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could go great, could go terribly. worst case scenario you move out. online your life!
the only question really is if this guy is worth breaking your dads heart. if you go with your boyfriends wishes, then you can try to phrase it as nicely and sweetly and vaguely as you want to your dad, but he will know what’s really going on, dads just do. idk, you have to go with your gut on handling this, but i think being a good partner means wanting your partner’s close family members to like you and treating them like your own family out of the love that you have for your partner. it doesn’t sound like that’s a priority for your boyfriend, and he should be be doing everything he can to adjust to whatever minor annoyances he has with your dad.
Your post is very important but not for the reasons you might think.
The Good News is, in your case you have done an excellent job identifying an important area of growth and communication.
Lots of people who have not grown through their Social Awareness phase continue to use material from their teens and get EXACTLY the pattern you describe.
Human Intimacy NEEDS to be expressed on all Four Planes of Human Existence.
a.) Physical…..no explanation necessary
b.) Emotional……and I DONT mean “emotionally-charged behavior”. I mean the expression, understanding and acceptance for the feeling engendered by recognizing the traits in oneself and one's SO. Each and every one of us longs to be affirmed for how and why we are who we are. I did NOT say “acknowledged” or “validated”….thats the next step. Affirmations are communications we give ourselves and others encouraging the attitudes they bring to life. Women bring variant traits to men, which is how Affirmation becomes so important. Both men and women need this.
c.)Intellectual…… NOW we can talk about acknowledgement and validation since these are Cognitions and generally reflect on Outcomes relative to intentions. If emotion is regarding the persons “how and why”, Intellectual is validating the Way we are and how that brings good into our lives. Self-determination and autonomy, or independent thinking along with critical thinking are all indications a partner can hold their own and be a productive part of a bond and need to recognized for their qualities.
d.)Spiritual……..and I am NOT talking about going to church, although…oddly….. that could be one aspect. Our Spiritual plane is the keeper of our Beliefs the way our Intellect is the keeper of our thoughts and our Emotional plane the keeper of our feelings. Using intuition we seek to accept those views or positions for which we have no Concrete facts. If we had facts we'd be using our Intellect. Sometimes we have to take things at face-value and risk…..kinda like a high-wire act without the net. Our intuition helps us reduce the risk by weighing the value of a position without any actual evidence.
OK…..n ow I get down out of my pulpit.
Mr OP, you have a partner who would probably understand what I have written above with no problem. You, on the other hand may be scratching your head. Thats OK….you have the rest of your life to figure it out.
One Word of Advice:
Until you figure out and accept that your partner is doing all the right things that you need to learn….at least do your best to be a gracious “receiver”, ok? Nothing kills good intentions faster than Ingratitude. FWIW.
Sounds like you both are just incompatible and have grown apart. It doesn’t seem like she’s interested in a serious relationship. It fucking sucks dude, i would just move on and find a girl who’s more reserved (old-fashioned) and wants children. You seem like a hardworking guy who wants a family and she seems like she wants to party.
Your now ex-bf was very foolish to press the issue. He should've just let it be and keep enjoying your relationship. In something like half a decade, you and him would've gotten married anyway provided your relationship was still in a good place.
I suspect he wanted to tie the knot because he was afraid of losing you at some point. That fear itself made him push you very hot enough to make you leave him.
I think you did the right thing. You can't force relationships. You're 20 and he's 27. You two are at different life stages. It is natural for you to want to put off marriage and kids until late 20s/early 30s. Had he not pushed it at all you might have arrived at the same place at the same time. You can't be with a person who tries to force such huge decisions upon their partner while disregarding their input and good advice from everyone. It is more likely than not that you dodged a bullet. It's better to cut your losses sooner than later.
Take the dog to the vet to do a full scan to see if he have something broken and call the fucki$#& police on that psychopath!!! Do no wait to go to the police!! Your dog will be fine with you, it will take a while and he never be the same but give him all the love you can so at least he feels secure and loved
I am so sorry to hear that. Honestly, you deserve someone who wants to spend quality time with you. Its true we should have time for ourselves without our partner, its natural and healthy. But you should also feel supported, heard, and appreciated. You should never be in a relationship where you're the only one chasing and feeling invalidated. I hope you will be able to heal and move on to someone who will treat you like you deserve!
Look, I dislike fanservice but still liked My Dress Up Darling because least it had some reasoning to it (she needs to be measured etc). Similar with the hyper sexual chick in Chainsaw Man, that's fine, some people are super sexual. It makes sense for the character and that's not the issue.
It's the tons of anime that have creepshots of school girls asses and head sized tits that makes things very hot to watch. There's no agency from the characters there – it's just some pervert adding an upskirt of a child because ??? It's not the same thing. One I tried and dropped recently was Classroom of the Elite. Absolutely moronic and vile and full of unnecessary scenes and shots.
I’m athiest and she’s Muslim. Being athiest is the worst thing there is in Islam and marriage between the two is not allowed
Thanks, i got friendzoned in the end and I can tell she likes the attention :/
A good troll post needs to be at least 10 – 20% more believable than this.
Try adding more backstory and being a bit more subtle on your next attempt.
You’re gonna have to rebuild his sexual confidence because talking about past lovers to someone who has none shattered his confidence.
This is 100% correct. This is so true because he is 22! There are some definite things to avoid saying. But she has conveniently left the details vague. If we knew more about what she said, we could tell her if it was a rescuable situation, or not.
