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Thanks for your responses. We split the responsibilities in morning evening with the children based on schedules. I think like most couples we did do things together. I made some big efforts during early teen years as there were struggles with the kids, I always struggled with that because I would do some things like write notes, actually did a small book, and I'd give it to her and it was typically not the expected response, I would bet she doesn't even know where that book is now. I will say the last year or so I've reduced those actions as it seems I say or do the wrong thing most of the time. Maybe it's me…
is he stupid?
Because he already spent 12 years helping raise a kid and knows how much it sucks. He doesn’t want round 2. But enjoy those first couple years of poopy diaper explosions and no sleep.
This should be the top comment. I’m a woman and as someone in a serious relationship, you’d never catch me getting wasted at a party hanging out with my guy friends to begin with. She broke a boundary to begin with is the point.
Wow this would really eat at me too. I would force that conversation. Tell her “yes you can do whatever you want with your inheritance. My concern is your unequal treatment of our 3 kids. The 3 that I provide for equally …”. If she doesn’t see your kid as equal there is a much bigger issue than this college money.
Baby girl get an abortion. Book it TODAY.
I can’t even imagine caring about my wife as little as you care about yours.
She sounds like an incredibly nice and naïve person who is being taken advantage of.
OmG that man is trash!!!I am so glad you left. Don't worry things will get better
This is the way. You have to decide for yourself what your values are. I know for myself I wouldn’t want to share my SO with anyone, however I have a few friends that see the world different and have very established families and they see that type of relationship as who they are.
I admit I could be isolating myself, so maybe that is how they feel. Thanks for that perspective!
Your husband needs to deal with her appropriately, including sending her back home if you don't want her there, or if she isn't behaving well, or if she is going crazy with the children. That's all.
Thank you. ❤️
The boy isn't respecting you or your boundaries. He's not the one. X
So your basically saying you won’t allow him to masturbate? Come on, that is a basic human function and non of your business to tell him not to do it
You are 100% setting him up for future legal trouble and/or getting his little ass beat when he tries to throw hands at the wrong person. Either way, you are doing him zero favors and failing him as a father by ignoring and excusing his abominable behavior.
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Say something. It affected you and your feelings are valid. Also his brother sounds like a sleaze. Open and honest communication is the most important thing in a relationship, dont sweep it under the rug. Not a small thing.
I don’t have her. I removed her as a friend but she must still have me as a friend and snapped me . I can’t take myself off her friend list
Because he loves his child and fiancée. Sorry but if someone loves any pet more than their SO, they are not the people I wanna associate with.
MY TIME HAS COME!!! I love the topic of whether or not you should double text and I think you've been pretty spot on so far.
SMS text messages are a pretty bad form of communication and she very likely might not have received the text. I would text her back something along the lines of “Hey, just wanted to see if you got my last text. Hope your holidays were nice and break is going well :)”
If you're on Instagram or something, that's a different story tho. It honestly sounds like you two share chemistry and this time of year is VERY busy. She might have seen it and accidentally lost the notification. If she doesn't respond to your other text, I would just let it go for the time being. If she wants to talk to you, especially when school starts, she'll text you.
You have no idea how she was in his fantasy, you can't see in his head, his imagination isn't a photocopier. Like literally everyone has said, you're way off base
Then do it, pay for it, and stop asking your family or the internet for answers.
It was on a website for meeting people around the world but in the preferences section of who to talk to he had specifically only marked “flirting and romance” not any of the friend ones.
It was a lot of flirtation and sexting – explicit messages/photos/videos/voice notes. There was no indication of meeting up in person as they appeared to be from other countries.
But he did give his number and social media out to several people to continue their chats and “share videos”.
She needs to grow up..
I've seen like 10 cheating posts in the past 2 days. Is January confession month or something?
You didn't invite her onto your brother inlaws penis. They are two adults. Your brother inlaw is the POS here. Does your sister blame you?
Nothing past simple stuff like what her first words were or what kind of toys did she used to play with.
Yeah, I bought some over sized band t shirts to sleep in so I was with the wife until her daughter’s boyfriend comment. That’s super weird.
Oh hell no! Don't throw your money away on her money pit of a family.
Honestly, if my partner asked me that, I'd have walked away laughing at their audacity. Also she's asking you to send twice as much as she does? Nope. At best, I'd offer to pay for financial counseling for her mother.
This is, in no way or form, a healthy confession when it centers around harming you in any way so please do not be gaslighted into thinking that you are interpreting this incorrectly. Please dump him and don’t bother doing it in person. You have every right to feel devastated because he literally admitted to wanting to hurt you. He is not a safe person to be around. He needs help with those kinds of thoughts.
Why does she feel the relationship is unstable ?
I laughed
Pack her bags and put them outside the door. That doesn't require her to acknowledge you at all.
Leave it alone, bro. That’s how cease & desist notices are handed out.
I worry about the extra responsibilities because I am responsible for us both right now and it finally got too much for me to handle as life goes on more and more responsibilities come
Yeah, if the boss told him not to tell anyone he should have said that he absolutely HAS to discuss a major decision like this with his wife and that she could also sign an NDA. Not being comfortable buying a business without talking to your spouse seems very reasonable.
