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You don’t deserve this pain his actions have put you through. I’ve been cheated on too, he was my first genuine relationship and things felt so good. I felt so comfortable to be myself with him and I really thought we were it. One day he offered to grab something I left in the car and I don’t know why but I looked through his phone while he was gone and discovered he was cheating on me. It was so surreal seeing solid evidence of him telling someone else he loved them. I was completely blindsided, never expected that from him.
When I confronted him he sobbed to me and said he felt so ashamed and I saw him delete several women from multiple apps because I was willing to give him another chance. Things changed after that, a couple months later I went through his phone again and he was still cheating on me and I decided I was done.
The cheating amplified my insecurities and gave me so much anxiety. I grew depressed and just feeling all sort of things. I overcame the depression but I still suffer from trust issues. It’s ruined my relationships with others and created an intense irrational jealousy within me. Cheating is fucked up on so many levels, cheaters are just cowards. It hurt so much.
My current bf is suffering because my jealousy and lack of trust affects us more often than it should. He’s so patient and understanding though and I can confidently say I love him more than I have ever loved my ex. It does get better you do find someone who wouldn’t ever want to hurt you that way. He knows that it’s my dealbreaker and I’ve made it clear I have zero tolerance for infidelity.
You deserve to feel loved and safe in your relationship. Don’t give this guy another chance, by ending things he will learn the consequences his actions have. And you deserve to put yourself first, he’s not the world. He’s shown you his colors and you’re so young and have a chance at finding the one who will truly value you. I’m sorry. I’d end things and get rid of anyway of keeping in touch. Blocking my ex helped me keep him out of mind. Hang out with friends, talk it out, let it out and take care of yourself ?
“Sorry babe, I know I slept with her but it didn't mean anything. Just curious to see how sleeping with someone else feels”. /S
To compliment a stranger without being weird is a tricky question!
Personally, if a stranger were to give me a compliment, I would prefer if it was kept simple and genuine, polite, appropriate and also that the person giving the compliment is confident.
Avoid making inappropriate comments or compliments that could be taken the wrong way. A compliment can be a great way to make someone's day and to brighten their mood.
Only men can’t , it seems married women can do no wrong
You also proved me right. Thanks for that.
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Henry apologized and was embarrassed, Alice believes it wasn’t meant with bad intent, and even Henry’s gf thinks the same. So other than maybe Henry forewarning bed mates that he tends to get grabby in his sleep, and to just slap his hands if he does, I’d say move on.
Clear cut case of sexual assault, he was 100% sober and knew exactly what he was doing. You need to file a Police Report immediately and let them take care of this. If you let him get away with it he will feel emboldened and do it again, and again to other unsuspecting girls and each time he will take it a bit further ……
He doesn't look to any underage pics of girls! I know because i can open his phone and he wouldn't do that because he's not a pedophile we just met in a complicated time
It's immature but I wouldn't say abusive.
Trust me, she already remembers it. Talking about the nude things is part of being in a relationship.
Yeah… I don't think this has anything to do with looks. Sounds like he thinks you're a mess because of alcohol but would have a lot more potential if you thought better of yourself.
If I had to give women ONE piece of advice, it’s this: STOP WORRYING ABOUT HURTING YOUR PARTNER’S FEELINGS. THEIR NEEDS AND FEELINGS ARE NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOURS! I’m really sorry you had to learn this lesson the nude way.
So, most people are going to tell you to leave this guy. And that’s not horrible advice, but in my experience, the way he handled this situation is mostly based on him watching a lo of porn where this sort of thing is totally normalized, and wrongly learning that this is the proper way to have sex, and wrongly learning that most women LIKE to be choked and hurt. Choking is EXTREMELY common now, and I’ve heard a lot of women complain that their boyfriends just suddenly start choking them without seeking consent, and not having any idea that they’re doing something wrong.
You should absolutely talk to your boyfriend about this. You should tell him that you do not like to be hit and you do not like to be choked. At all. Ever. Tell him that the sex was not enjoyable for you at all. Go back to kissing—because you enjoyed that part. If you want to do something more sexual, start with assisted masturbation (for both of you), rather than anything penetrative, until you feel a level of comfort with him again that you decide you even want to take it to the next level.
Do NOT let your desire to avoid hurting his feelings cause you NOT to have this conversation. Feelings get hurt. You’re both adults and if you’re old enough to have sex, you’re old enough to talk to each other about your sexual needs. Good luck to you.
This is not just the 'one that got away'. Fixating on his relationship and woshing for it to end is really obsessive. You really need therapy.
That sounds perfect! Brewery's are still a fun spot of mine with friends, even though I quit drinking.
Cool brewery's seem to always be so laid back and have great food.
Happy 40th!
Medically wise, please make sure you buy a new helmet. They should be replaced after taking an impact
I hope you find happiness, OP
I don’t think it will change her mind, but if you want to give it a try or just get closure, then you might as well.
She broke up because of things you do or don’t do, and this gift doesn’t address those (unless oneof those things is that you weren’t sentimental enough).
I have been in one of these kinds of relationships before and I can say: break up. He keeps wanting to get back together because finding new relationships can be difficult and scary. Instead he wants you to conform to his standards, please him, and do everything to make him comfortable rather than find someone closer by who is more compatible. These are attempts to hurt you, regardless of his overall plan of “bringing you closer” or not. He's being a piece of shit trying to find justifications for the fact he is clearly a shitty dude who doesn't know what he wants or how to really be in a relationship anymore.
Do not move in with him. Do not move to his country just for him. Just focus on yourself, break up with him, block him on as much as possible, and tell him to not contact you because you don't want to hear from him. It can be very hot but down the line you will be much less stressed and a lot happier.
