My (34F) boyfriend (36M) picked up another girl in front of me and thinks I am over reacting!
Friday night date night with my(34F) bf(36M) (let’s call him Lee) last night. We walked to a local bar had a couple of drinks, he had a few more than me. I was sober and he was tipsy at least but didn’t seem super drunk. We were having a good time, playing board games and sharing some pizza. Before we left to go home, he wanted to have a smoke so we went upstairs to the smokers balcony.
He bummed a cigarette and started chatting to a group, 2 guys 1 (drunk) girl approx 32F, let’s call her Bree. I was kind of on the peripheral but still standing right next to them (I don’t smoke). Somewhere along the way Lee and Bree realise they have the same birthday (4 years apart) and seem to bond over this. She hugs him and they are both a bit over excited by this discovery. At some point they decide how fun it would be to get drinks sometime (because of the bday thing? Not sure) and he gets her phone number. Then he prank calls her, so that she has his number. Wtf? She hugs him a bunch more times (drunkenly) and even ends up kissing him on the lips. I didn’t see the kiss but he told me later on. They were already too close for my comfort, hugging at least 6-8times in the space of 10mins. They finally leave and so do we.
I’m pretty upset while we walk 20mins home. Lee does this thing when he knows he might be in trouble he acts like a child, so he was running around the street at 1am trying to be funny and I wasn’t buying it. When we got to his house, I sat down for 5mins while he brushed his teeth and then I told him I was going to catch an Uber home. I told him I wasn’t feeling great and I wanted to go home. He was surprised but let me go. I didn’t want to get into it right then and there because he’d been drinking and I was sober and no point fighting when one person is drunk. So I told him I’d talk to him tomorrow. In the Uber home I told him I didn’t feel great about how he had behaved with the girl (because he kept asking what was wrong) and that my feelings were hurt.
Honestly I’m not upset about the drunk girl. I’m upset that he couldn’t get himself out of the situation with the drunk girl and that he got her number and gave her his number – wtf for? When I asked him about it, he said he didn’t want to be rude or be the fun police and kill the vibe by telling her to back off. This made me more upset that he would rather my feelings get hurt than some random girl he has never met before. I told him he had his priorities all wrong. Makes me wonder what would have happened if I wasn’t there? Would it have gone further? My boyfriend is a massive people pleaser (wants to be liked) so I can see this influencing his behaviour, but You can be nice to people without behaving like you are picking up some drunk girl in front of your girlfriend??
What should I do? What would you do? I’ve explained my side to him, he thinks I am over reacting. My feelings are hurt and I think I deserve to be treated with more respect. Advice please? Thanks
submitted by /u/CuriousGal2020
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