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I wouldn’t call it permission to do it again if OP goes back, but it would empower him to do worse because he will think he has complete control.
The solution to this is easy. You just sit down with him, put your arms around him, hug him and say “SON, I'm glad you are in my life now and that we're building a father and son relationship. I Just want you to know that I love you” .
That should do the trick for any child who wants a relationship with their parent.
You're free to make whatever active decision you want, just as I'm free to not online my life based on fear.
Even if they’re identical twins, there’s still a DNA test that can determine paternity. It’s just more expensive because they have to look at a lot more of the genomes to find the differences. Even identical twins don’t have completely identical DNA.
It did mess with my self esteem. I’m chunky with small breasts and the women he was jerking off to had HUGE boobs. He had always told me that he loves my boobs/body when I would get self conscious but… he was masturbating to women solely with large breasts. Unsettling to say the least.
If he goes back to doing that, financially, I’ll be okay if things end. I just hope I have the emotional strength to do what needs to be done and not settle.
Updateme!
One thing you know for sure is that he is a liar and a cheater. There are plenty of honest non-smoking folks out there who would love to spend some time with you. Start looking and dump this guy.
OP, you said he slept with someone else…how did you discover this? Did he tell you and did he tell you who he slept with?
Stay out of it. And if your father won’t leave you alone, cut him off.
He’s a controlling asshole at best. He has been trying to punish your sister for the sin of being an independent human being who makes her own choices. Now that he’s losing access to something he wants (his grandchild), he expects her to come crawling back.
Check out r/raisedbynarcissists and see if anything looks familiar to you.
Wise advice
Your husband's attitude is just trash. I'd start preparing to move on, he's no husband. A husband is someone who loves and cares for you, not mocks you and makes you feel like a fool.
Both of us didn't know how to manage each other's disagreement at first, since we both are very headstrong. It took both of us a while… but now, at least we know each other's personalities and how to handle/sacrifice for each other. Regarding me being angry and question about is she afraid of me. No, I'm actually the calmer one and I don't flip out right away, I always try to talk in calming voice, even if I strongly disagree with her. For this incident also, I started calm and she kept on hiding about this guy, that's why I flipped out. She is definitely not afraid of me, she is type of person that gets heat up first and so fast whenever there is a disagreement. It feels like she only way her to win the argument is by raising her voice, and I'm the one who actually get afraid of her.
Yes, read it, I’m glad to hear the result. Best wishes.
Why would he be ok with using a condom to jerk off… but he's not ok using one to fuck his wife? This man is sus as hell.
He's not even her partner. That's what really makes this ridiculous.
Instead of relaxing, try pushing
It's a joke until it isn't. Statistically he is the most likely man to hurt you. Stop living with him.
You are clearly in a family that thrives on drama. There is no reason for you to be close to an aunt your barely know or weigh in on the dispute between sisters. Not your circus not your monkeys etc.
She’s acting very untrustworthy but you’re just going to trust that she’s telling you the real story of what happened. Bottom line, this guy’s feelings are more important to her than yours are.
My guess is, you’re looking for somebody that is like someone else you used to date. Maybe you’re not over that old flame?
I mean they were together for 3 years. I don't think that was the core problem. I feel you that it may be could have contributed to the issues but I don't see that even being a factor truthfully. Even if they moved in together too quickly those problems are still not dependent on that fact you know what I mean