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Your ex sounds like a thoughtful, mature adult so tbh I doubt that he’s still around because he’s trying to “scare you” or “punish you” like your friends suggested.
The fact that you’re finding it so very hot to believe that someone would end a relationship over one mistake speaks to a bigger difference in your and your ex’s values. There are some things I would never allow to happen in my own relationship and yes, it would only take one time for it to happen and I would throw over a decade together out the window. However…
As I was reading it, I was pointing out in my head how it wasn’t one mistake. My take on this is exactly as your ex’s. It was a broken promise over something he feels strongly about, in front of him and he ended up cleaning up the mess and taking the emotional hit of your bad trip.
While my own stance on drugs is much less strict, if I bring it down to values, he did the only healthy thing. He knows he doesn’t trust you now so he ended a romantic relationship in a civil way.
Take it as a lesson and date people who have values and beliefs similar to your own. That would help avoid a lot of heartbreak.