Well, your ex husband obviously has no say in the matter. That said I do wonder if this is a good idea, but then again, life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.
If you want to have this baby, and you are prepared to raise it by yourself, no matter what your ONS promises you now. If you are able to raise this child alone… then why not?
I understand your concern, but this really isn’t your business. And I fear that if you keep going with us, he’s not really gonna choose you over her. I’ve seen guys do this when they weren’t very kind to somebody’s way to make up to them or maybe like in this case when they’re sick. But really, this is his journey with you if you guys are getting ready to get married or live! together, buy a house that’s another issue but until then, it is not your business.
I think you’re 100% right. This isn’t the only snafu we have had. He once said me asking him if he wanted to be with me was me “pushing a negative narrative” tbh it made me sad bc he doesn’t know what I’m thinking.
I did ask him a couple times and would get pissed when I did so?
Go talk to a divorce lawyer first, go over your options and how to leave him safely and protect your interests. Don’t tell your husband a thing about it until your lawyer tells you to.
Exactly! The telling didn’t have to happen at a party with people around but ever day OP waits it becomes a betrayal to his friend. It will of course hurt but ATLEAST she will know the truth.
And if it’s some personal open marriage thing then still. OPs friend will know that her old pal from high school is a real friend who does what’s right even if it sucks.
Just general tip: a gang bang with someone as intoxicated as they claim she was (or intoxicated at all) is just gang rape.
He’s lying.
Could be injecting between the toes and she doesn’t see it there.
Exactly this. For once OP girl u give me faith in humanity. Too many people undervalue themselves and stay with people like this.
He thought he could emotionally manipulate you into staying in his submissive Little fuck bubble of just being there for him when he wanted sex and that you would be so nude up for him that u would never actually leave if he didn't respect u.
He doesn't and he wont. He's mad now because he lost his little sextoy. Sorry for my wording bt thats how men like him think. He probably will apologize and then jst treat u the same way after getting what he wants again.
Find yourself a man that actually wants to be with you for more than just your body and convenience. You deserve better and I'm glad you know it. ?
Oh but really tell your friends to stfu. If they feel you are that heartless they can go date his dumbass then.
Right? I dont get the point.
Your boyfriend clearly has said nothing. That’s where your focus needs to be. You can cut them out of your life if you so choose. They treat you like shit and are disrespectful.
But logically your boyfriend won’t want that and I happen. If that’s the case, he needs to stand up for you. If he doesn’t, you have a decision to make. Good luck.
It’s not your job to teach someone how to be caring, especially how to be caring towards you. He has been with you for two years. He should know how to treat you by now as a partner. He either doesn’t want to know how to be caring towards you, doesn’t know how to be caring in a relationship, or just doesn’t love you. All options are fucking bad. I’m sorry, girlie. It sounds like you’ve been putting in a lot of effort into this man.
Is she getting professional help for this?
I realize what I said was a complete 180° from “I accept her for who she is”.
Yeah no. What you did was set a reasonable boundary.
The rules when it comes to anything sex related, that are between two adults, are simple: – Talk talk talk about it with an open mindset and no judgement. He opened up to you about something that's not easy for him to trust you with. Even if you don't want to participate in this type of play you need to be careful how you respond because it determines the level of trust he will have for you in the future – It's a two yes one no scenario, meaning it takes two yes for it to happen but only one no to stop. A no must be respected and accepted without further discussions or attempts at persuasion – Consent can be revoked at any time and means everything stops that instance.
Personally I see this as another kink and if this dynamic is something you both would enjoy and it stays in the bedroom I see nothing wrong with it. However since this particular kink can spill into everyday life I would make sure you don't end up mothering him always, unless you want to.
I never draw a conclusion about a persons character based on their sexual kinks, only about how they act when talking about them and acting on them.
I guess he just needed a new notch on his bed frame. He likes the hunt but discards his prey afterwards. You were just one of many… Block him. He's not worth it.
Bloody hell way to bury the lead. The LEAST of his red flags is him complaining about an odor and not giving oral. I dont see a single positive reason for you to be with this guy. Hes majority taking advantage of you and purposefully making you more insecure to keep you beside him. You deserve better.
You need to reread this properly and be less hostile.
She is the one that isn't communicating. OP said blatantly that the lack of intimacy is a problem for him and that sex matters. Its literally the title.
Mentral pains are monthly. They don't explain all of the time in between that. If shes having those problems then of course she needs to see a doctor; not shame OP for having his needs met in a relationship. There is nothing wrong with having needs in a relationship and insulting OP over it is over the line.
More so she needs to tell him what the issue is. Nothing in the post at all implies she told him what the issue is. If she did then he completely left it out.
It’s mad cliche but also 10 years older than her.
It’s mad cliche but also 10 years older than her.
Never move in with your mil nothing will go right
Sounds like he freaked afterwards. Unfortunately the term fwb implies that you two were just that…friends. Now that you declared your love to him, he might have gotten scared thinking that you're imagining a wedding dress, ring, and marriage with him. Sounds like you should leave him in the past and find someone new.
She’s an asshole. It’s plain simple. A diary is clearly private. It’s the most private. It’s explicitly and plainly private. It wasn’t a simple trespass. She wasn’t on your phone looking for the number of your favorite carry out and stumbled across something. She went looking through the most private repository. Then she took pictures. Then she lied about it. I’d be hesitant to continue a relationship with her.
I'm sorry, but your only real option is to break up. You don't want kids and she does, there is no compromise on that.
And if you are not sterilized, every time you have sex together, you run the risk that she's going to get pregnant and keep it, and there will be nothing that you can do about that.
There are lots of Childfree women your age who know they don't want kids, and then you don't have to date someone knowing that your relationship will end.