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Came to say this too OP. He needs to go. He needs to understand her behaviour isn’t normal or healthy. He needs to understand how she has manipulated him, for what I would guess is, his whole life. You will always be the bad guy until he can get an outside confirmation. I would bet he has deep trauma he is unaware of as a result of her Mothering as well. Maybe start with some research and easing him into some information or books and articles that may open his eyes enough to maybe explore the possibility. Does he suffer guilt or insecurities or have characteristic he fights about himself that can be attributed to his upbringing? Find a way to explain them so he can see her impacts on his own mental health. I’m 100% certain they exist in him if this is how she treats you.
Your boyfriend is disregarding your feelings and making his friends who are disrespecting you the victims and you the bad guy. Welcome to the rest of your life.