I wonder if there was actually a root cause you intentionally left out which led him to say what he said. You'll have to let us know.
Considering he went and recorded the moves, then put them into a computer simulation to prove that she was throwing the games, I'd wonder if he is like this in other ways and she is scared to be honest with him.
Is the part where you tell her either she starts changing her attitude or she had to go. Do not tolerate this type of behavior she actually was something you give it to her and then she wants to start acting funny no Do not tolerate this.
…thinks they can “make” you have sex without a condom?
Nowhere in this post did OP say her husband thinks he can “make” her have sex without a condom.
Yeah; this sticks out to me. I know it's petty, but I probably couldn't resist snarking abot that.
Her: Please delete that picture and don't share it with anyone. Me: You mean like, I shouldn't post it on an online cheater page or facebook group without your consent? Her: …
100% you are strong enough to do this and do it now before your children view his behaviour/your relationship as normal
NZ here. Sorry, we're shut.