I get it, thank you for clarifying, I apologise for being ignorant. It is really interesting what 15 years of being in the EU could mean for people. Let’s hope more countries on the continent join sooner or later so we can build a better future for everyone ^
While I agree with you I find it very telling when so many of the comments are supportive of OP while in the reverse case (woman wants to keep the baby, man wants nothing to do with it) he's automatically a deadbeat scumbag.
OP 100% owes child support but nothing beyond that. There wasn't any legally binding contract she could have made to get out of that obligation other than by giving up her parental rights via adoption.
No, many woman understand that 2 months is hardly even a relationship. If your relationship has been shorter than some company return policies, you need to chill out and just enjoy it for a minute.
They already discussed that they both want marriage and kids in their lives, so they have values in common, that’s all that is needed for now. 6 months I think is a more stable time to start comparing timelines and collective goals. Make sure you truly like the person in the present before getting so wrapped up in the future.
As someone who was married to my ex for 10yrs, I understand that change can be very hot. You two have built your life around each other and you thought that things were fine until they weren't. You have a chance of rebuilding though. This time you can make things how YOU want them to be though. There would be no compromising, no pleading, and no cheating.
It is definitely going to hurt, but can you truly see yourself staying with someone who lies to your face, has broken your trust, and is possibly putting your health at risk while she sleeps around? Now is the time to sit down and think about this sort of thing. If you confront her then there's a slight chance that she'll be remorseful and stop so you two can repair your relationship, but sadly cheaters often fall back onto old habits and will continue cheating.
Right now it's best for you to focus on yourself. Plan for the future ahead of you whether she's in it or not. If anything, have an exit strategy in place in case things do go south. Be careful though. When my ex left me for another woman he tried his hardest to break me by blaming all of our issues and his cheating on me. More than likely the issue lies within the cheater though so don't let it get you down. I wish you the best of luck. I'm here to chat if you need someone who has been through something similar.
Just get him to text you when they are there for lunch. Happen to drop in to see your old buddy Joe. What a coincidence. Oh who's this. Must be a business meeting right. Oh after Joe mentioned you meet that guy there every week. Should I know about this?
IDK, I do not recall myself or any of my friends having jealous fits about our bfs pillows back at the age of 19. She also threatened to kill him if he leaves (revealed in a comment). There are something’s that can be attributed to and excused by age, I don’t think this is one of them.
This sounds super frustrating and annoying. I’m sorry that you are going through this.
I would personally approach this with biting humour and ironic anger. When someone makes a comment, turn it around as best you can. Pretend that they are being rude for the opposite reason. If someone makes a comment about the age difference, throw something like
“Hey! I may be younger than her, but that is no reason to judge my wife. She waited until I was old enough to consent before hitting on me.”
“I married a vampire. Unfortunately she waited too long to bite me. Would you believe she is 2000 years old?”
Or when talking to your daughter (loud enough for others to hear) “Don’t worry sweetheart, they are just jealous that your mommy got herself a younger man. Don’t let them get to you.”
It will slowly but surely work into their brains. The more people hear it the more it will sink in. Then if someone asks you about it, just be honest and tell them your actual ages. Try to keep throwing humour in there too.
Try to get your wife on board too. Between the two of you, I’m sure that you will make some progress.
You will never be able to do anything about the reaction of strangers, but with enough practice you will learn to quickly defuse the situation. It won’t be easy, but life is a struggle sometimes.
SHe's going through the heartbreak of having a breakup right now, she probably wants some kind of company or consolation so she's approaching you with her feelings.
This is the worst time to take advantage of being together with her, because she may come to resent you for doing that in her moments of vulnerability, or she may move on after she's done getting what she needs from you, and you'll be stuck and hurting and realizing that you cheated on your wife.
Do you have any idea about how this happens out of the blue and at this age? I know people that have traumas or conditions and are like that since they were young, but she's particular because at 23 her desire was totally normal, we were even boring at bed, we never did many things. Now without any event she changed completely, like one day she didn't want even to ear about some specific sex things, and few after she's completely into it. I can't understand why and she simply says that she wants, can't explain why.
I'm glad you escaped too! Hopefully OP sees this and it compels her to do her own research into narcissistic abuse to see if there are other parallels in her relationship.
Yeah but I’m trying to say she’s not a model or anything. She’s just a pretty girl him and I know and she didn’t like that I guess. I follow a lot of people I used to be friends with that I don’t speak to anymore. If I started dating a guy who then went through my followers and demanded me to unfollow a bunch of guys because he doesn’t trust me and feels threatened that’s just a red flag to me
God you people are disgusting lmao
Yes definitely and this dude just doesn't seem like he gives a shit about her financial situation like not everyone is living like you.
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Tell her you're used to slimmer women.
I get it, thank you for clarifying, I apologise for being ignorant. It is really interesting what 15 years of being in the EU could mean for people. Let’s hope more countries on the continent join sooner or later so we can build a better future for everyone ^
I think you know the answer already. This is one instance you know about. Quite likely, there are even more instances you dont know about.
