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I wouldn't normally offer this kind of advice but… This is the RED FLAG of all red flags. Nothing, and I mean nothing good will come of this relationship if you stay in it. This attitude is almost always a precursor to abuse.
So because she didn't follow one of the constructs of religion to a T, she's not allowed to try to follow the other parts anymore? It's just shot, she can't try again or still try to follow her belief system anymore? Why be so unforgiving of her for making a mistake against something you don't even prescribe to?
Tell him as nice as you can but be direct
A lot of people actually do this due to curiosity. It's not really stalking if you are just looking at someone's social media account. She's probably just curious/insecure/jealous. It will probably stop soon. Why are you still talking to your ex and does your current gf know about it? If you have a good relationship with your gf, you would just say to her that your ex told you she thinks she is using a fake account to look at her account and it's making her uncomfortable.
This is a little immature yes and a little weird but TRUST ME a ton of women do this.
A lot of people actually do this due to curiosity. It's not really stalking if you are just looking at someone's social media account. She's probably just curious/insecure/jealous. It will probably stop soon. Why are you still talking to your ex and does your current gf know about it? If you have a good relationship with your gf, you would just say to her that your ex told you she thinks she is using a fake account to look at her account and it's making her uncomfortable.
This is a little immature yes and a little weird but TRUST ME a ton of women do this.
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You need a couples counselor, because I heavily feel like both of you yell out things in the heat of an argument that neither of you mean. This calls for a mediator who can help you communicate your feelings better (and before the boiling point that sparks an argument) in the long run.
What comment did you make to her first?
3) yes she doesn't seem to be upset to other people. She speaks normally with her mother, in public situations she seems to know how to handle herself. It is just with me it has started to happen, more and more easily. Tells me it happens because I'm such a jerk. Sometimes she has been more reflective of her own behavior when she felt more vulnerable and admitted she has a problem and it is not right and she is not peoud what she does to me and promised to try to handle herself but cannot promise anything. She admitted that sometimes she has lost her control in a public situation, how she felt in a dinner table offended by someone's comments and started to scream so much that her friend was trying to hold her down and ask her to get a grip. And it doesn't happen just inside home with me, like we were on a trip in a new city and she just got upset by something and stopped to speak or behave normally and became convinced that I am lying to her and any questions or trying to talk made her scream stop fucking my brain. She even screamed first time like this, “you are like my ex! He also lied and fucked my brain, so what's next?” I was again so confused, in middle of a foreign city trying to take care of the situation and feeling like having a temper tantrum having adult kid with me. Then she would walk behind me in distance when I'm guiding us to the hotel etc. It's difficult and seems to color most of the memories in my mind as those are so taxing emotionally to me, it removes the joy of those moments when I feel shocked and scared and confused what is happening, what did I do. Trying to help her understand my Intensions weren't bad, apologising etc. And wondering when and if she will again come back to normal or just disappear. They are so uncontrolled her emotional reactions that it creates a lot of insecurity inside of me.
And she talks badly about me how I have not married her yet, and doesn't seem to understand it when I say I cannot marry in a situation like this. I don't want to sign up for life of being screamed at or treated like she does. And I cannot imagine having kids grow up in an environment where even I cannot survive emotionally and physically, that we need to fix these things but she keeps telling how Things would be great if I just watched my mouth better and didn't say wrong things. If I had more time for her and our plans didn't change so often. And again she doesn't seem to realise I don't have any time even for myself as I'm either unable to work with these crazy situations happening time and time again and then not getting even sleep, and when I get recovered I have to work all my waking hours to try to keep things in control and get bread to the table. And it's been continuing like a year this game now. I am desperate, I am not perfect, I make mistakes but I don't know anymore how to help her, us, or myself.
Drop her and block her. I would tell the mutual friends as well.
She can be alone with BIL and when he’s begging to come back she’ll look stupid.
Ur bill is a massive idiot as well. But he will see grass is not greener
Thank you for the advice! He has mentioned that he understands he’ll need to take on a majority of the bills and he’s fine doing that since it will only be one more year and then I’ll have my own income, I just hate feeling like a burden!
It’s not just cheating tho.
He’s engaging in sex with women (and quite possibly minors, whether he knows or not) in a country that is well known for being one of the worst offenders for human trafficking and sex slavery.
Guarantee you, most prostitutes in Thailand aren’t sex workers because they’re modern, liberated women that enjoy sex work.
They’re desperate and trying to survive. Or, very likely, forced into it.
