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He brought it up, we fought about it, and I eventually agreed
I agree. I honestly do not mind but she has been through a lot and I don't want to make her feel even more bad.
I’ve definitely had similar conversations with my ex, all I can confidently say is that you cannot change people, they have to WANT to change. If he wanted to engage more in conversation to really make sure you know that he cares, he would. If he wanted to take you in dates, he would. Unfortunately many people don’t feel the need to change until they loose something the truly know was their fault for losing, and often times not even then. Unless you are willing to live with how he is now for the rest of your life, you won’t be happy 5, 10 years from now. These seem like very vital parts of what a relationship should be for you, and if he is not meeting those it won’t get better later on. The best that he is now, is the best he will ever be. But it can get worse. Remember, if he wanted to he would.
I’m definitely grown more attracted to him over our relationship. When I was off of birth control our sex was a lot better but on birth control it feels more of a chore. Probably due to my low libido.
The problem with me going off of the pill is that it has helped stabilize much of my mental health. And if I go off of it , my previous struggles may come back again.
I don’t want to breakup with him and we had a period of time where our relationship was very difficult and we almost broke up. I came to the realization that I couldn’t imagine never having him in my life ever again. I’m not trying to push back , just providing more context and what not. This is a really difficult situation as well because I know that he would make a good father. I’d rather spend the rest of my life with my best friend than someone who I just had the hots for. You feel me?
Don’t gaslight her or make it seem like it was insignificant. She decides that. I know it sucks but just apologize and allow her to go through the emotions and accept her feelings. Just reassure her that it was a one time mistake, that you’ve regretted every day since.
She has issues with her period but i don't think is pregnant..
I don’t think you owe this guy anything, you aren’t betraying him, no need to feel guilty for jumping back in the game!
However, I think you need to reflect on if you’re ready to get back out there or not. You don’t want to jump into something and get hurt, and you don’t want to hurt anyone else like you were either.
What is it that you want? A ride to take your exam?
I can’t really tell what you want from him nor from this post.
I’m sorry you’re ill but he’s not a doctor or an Uber. If you’re so critical that you need 24/7 support, you should be in the hospital.
If he wanted to he would…he dosent want to move on with your relationship or move on without him
Updateme
I think she’s made her point clear and that you should move on. You admit you were the one that kept pressing her because you wanted to know more about this woman you somehow had a deep connection with after only 2 dates and less than a month speaking. She clearly didn’t feel the same way. You quizzing her about traumatic events on a second date, really is way too weird.
Let her leave. That's the most ridiculous and manipulative thing I've ever heard.
What would have happened if you asked him to contribute to the wedding? Would he break up with you? It doesn’t seem exciting because your the only one excited about the wedding.
As a man… I kinda like all women in almost all shapes and forms… as far as sex goes, i prefer curvy women (I'm married to one and I absolutely love it) as far as looking at women, I can look at all sorts of bodies…
My point is, this might not be the contradiction you think it is… in some cases it could be, yes, but not always…
Right? Also it’s a good thing OP is pretty….because she’s pretty lacking in the intelligence and self awareness categories.
Send pics of screenshots, block delete and move on.
I think empathy and compassion would be far more productive than “tough love” or shame.
It's a matter of principle.. If the genders where reversed you would be telling her to leave…so I don't buy anything you're saying about 'communication'
She fantasizes…about her ex He should leave her and let her be with her ex
Say it just like you typed it, “I don't think sleeping with other people is a good idea” and when he says why the only answer you have to give is I don't like how it makes me feel, the end. If he fights you guys on it get rid of him, there are 4 billion others you can replace him with
All that information aside, your post gave me the ick right off the bat. You invaded her privacy by contacting her boss. You acted like you could make the call about her work — whether that’s an actual work day, rearranging her tasks, and the kind of view her coworkers and boss have of her. You expected her to respond a certain way and had a blow up at her when she didn’t act accordingly. You place the blame game on her but then back pedal a little, like “I just wanted her to appreciate me,” as if to make us feel sorry for you. You leave out important information about the state of your relationship and why. You make it clear this entire spa day was about you and it seems like you wanted to go but didn’t want to/didn’t feel like you could go without her so you based her work day around your desire for pampering. And if we don’t know how long you’ve been together, it’s impossible to discern if this is a fresher relationship where this type of thing is uncommon or if it’s been decades and you’ve done this type of thing before.
I love surprises. I am also anxious. There is a time and a place. Two years ago, my boyfriend surprised me with a vacation for my birthday. I knew the dates and the weather so I could pack appropriately. The location was still a surprise. This was a good middle ground for us — being surprised but not triggering anxiety or a fight — and might be a good compromise in the future.
In the relationship world they call this gaslighting: psychological manipulating that makes the other question their own sanity.
Seems like a textbook example.
Dating different kinds of people is how we find our comfort zone. You now know that you're not a good match for someone who's highly fastidious. Doesn't mean he's a bad guy, just that he's not for you. Now you can take this data into the dating world and filter for people who share your more laid back life philosophy. So really it's a good thing that you've had this experience and can use your new wisdom going forward. Congratulations.
Out of interest, how did you eventually find out? (Just for people in similar situations who are being gas light by their partners)
I’m so sorry this happened to you. And that she took advantage of your mother’s kindness.
I did see her every other day for brief periods, she works long hours.
I asked her to unlock her phone and I read through the messages before she had a chance to damage control. There wasn't anything sexual in nature, mostly just getting to know you things.
Bruh. I would never leave my wife who is pregnant to go on a trip with a female I just game and chat with… definitely sounds like something else is going, and he has some hope to blow someone’s back out before the baby comes.
Or I can be wrong and it’ll be a completely normal trip with just chatting and gaming. Could happen, right?
Reading this post made me nauseous.
I hate women who manipulate via fake pregnancies. It's incredibly unlikely she's pregnant, but still doesn't bother with a test or time to tell, and uses it as an excuse to be an abusive c. Is she also really verbally aggressive to the kids if she's in a bad mood?
Friend, she is not borderline abusive, she IS abusive. This is not the right relationship for you.
Okay. I’m confused too. Are you talking to her coworker about her?