My boyfriend (27M) revealed he got a happy ending massage. I (27F) broke up with him and I’m second guessing my decision. What should I do?

I (27F) and my (ex) boyfriend (27M) have been together for 3 years. He confessed that he went and got a happy ending massage while I was out of town a couple of weeks ago. I pressed him for details and he revealed the woman was hot on top of him, that he touched her, and she gave him a hand job and sucked his d*ck. I was completely horrified to hear this. I consider this cheating obviously. He feels terrible and ashamed and hates himself. He doesn’t understand how he could do something like this. He admits he watches a lot of porn and says it has messed with his head and his expectations when it comes to sex. Breaking up with him was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I love him. I’m completely heartbroken and devastated. I know he loves me. He begged me not to end it. The thought of losing him forever is extremely painful. But I’ve lost respect for him. I don’t know if I could trust him again. I would feel embarrassed to stay with him given I’ve told my friends and family what happened. I don’t know how I could move forward with him with any dignity knowing he did something so disgusting. I’m so conflicted. Help

submitted by /u/dramallama23
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