My husband (m29) gave me (f26) an ultimatum. Stop people pleasing or we’re getting a divorce. How do I even respond?

This is my first time ever posting here and using Reddit, so please bear with me.

My husband and I met 7 years ago at the same university, started dating a year after that, and have been married now for two. Other than this one issue, we get along very well and are generally really happy and good with each other.

I will admit that I do have people pleasing issues. I’m not really sure why, I think I’m just overly nice. My husband and friends have told me I can be a “doormat” to people. I always apologize first, I don’t tend to argue with people, and I have been known to go out of my way to do something not explicitly necessary. I know this about myself. My husband clearly knows this about me too, as I’ve always been this way. He’s encouraged me to figure out why I’m this way, and one time a long time ago he yelled at a “friend” of mine who was taking advantage of me in that sense, but that’s about it.

I’m also a pediatric oncology nurse at a really large hospital in a central city in my area. As you can imagine my job is pretty taxing, emotionally and physically. I recently got a new charge nurse and she’s not very nice. I complain to my husband often about it.

Last night, I was laying in bed doing like absolutely nothing. My husband comes into the room, so stressed and angry looking, and snaps at me “you need to stop being such a fcking doormat, or I have to leave. seriously, (my name), it’s getting fcking annoying.”

I was shocked and also confused, since we hadn’t been talking about anything like that. I asked him what he meant, and his tone did make me immediately tear up. My husband has never yelled at me like that before, blatantly rude and cursing at me. He rolled his eyes and told me “your job, your friends, this marriage, all you do is lay down and let people walk on you.”

I said I don’t mean to do that, and I’m sorry, but he just stormed out of the room after that. He left to work so early this morning we didn’t even have a chance to talk. He sent me a text this morning, all it said was “I’m sorry. We’re gonna talk tonight.”

Like what does that even mean? I’m so distraught, I can’t believe that he yelled at me like that. What am I even supposed to say now? I mean going to therapy if that’s what he really wants me to do, but I doubt I’m gonna change. I’ve always been this way. Is my marriage doomed then?