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Model from: fr
Languages: fr,en,de
Birth Date: 1998-03-13
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureGlamour
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Wedding date isn’t set yet, but looking at Dec 2023. Honestly it’s more because we are mid 30s and know we do want to settle down and have kids and are in the position to do so.
She said she already moved out and isn’t talking to him, kind of sounds like she doesn’t want anything to do with him. Idk why he’s still trying to make it work
i dont really want to put a timeframe on it but also how many dates or how long would you say is a good time to be official?
Girl run away please for the love of yourself run the hell away from this man
Gotta love the mental gymnastics of religious people. “I'm religious so I'm keeping the baby.” Um, doesn't religion also say not to have sex outside of marriage? ?
You're 30. You're old enough to know better. Time to put on your big girl pants, especially if you're hellbent on keeping the baby because that child deserves someone that has her stuff together and stops letting things just happen to her without taking responsibility.
Tell him there's no easy way to say this, but as (I'm guessing here based on your post) neither of you used birth control, the dice didn't roll in your favor this time, and you're pregnant. (And if you really didn't use birth control, also get an STI test. It's obviously not his first time, if he has a child already.)
“i was ok with the breakup” she knows best! everybody is different. don't backseat drive somebody else's life.
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Dump his cheating ass. He got another woman pregnant and she MIGHT get an abortion. There’s no second change in that. He sucks.
Even if they can't get a cash refund as least get a travel voucher. Make the most out of the travel money
I wish I could upvote this comment 100 times!!
This guy might be a narcisist
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She didn't come clean immediately, you should see the last post of OP's comments.
I'd leave. He has his mother there to keep him company and it's clear that he was involved with her. You already have spent time to make sure he got to hospital safely. You are way stronger then me I would of politely dismissed myself right away. I would refuse to be emotional support for him in anyway I'd feel bad for his mother though if we were close. What about recovery are you okay with staying that amount of time? I wouldn't want to be a caregiver of someone I could hold resentment towards. I'm so sorry this situation is awful ?
I have tried to come up with ideas to better our communication but I feel like she thinks they are stupid, she doesn't want to try to come have way with these ideas. And when I try to ask how she thinks we could make it better I feel like she just expects me to get better
She’s also helping him to not despise his father. If dad is crushing him and rubbing it it ( he seems the type ) then she’s also making him feel not as crap by winning when dad can’t. Dad seems definitely the type to say ‘oh your mom only lets you win because she loves you’ if she ever told him the truth whereas this way he still has that bit of confidence that at least dad sucks at something.
This is the future generation?
And society wonders why men struggle to open up and express their feelings emotions when women like Op girlfriend exisit.
Okay well I'll keep that in mind but there was no need to come at me like that. I've never been in this situation before, I care about him a lot. Thats why I came to reddit to get an outside perspective before I did or said anything I might regret.
I think he should express how important having kids is to him for sure. If that’s a dealbreaker for the relationship then “I might want a divorce if we don’t have kids” is quite a bit different than “if you won’t do IVF” as there are other options. I do agree that OP needs to advocate for herself, there’s only going to be more to advocate for if she ends up pregnant. I just don’t want to discredit that her voice may be overpowered by her husband in this situation.
I would say that this should have been discussed long before now, but they obviously weren’t aware they would have fertility issues.
it sounds like your coworker is a better person than your husband, my reaction to the title was “no shit you shouldn't keep a baby from a ONS” but after reading what you wrote
fuck your husband and is weird family. divorce and live! your life, raise your child, and find someone who loves you.
I think a more important question is why are you hinging your happiness onto a relationship that *is not healthy** if it keeps going on and off multiple times? There comes a point where you need to tell yourself that *it's done. Toxic relationships should not be the end game. Love isn't enough, dude.
INFO: Are the twins older or younger than you? Were you conceived before your parents wedding?
just want to clarify, i don't have feelings for my ex, and i know jay deserves better, but i think i can be better. i just want to know how i can rebuild trust. thanks for the thoughts
Show him your post.
Thid is like the guy telling his girlfriend she smelled to keep make her insecure and therefore staying with him.
You are pulling your weight. It isn't about what you do or don't do, it's about making you feel bad about yourself and pushing you to constantly feel inadequate.
Take the recommendations of the other commenters and look into abusive relationships.