You have a husband problem exacerbating the child problem. You need to go to parenting classes, stat. BOTH of you. And put that kid in therapy. Until you set boundaries and punishments and STICK TO THEM, this child is going to continue running your life and acting like a terror. What happens when he gets big enough to do real damage and you two haven't curtailed this bullshit? There are enough entitled assholes in the world. Don't raise another one.
And you should have kept it up. Eventually, he will learn. It's not going to be a quick fix. You've taught him that being aggressive pays off. Now, he knows he only needs to do it for a week. You need to just stop buying them and deal with the consequences. We're trying to help, but your excuses are just causing you to sink more money into the problem.
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I'm currently in a relationship where I enjoy masturbation more than sex because my girlfriend has turned sex into such a chore. She wants a ton of foreplay beforehand and she's basically told me that she doesn't really enjoy sex despite hounding me for sex constantly. So it's turned into a mental issue where any time I think about sex it's just like why bother with this if neither of us are even enjoying it. She also claims she's freaky and down for anything, but then when I bring up kinky stuff she just writes it off and says all my fetishes are gross. This has made me less willing to open up and make myself vulnerable to her.
Scientifically proven ?? where? Girl you're making this harder for yourself. Sometimes people say things to be nice and maybe you would look good with blue.
Maybe just don't date someone who dated your cousin if you're this insecure
You’ll be fine, girl. He was starting to show his true colors. I’m telling you, you dodged MANY bullets
It’s also a dealbreaker for a lot of potential future partners, and also a very big thing to hide from potential future partners
My vagina has literally never been drier than reading all these wannabe fuckbois forgetting the part where she's a person with thoughts and feelings and the right to make her own choices. So damn glad I'm not 20 anymore
I guess the question OP asked was, is it ok? The answer is sure, but with a twist. Reddit and Twitter and TikTok are not representative of your average man/woman out there.
Meaning, while there are many circles that promote sex work online, finding a highly sought after mate after you've been a sugar baby becomes more difficult.
Not too long ago there was a thread about a woman complaining that as soon as her bf's find out she used to be a sugar baby they run for the hills.
Yes it’s rape. If both parties don’t consent it’s rape. Run
I am very sorry this is happening to you.
Or the way he treats YOU.
I wouldn't think you need to tell her. 17 & 20 isn't a significant age gap, and since you're not attracted to minors now that you're older, you're in the clear. But if you feel the need to tell her, then tell her.
Why she needs others when she have me!!!
You guys are in the honeymoon phase, and very likely both on your best behavior. Have you even farted in front of him yet? It’s OK to be smitten, but try to take a step back and realize that you don’t know him as a whole person after 3 weeks.
those are good points, thank u so much!
21 years and calling your mom? Id would have dumped him the first time that happened. But hey, you are still in time. Dump the child, cut the drama.
You need singlehood, not advice.
I am old but if I were starting over, I would keep my birth name & never take my husband's surname.
Well you've gotta be sure.
It's a tricky situation and you've got to think of the child. How would he cope growing up knowing he has a dad thays also an uncle. It could potentially all blow up in your face
Divorce. Mainly because there is no reason for you to be with your husband.
He doesn't want to share your pee play fetish, he's your secondary sex partner, he's so fucked up he gives away cash for affection. Just go. And do tell him to go to therapy.
I would stop being her “friend”. friends don't lie on each other. don't use each other as excuses, and sure as hell don't try to “baby trap” each other.
I would watch out, if she didn't come out one day, pregnant, and say it is yours. you 2 are so close and have been for years, she would totally get away with it until the dna test too.
she's planning a kid with you, that you have NO say in or even get to be part of the making of.
That's messed up on a whole different codependent level!
She gave him a bunch of photos and list of her preferences and he gave her the exact opposite of what she asked for.
Right? Like if muscles are what make you a man, then what are OP's friends? I assume they're not as muscular as the gf, otherwise they probably wouldn't be commenting.
Good god girl you gotta leave. It sounds like the first time wasn’t consensual????? What do you mean he didn’t tell you first?? He just shoved it in your ass?? I hope this dude has a tiny pecker cos going from 0-100 in the ass is painful and can cause damage!! Like wtf?!!! Take your kid and fucking run. This isn’t love or marriage this is slavery
I wish you luck and love. You're worth it!
I think I understand the situation you were in. Thank you for sharing your experience! It makes complete sense that it’ll be easier for everyone if I did not lie.
I'll try to do that. I really hope it helps… I really want to start over, to just go past everything we did wrong and now learned from it and just star over…
You should probably stop using words it’s excruciatingly apparent you don’t understand. That may be all of the words.
Thank you.
It’s so nude. I’m glad in a way some are saying do go and others are saying don’t. It reassures me that this isn’t as straight cut.
I like the option of skipping this but going next time although it might be best to just go along to “break the ice” as it were.
I’ll speak to her. I know it brings up pain but a lot of her pain is from people not being honest to her, so I think she deserves to know and will understand. Thank you
Oh darling, this has alllllll the red flags. It's not you, it's him. Genuine advice here being given by others – it's icky that he's 13 years your senior and already has you tied to him financially, talking about marriage after a few short months but not serious enough to meet his friends? Switch your brain on for a minute and see this for what it is. This is not healthy, it is love bombing, and you are headed down a dangerous road. Be aware of that now before it's too late.