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Yours issues + your lack of communication = your double problem. Good thing is, he’s learning to forgive.
Sorry to be blunt but it's too much for someone you are not in a relationship with, maybe even too much even if you are. You've talked for 7 months and are still trying to form a relationship, can I ask does she indicate to you that she wants a relationship?
Worst post, ever.
OP, don't let this person try to convince you that body count doesn't matter, if it matters to you, which it clearly looks like, then it does and thats ok, its normal. However it is kinda hypocritical that you also had one parther before.
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You and your dad are in the wrong here. I get that your husband isn’t innocent but he did what he was supposed to. He apologized. Your dad accepted but did a complete 180 when you moved out and said “Just kidding hahah. I an adult only told you that I forgive you when really I’ve been festering resentment for months!”
Now your parents invite your family over but they’re telling you that your husband is not family unless he finishes himself further.
You’re going to get left eventually.
Bullshit. Have you ever heard of the need for evidence in order to be charged? You can’t just “get arrested”. You are a fool. Take responsibility and drop him and take care of your animal. I don’t even care if I sound harsh I’m sick of posts like this and idiots like you.
If you are that good at chess, you should have no problem playing down a bit to make it a fun casual game.
Don’t play with clocks.
Don’t plan anything big more than a couple moves in advance.
Don’t bait them into something that is actually a trap.
Just play casually.
People of different skill levels play all sorts of games all the time and it goes well. Just keep in mind it is a fun casual game and it should be fine.
Ever heard of a lock
Do you split chores 50/50? If not this is probably why she’s so tired and uninterested in sex
I get that the post is mostly about sex and not about how messed up OP’s boyfriend’s criticisms are, but I just got the impression that she’s a bit simple minded (also not a bad thing). He told her he’s not mentally attracted to her, and it sounds like the lack of sex also came up in that conversation. She wants to be attractive to her boyfriend so he’ll make love to her.
Regardless of how much sex is prioritized in this very short post, you still haven’t explained where she offered sex as the solution and expected her boyfriend to be okay with that. She didn’t say anything at all about what she told him after he said she’s bland.
The lack of defense for this opinion makes me think you were originally shaming her simply because she wants more sex.
Except possibly with the 19 year old. Adults have different adoption rules.
Yeah but i think she was maybe trying to surprise him
So last night I found out that my fiancée has 45k in credit card debt.
For most it would already be a dealbreaker that she wasn't upfront about this BEFORE you got engaged.
She got a 15k loan because she quit her job as a mortgage officer because she didn’t like the vp. She said it was to help her transition and find another job. She has a job but wants to quit because she wants to get married and then move shortly after.
I hope you see all the red flags. How about her sorting out her life first before thinking about marriage?
The real question is, why are you engaged if you're still in love with your ex? You should break up and let that person find a partner who truly wants them.
Movie stars date for 3 weeks and get married. To them 8 months is an eternity.
OP.. this is fucking insane. A close male relative is sneaking into you and your sisters room and ejaculating on you two?!
I know people are telling you to get a camera or a door alarm.. but then you have to be sitting bait while one of your brothers or father, attempts again?!
I don’t know what the answer is for both sisters here. Calling a family meeting won’t do anything, because who the hell is going to admit this? And how the hell can mom still gaslight here?! MAYBE I could understand if it happened once, it’s pretty unbelievable.. but if BOTH daughters in the span of a month tell me this.. you know anyone reasonable would be trying to get to the bottom of it.
Yes!
As you said, you'd be content with being her friend. However, if she wants to put the past behind her and not talk to you, I think you'll need to mentally prepare for this possibility as well.
I hope things go well & you 2 are at the least, able to be friends.
A part of me just really wants to believe him. But there’s just no way he doesn’t realize how this comes across. I always imagine how he would’ve reacted, if I told him one of my friends’ boyfriends did this. I just know for a fact that he would be judging it so hot
19 year olds talk like this. Not 32 year olds.
Yeap, not everyone is wired the same or has the same life experience.
Beacuse, why would you be upset about a guy you don't care anymore?
The first question is: what changed recently that’s caused him to ask you to stop? If you don’t think you’ve changed your patterns recently, then either your mom or your friends have been telling your boyfriend about what you’ve told them, or somehow they’ve made it clear to him that they know things about him he hasn’t told them. Think for a minute about what a violation of privacy it would feel like for a friend of your boyfriend’s to ask you about a private conversation you had.
It’s one thing to vent a little bit occasionally or ask someone for advice on how to handle a specific issue. But it sounds like the volume of information you’re sharing with third parties is much higher than that. You’re also putting your mutual friends in an unfair and awkward position where they are hearing a lot of one-sided details about your relationship and caught in the middle. You may feel fine about sharing your deepest secrets with them. But your boyfriend hasn’t consented for you to share his. He should be allowed to control who knows his stuff. If you want to, keep sharing your feelings with your friends, but stop telling them his. That will mean cutting back on how much you share with them, and that’s appropriate.
