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All of this !
I will add, to the OP: 3somes require an immense amount of trust that can make the connection with your partner so much more intense. Him just asking you required a great deal of trust and confidence in the strength of your relationship. He is opening up and being vulnerable with you in sharing his fantasies.
Your shutting him down in a defensive manner can kill any chance of him sharing that side of himself with you. Be careful how you communicate.
I am a man who has lived the poly life with women and no other men. It's called polygyny. It's not the same, nor is it that I fear one of my partners would catch feelings. For me, it's simply that I do not like to share in that way. If my partners don't want to share the relationship wouldn't work.
I hope this helps and provides a slightly different lens.