She is encouraging you to be young and have fun. Maybe she loves your bf but nonetheless doesn’t love the idea of you giving up your youth and freedom, even for a prince. Maybe she has regrets for how she didn’t socialize enough in her youth. I wouldn’t be so quick to take it as a personal attack on your bf.
The only female friend there started the whole situation. The whole group, boyfriend included, thought it was hilarious to embarrass you. Do you really need to think about staying with him or not?
The only female friend there started the whole situation. The whole group, boyfriend included, thought it was hilarious to embarrass you. Do you really need to think about staying with him or not?
The only female friend there started the whole situation. The whole group, boyfriend included, thought it was hilarious to embarrass you. Do you really need to think about staying with him or not?
The only female friend there started the whole situation. The whole group, boyfriend included, thought it was hilarious to embarrass you. Do you really need to think about staying with him or not?
And can you imagine what would have happened if I refused to use the money on the house we wanted for our future even though I had it? That probably would have been the end of my relationship anyway.
I said in the post that I wouldn’t perpetually expect him to pay more, it’s literally in the last line about my current earning situation.
What’s changed is that neither of us expected to have as big of an earning gap as we do now. It would be more difficult for him to pay more or pay me back if he was still on his old salary… i wouldn’t have wanted him to use a large part of his disposable income on paying me back as well as his share of the bills. The salary he has now is far above national market rate for his profession, so couldn’t have been expected.
I appreciate your input, but I had already made my mind up on not being shafted both ends, just wanted advice on what people thought was the fairer side.
Fair enough!! My bad if the original wasn't clear enough. My girlfriend and I don't shut down in quite the same way as OP (or you) but when we know the other person is upset we ALWAYS ask “do you want to talk about what's bothering you, or do you need time and space?” Imo it's common courtesy and should just be a normal part of couple communication. If she (or I) behaved how OP's boyfriend did with the cold shouldering and refusal to even ask for space/acknowledge something is wrong and time is needed, our relationship simply wouldn't last… and that's true of most relationships I think.
I wish this was something that was taught on a societal level tbh. I think many of us grew up with parents who refused to permit personal space to calm down and instead insisted on immediate confrontation/”getting to the root of your problem” and there's a lot of trauma because of that which can cause lashing out when someone does poke the bear (which btw I think is a super cute way of communicating that she acknowledges your needs). I think if more kids were raised knowing it's okay to ask for space and take the time they need to process, this wouldn't be such an issue.
Im going to be honest, she does not sounds great at all. She sounds like my mother, spending mpney she doesnt have in innecesary things… Im asure you that with time it will get worse because you are enabling her…
Better be alone that with a bad parther… jus saying…
GAG is the only correct response here.
Ew
Only you can really determine this bc you're living in it
But I personally become alarmed if a grown man is into kids
Legal or not a highschooler is a kid when it comes to your/my age.
Makes you wonder how he met her…
Also remember no one makes a woman do anything, so if that one chick left her husband, that was her choice. Sure he could have been manipulative, but that's your choice to determine.
The pussy parade he has gone thru in town is also a flag.
Just a tip from experience, he needs a lot of everyday validation that’s not connected to any performance. At all. You need to constantly remind him that he has intrinsic worth that makes him worthy of love.
Also, do not seek CBT. Doesn’t work with splitting. Good luck.
I do not understand why you chose to have more kids with this man. Take some accountability, you allow him to treat you this way and you know it. Hide money and get out.
Something about this really makes me think he wants to be able to financially abuse you.
Personally, I'd consider this a red flag.
You are enabling him to continue but brushing it under the rug, tell him to leave as you can no longer trust him, also tell him you will be speaking with a lawyer and unless he shows a lot of effort I.e counciling, you will be proceeding with the divorce… your drowning yourself to keep this man afloat and he will never change unless you do something drastic because at the minute you confront him then he apologises and that's it, kick him out or you leave
By reading her profile it looks like she had an affair with her best friend…
You’re young and will make many new friends. But you’ve outgrown these old friends: their values aren’t consistent with yours. Time to go your separate ways.
And 29 days ago they were married for 12 years, then 8 days ago they were together for a decade and married for half
LEAVE! Do it as safely as possible but leave
LEAVE! Do it as safely as possible but leave
she is the love of my life
Then proceeds to cheat??♀️