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Honey,sweetie Dump his ass ffs ❤
Because he will never change and she will never just be able to accept it.
Also, a 43 YO man who follows IG models is criiiiinge. I was thinking this guy was early 20s or something.
She hasn’t cheated on me, these conversations were before we met. From what she has told me she made her accusations the day she got home. But continued messaging him after and talking about it for months afterwards, she told me she never wants to go back to the country it happened it but was inviting this man here. Everything about it is correct but also contradictory in every sense. That is why I’m having such a dilemma right now. But I was hoping someone with experience with trauma could give me some advice, so thank you
I think they are being manipulative. They can either have you in their lives or not, religion should have nothing to do with it. Stand your ground. Why would they want you to join a church and get married in it under false pretenses anyway? Typical toxic religion logic.
I'm so proud of you OP. Good on you for keeping your boundaries firm. Shame on your mom. And fuck Brad. I hope that guy gets hair lice for years.
You leave. I also have a temper but I never punched anything in my anger while my partner was present. His job does not excuse his behaviour towards you. He's angry at cats. Imagine what he would be like if you have kids.
hey that's unkind, OP had work. People can't always get off at the last minute.
If your wife kissed some dude you would be mad too.
Maybe go to a dr and get drug tested, hopefully you find the closure you looking for. Maybe try same drinks in a safe setting and see if you react the same way. Most likely some how your drink got spiked. If this isn't the case consult with a professional
Well at least SHE had the balls to tell you unlike the coward you are. You both need to grow up and learn to be adults in a relationship but at least she admitted her infidelities, you just want to play the victim when your just a coward.
Disgusting and 3 times no. Is this guy deaf? Don’t go out with him again.
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Don't waste your time bro.
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I’m not sure if I’m ready to settle down at 20 years old and for this to be the rest of my life.
quite reasonable to not want to settle down at 20, but bear in mind even if you stay with her that doesn't mean you are automatically committing your entire life to this relationship. lots of changes and growing up to do in your 20s.
An issue she was having? Or an issue her friend invented?
Sounds more like the friend playing a game.
Need to reel yourself in OP before you get hurt from this relationship. Your reaction was way over board and to me that is a sign of codependency issues/clingy. If you let yourself go there it’ll end badly for you, always have yourself in mind and don’t get lost in the feeling.
Go and see if a condition of his release/very short sentence was that he not be around children of a certain age. Your parents think it's over but maybe not. And if your brother falls victim to your uncle, what then? Your parents bury their heads in the sand again? Let another child be traumatized and the uncle be forgiven again?
Def tell her – I always say I’d want to know I was being cheated on. But def go with evidence.
how would i be able to make sure he’s safe aside from texting/calling? i can respect his decision to end things if he’s ghosting, but if so i don’t think another text would change anything lol? i don’t wanna seem clingy or desperate or whatever
You mean she wants you to have self control and not do it every day?
That's unreasonable to you?
Maybe I deserve that then, so be it. I wish I could take that back, but I needed to vent my frustrations, too. As to your point
– money is NOT tight.
– She missed 2 hours of work, not the whole day. I made sure she could still work most of the day.
– she's a service worker, it would be like passing off a til' to the next customer, not some office project. (not to devalue her work, but objectively speaking it is much easier to create separation from it)
– I didn't out her anxiety to her bosses. Sorry if I implied that.
That is actually a common thing with a lot of liars. They come right out of the gate asking for investigation, the police, offering to let you see their phones, their emails, etc. Then when you actually ask for those things, or press for an actual investigation, they suddenly clam up and claim it “isn't a big deal” or “they'd rather just forget it happened” or have a bunch of excuses about why they can't give you what they offered. They are banking on the fact that people go “if they were lying, they wouldn't be asking us to investigate, so they must be telling the truth” and letting the whole matter drop.
Women who do this are fucking scum.
Hii, thank you for the reply and the advice !! Can you elaborate on the last line??? I can’t seem to get the idea of what you want to convey clearly.
I swear bro
He’s a dick. But he has a point.
Uh, no. It's not for him to dictate what you are supposed to do. If he wants your brother's apartment paid for, let him do it.
Watching porn together and getting excited by scenarios that you really wouldn’t do is fine, and because you’re only watching, then you’re safe. But doing it in real life can be very different. We all have fantasies that flash in our heads and then they are gone (sometimes we find ourselves embarrassed or disgusted by what we watched). For now, enjoy some role playing and she will let you know if she wants to mix things up in the bedroom.
I think your insight is super meaningful and real. Thank you for assuming the best – because he really is a great person. I know for a fact he would apologize a lot, it’s just a roadblock I’m trying to overcome and I feel closer to that now.
You lost me at lying again and boyfriend in same sentence.
When is too much lying enough for you to stop calling him bf?
Yeah. This is very odd.
At the risk of being too confrontational… why are you with someone that belittles and invalidates your feelings so much? It sounds like you have made a lot of compromises having the guns in the home despite your very valid worries about them. Has he made any compromises in this situation? Does he give a reason why he can’t wait till you’re not there to handle the guns?
Also, is this how he acts in other areas of life. Are you the one that is always/mostly making the compromises and he just gets to do whatever he wants? Or is this the only issue where he is refusing to budge on.
We don't and honestly stopped using them after the first month we started officially dating. I don't think I would be about to hide my resentment if I had to start using them again after 10 years and going through a vasectomy with complications.
Nope totally Not bad. And since you both Ended things on bad terms I suggest not going back with him no matter if you love him or not
Have you heard the saying what comes around goes around? Eventually the deception will unfold. Why do you have to stay there 3 more years? I think if you are confident you should get a different job so you can find clarity. Get away from it so you can see from a different perspective. This is a mess on all levels. If he has kids it's even worse. But not less of an immoral decision.
This is not a “you” problem. This is her problem. If she's simply passively having a conversation without having gotten your attention first – especially knowing how your attention works – then it's on her.
Now, if you know she's talking to you and you find yourself drifting or not paying attention, then it's your problem to address.
yeah how dare people choose a childfree life. wont someone please think of the children!!1
He told me when we broke up that objectively our relationship is perfect and there is no reason to break up, that there is nothing bad he can say about me or our relationship. He simply doesn‘t feel the spark anymore like he used to.
For the love of God, and in the name of all things holy please break up with this AH. Save yourself. You deserve so much better. A good man would never treat you this way. My husband knows about my past history of abuse and would never ever ever pressure me for sex.
plan your exit. keep evidence. stay safe. put important papers where you alone can get it. stop buying stuffs and start making a list of what you will get rid of. consolidate your friends and family support. prepare to a rapid leave (a week-end or less). have a secret haven. show signs of depression to justify your change of behaviour.
My bet is that she is cheating and is projecting. Or she want to provoke you to divorce her so that you are tge guilty part and she is the victim.
You are so young. Why stay in a unhappy marriage and waste your life? You deserve so much better. And you are together since being a teenager. Since then you both changed so much. You aren't the same people as back then. And mostly you grow in different directions.
I don't know any other details about your relationship so I won't say that you should immediately dump him, but if he holds “traditional” views in other ways too I'd head for the hills. “Traditional” is usually code for sexist and regressive.