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He has outdated views on gender roles when it comes to household work. He fights with you about it, and doesn't take your views into account. He settles on “you need to try harder”. He SCOLDS you?!?
I mean, you've done the talking strategy and he's only dug in harder. Personally, I'd tell him it's 50/50 going forward or I'm out. And make a chore sheet to make the division of labor cleawr. This is guy who doesn't learn by talking, but by consequences. You're going to have this fight 10,000 more times in your life if you don't nip it in the bud now.