She should leave him and do him a big favor. She's been mooching off of him for a long time and now when he politely notes her poor behavior she has the nerve to be offended and decide that she no longer trusts him.
Bet if you talk to Mackenzie you’ll find out. He was with her and then asked for a divorce. His relationship did not start a couple of months ago that’s just when you found out about it.
His whole family will hate him when they find out the truth. I’d invite the sister to lunch she’s your sister now and she will probably disown him.
Now get yourself your best life, glow up, and go date someone awesome.
I never thought about it this way.. for context on the other hand, throughout the day it gets said on from both of us several times. The only way I can even tell (sometimes) if something is bothering her is if I say it and either get an “mhm” or “love you too”. But I do see how saying it AFTER I recognize there’s an issue can be manipulative. Honestly didn’t mean it like that but I’ll do better on that end going forward. When time permits, I’ll also see about some kind of counsel.
No, I get that. I'm able to pick out what seems to be the autism.
I understand why she was confused when she texted him goodnight and didn't understand why he didn't respond as usual. I also know that can be a little jarring as well.
She's also 31. Age does come into it, because at this stage, someone would have had this discussion with her, whether that's family, therapists, past partners, or friends. If they haven't then everyone is failing her spectacularly.
I'm not saying OP is faultless in anything. They really need to communicate and talk it through. It sounds like OP might be unable to get what he needs from her, and that's also valid.
I'm really just talking about what you've been commenting. From what I've seen, no one here has mentioned anything about Rain Man and, yes, people are ignoring the autism factor, which I'd understand if that's all you're addressing. Instead, you're just saying everyone thinks to have autism you have to be severe, or non-verbal with obvious tics while no one has made that assumption.
In my opinion, you've kind of made it sound like autism is an excuse to be a jerk. I'm sorry, it isn't. There are challenges that go in to it, I respect that, and it does depend on severity, but autism doesn't mean a straight up pass to be inconsiderate.
Nice rage bait lol.
So two adults enter into a consensual relationship, and are genetically unrelated and you make this about you? Maybe just get over yourself and let them be happy???
She absolutely remembers she said it and doesn’t want to address the shitty thing she did. Remind her and tell her it’s bothering you and you need to talk about it. The way she reacts will tell you what you need to know about the kind of person she is, if her comment hasn’t already.
People need calling out on this sort of behaviour, I’m sorry this has happened to you, OP.
Married man and father of three here.
You should not be worrying about seducing anyone right now. You are taking care of a baby and have another one on the way? Yeah, no. Your man should be all about you right now. If he’s pulling away that’s a him problem, not a you problem.
I hate the pile on, but the age gap is concerning. The fact that you think your value is in your ability to seduce him reinforces that concern. You guys need to be a team, even when you are pregnant and feeling cranky and frumpy. Especially then, actually.
You just keep working on that baby. Your BF is a grown man. He can take care of himself for a few more months.
You're not a clown, but you do need to stand up for yourself to you bf who isn't being considerate or even decent to you.
Asks you to kove in, dating for 3 years, then ditches you on his bday…he sounds immature and looking for a live in fwb who helps pay rent.
What kind of future are you building when he isn't standing up for you?
She left my house, texted me how she’s not letting a fresh relationship stand in front if her career. She hasn’t responded to any of my texts, I’m pretty sure she blocked my number.
Good! That's what your dumbass gets for thinking that you have a say in her career lmao. You got with her knowing what she did, so don't sit here with the surprised pikachu face when she has to do her JOB.
She's a professional, quit acting like she's going to work and banging these men. Be so fucking for real right now, OP. You're a grown man spouting bs like this? Grow tf up.
Don't you dare go back to her she hasn't a loyal bone in her body and is in her 403 phase and is apparently loving it sorry but your EX is trash
OP, let's be real for a second here, so that you can get to the place where you do the right thing.
Admit that the reason that you're only threatening to tell her so far, instead of telling her, is that you're still trying to get his attention. When you threaten him, he pays attention to you. Suddenly, he responds, and he gives you all kinds of compliments, and you're not ready to let go of those little crumbs of attention and affection yet, so you keep revisiting the threat 2.
I was going to say, do you have a friend you could stay with…preferably a friend with a musclebound husband/boyfriend to provide security?
He already enforced ownership of your own sensuality and body publicly, obviously he wants to reinforce that by being on your socials.
Changing jobs is not your fault. Changing jobs is something she brings on herself for getting too close to him. It's a consequence of her behavior.