I [29f] kissed my BF without permission, he [33m] flipped, how can I calm him down?

Hi reddit,

I'm sorry if this seems disorganized. I'm quite distraught.

I have been with my boyfriend whom I will call *Ted, for 5 months. We have slept together once which was a month ago. It has been very slow and I've been mostly happy with it.

Ted told me he hasn't been active in about 2-3 years. He said he does go on dates but he hasn't had enough luck.

Before I talk about last night, I need to give you some history.

When we were first intimate, Ted made a huge deal about asking for consent. He asked "can I kiss you? can I touch you here? Is this okay?" it was really great until later on. It seemed like we hit a point and he became really rough which included some slapping and other things that were a bit intimidating. At the end he said "I'm such a nice guy, how did you feel about the consent? It seems like you enjoy rough things."

It seemed weird to me at the time but I shrugged it off.

One day Ted came over and said that he wants to take things slow. We were laying together and he said "I would love to touch your beautiful body, but right now I won't." He said it's important that we develop a "deep, deep bond of trust." I wasn't allowed to get that close to him before he said he had to go. He promised next weekend we would be intimate and he'd come over for longer.

So last night we went for lunch. He came up for a bit and announced he had to leave. I asked him to please stay and that I had really missed him the last month. He agreed to sit down and of course, we kissed. I asked him if he felt okay and he said I did. Things escalated before he sharply yelled for me to stop and put my clothes on. Then he said that I was being disrespctful and not listening. He said that "maybe youre sleeping with other men, you can't do that with me. Just think about the future when we can be intimate together."

I started crying because it was so so frustrating. He would kiss me for a bit, stop, yell, and then start again. I didn;t understand. Suddenly he stood to go and I begged him to stay, begged him for more than just an hour together and he refused. He became so angry and I tried to hug / kiss him and he yelled even more.

Finally he texted that I am very disrectful and non-consensual. I have been bawling. I asked him to try and talk and apologize and he has refused.