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I don’t usually comment on things like this but I felt like I had to. We have a lot of similarities. My husband and I had a baby, got married and now have so many intimacy issues. And we’re not the only ones. I hear about many couples having intimacy issues after the woman gives birth.
I also don’t feel like a priority in my relationship. I feel like I do a lot to make my family happy, but my husband doesn’t reciprocate those actions. He’s lazy and selfish. He doesn’t think of others.
I too have had a time period when I stayed home with the baby before going back to work. I’m back to work now, but during those months of my child’s first year of life, I stayed home with her. I, AND ONLY I was expected to wake up with our daughter when she woke up, considering I wasn’t working. This is the first thing I put an end to. I told him he had to help at night, not all the time, but working wasn’t an excuse to not get up in the middle of the night to help me. Sleep deprivation is extremely serious. You need and deserve your sleep just as much as he does.
I too am going to school and have had trouble getting my school work done at home due to my husband not taking responsibility and watching/ playing/ feeding his daughter while I try to get work done, even after talking to him countless times. I have been expected to still watch/ play/ feed our daughter while doing school work, while my lazy husband sat on the couch and watched a show that he already watched twice. What these men need to understand is that work is not a get out of parenting card.. you still need to parent whether you work or go to school. It is not 1920, where the men work and Holly Homemakers stay home to cook, clean and raise children.
The last straw was when he was angrily talking under his breath one day, lashing out at nothing, and miserably replied to anyone that said anything to him. I said what do you have to complain about? You have a nice l, clean house, you have a home cooked meal, you have a beautiful family, a beautiful daughter who loves you and a wife who would normally do anything for you, who you don’t even want to have s** with..
After I said the words I realized the issue was me. I gave him everything he wanted to make him happy, and it wasn’t enough. I was spoiling him the way his mommy did, and that was never, ever enough. I finally stated that I wanted a divorce. I wanted to prioritize myself. I wanted to be happy and be with someone who was happy to be with me. That’s when he changed, when he knew he was on the verge of losing me and his family. We’re now going to therapy and it’s helping. I want to stick with it and see where it gets us.
Start putting your foot down. Start thinking about what is best for YOU, not him. Put your happiness first, along with your child’s. I promise you, being with someone who is bringing you down to that extent, who’s not helping parent to that extent, who’s making you feel insecure to that extent is not worth your time. You deserve better.
You’ve only been dating a few months. This is a good opportunity to not wait for therapy and just get out!