It’s great that you and your mom are so close and you’ve been able to share your innermost thoughts and feelings with her. But part of growing up is learning how to process your thoughts on your own without your mom’s help. Also, if your boyfriend is going to stick around and become part of your family, he deserves the chance to make his own relationship with your mother and decide how to present himself.
Figure out some other ways to express yourself outwardly. Journaling is a great way to process your feelings and feel like you’re telling them to somebody without actually sharing them. If you like verbal processing, just talk out loud to yourself or record a voice memo and then delete it.
At the end of the day, your boyfriend has expressed that something you do makes him uncomfortable, so the ball is in your court to decide if you can stop the behavior or not. If not, you should break up.
You made a mistake in typing his age. He is really 12 not 22.
That's your sign to leave. She'll try to get back, but just block and delete.
Tell him to fuck himself. Use all your money you have on a divorce lawyer and setting up a nice home for you and your daughter. Allow her to have happy memories of you not of you living with the AH of her father
Exactly, she left you so it wouldn’t be cheating and it didn’t work out, you were her “fall back plan” in case it didn’t work out.
I lost my last partner to a guy who could carry a car engine block across his garage! However long you were together, if someone is that shallow and gullible you are better of without them. Here's to finding someone who you deserve.
You have a right to be upset. But you have to stop pushing for a proposal. This man is telling (and has told you more than once) he doesn't want to marry you. You have to either accept that and stay (maybe one day he'll be interested, or he wont), or you have be willing to end the relationship.
I recommend not setting a time frame here though. It is already past the point of no return, and she is willing to lie and claim assault to stop you. She will absolutely ruin her affair partner's life with false claims of sexual assault to save face. As much as he is shit for hooking up with her, he doesn't deserve it.
I recommend going to Steve and laying it all out. Tell him what happened, and how for months she refused to tell him what happened. That they got fired at the same time. That she is still recording herself for other men and flirting with them. That when you pressed her one too many times, she suddenly massively changed her story to assault, and you do not believe her; that she is likely trying to emotionally manipulate you, and will do the same to him.
He's literally a teenager… Why would you marry a teenager? ?? Y'all have a fucked up relationship for sure. I'd leave him, though.
Please go to a women’s shelter OP. It’s not an easy step but it’s better in the long-run. This guy is dangerous.
I just don’t think that is worth throwing someone away for. You don’t want to miss out on the possibility of amazing experiences together and growing in love over the people she’s slept with. She chose you.
Sooooo
I'm impressed. What's your secret? I could really use it lmao.
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Ok so I've read a couple posts about it but I'm not sure how to handle this better than I have been. My partner plays with/scratches his balls so often and sniffs his fingers and I find it so repulsive because one of my favourite features about him is his beard, and now it always smells like his rachet ass ball-sack. I know it's not because he's THAT itchy as he seldom ever shaves. Not to mention him touching my face and kissing me when the smell is all consuming.. I've spoken to him about this, attempting to be gentle but he just deflects it and tells me that I stink also (my hygiene routine is generally immaculate and extensive, but occasionally I have depressive episodes where I won't practice it for 2 days max, or might be a bit smelly around my time of the month, but I tell him to stay away from me then lol) he showers mostly quickly daily, or every couple of days but I've noticed he doesn't really clean himself properly and he still smells afterwards. I sometimes get in with him and scrub him appropriately with a loofah because I recognise that some people don't actually know how to clean themselves appropriately and try to teach him gracefully. I recognise people generally enjoy their own smells but this is really killing my sex drive/attraction for him as every time I go down on him it's ?. What do I do !???
So basically you are saying that you love the potential father of your children as much as you love your dog and cats. That's ridiculous.
You sound like you're in a relationship with your pets. Yet they are not the ones providing with a paycheck or helping around the house, are they? Your husband is understandably pissed because you make no sense at all. He's the one that cares for you and you give him 1/4 of the attention he gives you, as you have to divide your time equally between your 3 extra “family members”. That's some bullshit if I've ever seen one.
How sad, you poor thing. I think it was wrong to push you through with the wedding. Your grief must be insurmountable and having to pretend you're happy on what's supposed to be a happy day, when you've just lost your baby, I honestly can't even imagine the sorrow and the whole head fuck of the wedding stuff. I got a bit teary reading this. I can't imagine living it. Must have been very surreal.
Massive hug from me for you. Xoxo
It sounds like the reasons for the relationship ending are real and valid. Emotional pain isn’t an indication that the relationship should continue. You’ll hurt for awhile, that’s normal. Personally, I would continue with no attempt to get back together because there are major incompatibilities between you.
No. You are putting way too much effort into making that work. It's not worth it. You'll have a connection with someone again. I don't know if it's connection you feel. It seems more like you have one of those rescuer personalities and made her your project.
Yes omg tell the husband!! This isn’t normal, OP. Nor is it ok. You guys need to go NC and move away. Tell any cousins about the uncle so they don’t accidentally put themselves or their kids in danger.
I wouldn’t attend any family gatherings if I knew he was present and I would leave if I saw him there.
I personally would also warn anyone else with children. I’m unapologetically protective of my baby. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this, I would tell your mom “I love you but this is what I need to do”