1) Leave him ASAP 2) Get yourself tested for STIs/STDs
While I agree with you I find it very telling when so many of the comments are supportive of OP while in the reverse case (woman wants to keep the baby, man wants nothing to do with it) he's automatically a deadbeat scumbag.
OP 100% owes child support but nothing beyond that. There wasn't any legally binding contract she could have made to get out of that obligation other than by giving up her parental rights via adoption.
Seen, thank you for sharing and I’m glad you did so much better this time.
LOL “nothing”.
No, many woman understand that 2 months is hardly even a relationship. If your relationship has been shorter than some company return policies, you need to chill out and just enjoy it for a minute.
They already discussed that they both want marriage and kids in their lives, so they have values in common, that’s all that is needed for now. 6 months I think is a more stable time to start comparing timelines and collective goals. Make sure you truly like the person in the present before getting so wrapped up in the future.
As someone who was married to my ex for 10yrs, I understand that change can be very hot. You two have built your life around each other and you thought that things were fine until they weren't. You have a chance of rebuilding though. This time you can make things how YOU want them to be though. There would be no compromising, no pleading, and no cheating.
It is definitely going to hurt, but can you truly see yourself staying with someone who lies to your face, has broken your trust, and is possibly putting your health at risk while she sleeps around? Now is the time to sit down and think about this sort of thing. If you confront her then there's a slight chance that she'll be remorseful and stop so you two can repair your relationship, but sadly cheaters often fall back onto old habits and will continue cheating.
Right now it's best for you to focus on yourself. Plan for the future ahead of you whether she's in it or not. If anything, have an exit strategy in place in case things do go south. Be careful though. When my ex left me for another woman he tried his hardest to break me by blaming all of our issues and his cheating on me. More than likely the issue lies within the cheater though so don't let it get you down. I wish you the best of luck. I'm here to chat if you need someone who has been through something similar.
Just get him to text you when they are there for lunch. Happen to drop in to see your old buddy Joe. What a coincidence. Oh who's this. Must be a business meeting right. Oh after Joe mentioned you meet that guy there every week. Should I know about this?
IDK, I do not recall myself or any of my friends having jealous fits about our bfs pillows back at the age of 19. She also threatened to kill him if he leaves (revealed in a comment). There are something’s that can be attributed to and excused by age, I don’t think this is one of them.
This sounds super frustrating and annoying. I’m sorry that you are going through this.
I would personally approach this with biting humour and ironic anger. When someone makes a comment, turn it around as best you can. Pretend that they are being rude for the opposite reason. If someone makes a comment about the age difference, throw something like
“Hey! I may be younger than her, but that is no reason to judge my wife. She waited until I was old enough to consent before hitting on me.”
“I married a vampire. Unfortunately she waited too long to bite me. Would you believe she is 2000 years old?”
Or when talking to your daughter (loud enough for others to hear) “Don’t worry sweetheart, they are just jealous that your mommy got herself a younger man. Don’t let them get to you.”
It will slowly but surely work into their brains. The more people hear it the more it will sink in. Then if someone asks you about it, just be honest and tell them your actual ages. Try to keep throwing humour in there too.
Try to get your wife on board too. Between the two of you, I’m sure that you will make some progress.
You will never be able to do anything about the reaction of strangers, but with enough practice you will learn to quickly defuse the situation. It won’t be easy, but life is a struggle sometimes.
Good luck!
SHe's going through the heartbreak of having a breakup right now, she probably wants some kind of company or consolation so she's approaching you with her feelings.
This is the worst time to take advantage of being together with her, because she may come to resent you for doing that in her moments of vulnerability, or she may move on after she's done getting what she needs from you, and you'll be stuck and hurting and realizing that you cheated on your wife.
Thank you for all the info, it's so detailed.
Do you have any idea about how this happens out of the blue and at this age? I know people that have traumas or conditions and are like that since they were young, but she's particular because at 23 her desire was totally normal, we were even boring at bed, we never did many things. Now without any event she changed completely, like one day she didn't want even to ear about some specific sex things, and few after she's completely into it. I can't understand why and she simply says that she wants, can't explain why.
What advice are you looking for, exactly?
What did your boyfriend do when your dad got in his face?!!
Sounds like you wanted to keep it casual so that you weren't required to commit and that worked out for you until it didn't.
I'm glad you escaped too! Hopefully OP sees this and it compels her to do her own research into narcissistic abuse to see if there are other parallels in her relationship.
Yeah but I’m trying to say she’s not a model or anything. She’s just a pretty girl him and I know and she didn’t like that I guess. I follow a lot of people I used to be friends with that I don’t speak to anymore. If I started dating a guy who then went through my followers and demanded me to unfollow a bunch of guys because he doesn’t trust me and feels threatened that’s just a red flag to me