He’s not being a partner or a lover to you. He’s a slob.
Unfortunately there are a limited number of free sessions at my university, and their therapists have been awful to me. I definitely do need therapy, but I've just been belittled by every therapist I've gone to and it's made me even more anxious about the process.
For SURE missing missing reasons here. I’m guessing a frequent pattern of these types of comments and, now daughter is an adult, she has realised she can make the choice to be in his company – having already explained her discomfort and unwillingness to accept it and getting nowhere. She’s giving OP a boundary and not only has she clearly explained why, I think OP probably already knew it. Accept it or lose your daughter is what I see.
Since we ARE strangers it’s unlikely SIL is aware of it. I’m wondering whether the party has happened yet, also wondering if it was a given that OP would be there and that an invite wasn’t needed? I’m arranging a retirement party for my husband in august. Some people will have to be invited as we don’t see them often but my usual friends are just taking it for granted they’re invited, and of course they are!
Not being instant doesn’t make it equally as hard
It doesn’t sound like she knows how bad reflexes can get when a person is drunk. If she just brushes you off when you try to talk with her about it, there’s not much you can do.
Sorry that I misinterpreted the drinking. It’s been so long that I had forgotten how it can be at your age. lol
You were unable to get yourself a chair for some reason?
That sounds like the movie The Hand That Rocks The Cradle.
You are making an issue out of something people have told you is not an issue. You expressed that you didn’t like being edited, his mother apologized and he counseled you to delete it and let it go. Let it go. If it happens again, I can understand being more upset but now you’re projecting because he doesn’t tell you you’re beautiful when you needed to hear it.
If you want to be complimented, ask him to compliment you in the way you want to hear.
him not saying anything positive when you need him to say it does not mean he doesn’t think you’re beautiful. You cannot rely him for your self image though. Go to therapy and stop making a big deal out of nothing. He is with you and did what he could to resolve the situation
I have no idea to be honest..
What does moving out “to find herself” really mean? Because I immediately think of that meaning she wants to explore other people and experience different things. And she can’t really do that if you’re still living together. I’m guessing, since you guys got together at such a young age, she probably didn’t have to opportunity to do this beforehand.
Selling your house really drives in the point of you guys likely not making it. Not only is she separating herself from you, by moving out, but also trying to get rid of the one big thing you built together. Housing has gone up so much in most places. I don’t think it’s wise to leave the housing market because it’ll be harder to get back in. See if you can buy her out, that way you still have your home, even if she leaves.
The first example is not cheating. The second instance is a reason for you to you went ahead and married him? Girl gtfo your marriage is doomed
It seems like you just have a lot of unresolved trauma that you need to discuss with someone equipped to deal with it. You have to remember, your partner is there to help you, not to be someone you can just dump everything on. At a certain point it becomes extremely difficult to continue being someone's sole source of support, especially when it comes to the level of support you need.
This is why there is a whole profession dedicated to people who can help be an outlet for that. If you have lost friends because they can't handle what you're telling them, then how can you expect your partner to be any different?
It's much like caretaker fatigue. As a person you can only handle so much. You need to figure out other resources that might be available for you to help you out. Expecting him to just be there for you 24/7 while it's just constant negativity (and again the source of the negativity is not your fault), is a bit much.
you always need a prenup!
You could consider couples counseling but he sounds like the kind of guy who expects a woman to defer to his judgment. Perhaps it’s cultural but honestly, cultural or not, he sounds like a jerk.
Can't wait for all the passive aggressive comments you're going to make
Why is he constantly checking the temperature in the room?
Sounds like you don’t want to be with him but you’ve been warned. The next guy might not gaf about your depression. I think you need to work on yourself. You can’t be doubting your own thoughts in depressive episodes and string someone along in the process. Yikes. I Don’t know too many guys that take depression seriously or even attempt to help you. Bc yeah, obviously nothing can help at the time, or so it feels, but the fact that he cares is something. But it sounds like you have your mind made up already. May I suggest a cat? That helped me when I was suicidal bc I would wonder “who’s gonna take care of my cat if i died?” I don’t know a lot but I do know you can’t pour from an empty cup and you sound bone dry.
300 k for a down payment??
Why not get a house you only have to put down 25k and save while making house payments???
Tell future hubby do not barrow. Your setting your selves up for loosing everything.
You cant “break up” with a husband like that. Thats a whole divorce.
I'm struggling with “from a period we weren't really in touch” it's really confusing me. I don't feel like you're referring to puffer jackets circa 1965. Like you're referring to 5 years ago yeah? Are you saying you weren't in touch with your girlfriend 5 years ago or are you saying society has progressed in that time. Please enlighten me.
It's supposed to be his birthday and fun for him. You are actively making it not fun for him, and all about what you want.
Please, you've sorted the venue and the cake, the guests know where to go. That is more than enough to meet his needs. Let him live. This isn't the hill to die on.